What's the most accepted theory on why 2-7% of men are gay (not bi)? I'm merely curious because I think I'm gay so I just wanna know why PS If this is the wrong sub please move it to the right one, mods
Idk, i feel that men try to seem strong because they rarely say how them feel really; gay men are more open with their feelings imo.
There's this theory that it involves epigenetics in your mom's womb. The gene is actually supposed reduce fighting over females and over population in a family group like in hunter gatherer times. And the more old male sidlings you have the more the odds of having this gene turned on in the womb. Epigenetics is becoming a more and more accepted theory for homosexuality because it doesn't seem like there is an actual gay gene but yet there must be something because there does seem to be a correlation in family. Example if one twin is gay there's a 20% chance the other one will be. If you think you might be gay then that's great!! You get to stop over population and figure between male for a female mate. Yay! Go you! (Not necessarily cuz you could do surrogacy+egg donor but alot of gay men adopt. And obviously early humans couldn't do this. Haha)
I'm sorry but I can't relate to this at all. My first sexual attraction to guys started in puberty after having a circle jo with some buddies. Before that I don't think I was aware of the whole sex thing. First time touching a dick was weird, but the feeling was more or less the same with a vagina. Over the time, I had the opportunity to repeat the mutual masturbation with a buddy and I got used to the whole "process" . Stripping away the "weird" factor and letting myself enjoy in the moment made me realize that I could enjoy a cock same as a vagina. Now the social pressure that one is "the real" and the other is wrong/bad just hinders the complete freedom of it. I cant accept the notion that there is something else with my genes because that will just support the notion that it needs to be fixed. My acceptable theory is that we as human beings evolve and that part of us grows as well. I mean if you accept the theory that the genes are not transmitting correct information to the place where it should be, then how would you define someone with "foot" fetish or latex? Our genes can distinguish types of rubber? Plus, I recently got to know a person that shifts form one side to the other only having money as factor, and he describes himself as gay-for-pay. If the price is good, I don't mind who I fuck is his slogan.
Sexual orientation and a fetish are entirely different things. Sexuality is a spectrum, some are heterosexual some are homosexual and everyone else is somewhere in between. Sex workers often have sex with people outside their preferred gender.
Well this theory is just to explain exclusively homosexual attraction. If you're attracted to both men and women (which you sound) then I wouldn't say your exclusively homosexual. And as of now there is really no theory on bisexuality, pansexuality, ect just homosexuality. And as far as your buddy sex is sex I can be pleasureable even if your with someone your not fully attracted to. But this theory just explains homosexual attraction not msm. (Men who have sex with men. (Regardless of sexual attraction and orientation)) It doesn't state that your genes are transmitting the wrong information to the wrong place. The theory states that everyone has a gay epigennome but certain envormental factors can affect when the gene is activated or not. Similar to how you can carry the blue eye gene but have brown eyes. I dislike your theory because it promotes the idea that people can "turn" gay. Which is not true. This theory backs up the idea that you're born this way which I definitely believe. A fetish is different from a sexual attraction. People aren't sexually and/or romatically attracted to feel or rubber they're just turned on by it. Homosexuality is observed in many different animal species so there must be something genetic about it. You can read more about this theory here http://www.nature.com/news/epigenetic-tags-linked-to-homosexuality-in-men-1.18530 Plus there's a ton of other articles if you search homosexuality epigenetics. They're is a Ted talk about it too. The science part is good but it's a little sterotypical saying that gays are more flamboyant and joyful which helps keep early hunter gatherer groups happy and well bonded or something like that which is kinda BS but the rest is good.
"The theory states that everyone has a gay epigennome but certain envormental factors can affect when the gene is activated or not. Similar to how you can carry the blue eye gene but have brown eyes. I dislike your theory because it promotes the idea that people can "turn" gay. Which is not true. " - if this is so then there is no difference with Kinsley's conclusion that everyone is born as bisexual and no one is "turned" into something but rather one's sexual arousal guides one to one side or the other. In other words both are equally natural. The one side is more condemned by society that is the wrong one, so forcibly it dominates the other. But that doesn't mean that it is constant but it is rather more fluent, in terms that one can "mix" around the scale, and I would add as long as he/she has the complete and pure freedom for it. If boys and girls, are raised with both questions of attraction for instance, do you have a girlfriend to a girl and boyfriend to a boy and similar constellations that are predominately imposed as mainstream of true "guidance" or parenting are reversed . We humans would have more freedom to "experiment " or learn with members of our own gender. I recently observed two kids, boys, of some friends, around age 4 they were playing with their peepees and laughing loudly up until their parents stopped them with a "harsh" educational lesson that boys SHOULDN'T do that to other boys. Is there a place where the vice versa situation is shown or explained to children ?No i dont think so, true that some societies are more loose about the subject nowadays, but you don't have a place where people would ask a kid if he/she likes someone of his own gender and this to be the mainstream .So no one is turning someone into something, but rather one is guided towards something. The main "problem" about this is the process of reproduction, being as it is. Problem I say, in a sense that it has a great influence over the one side leaving the other side "weak". From the link you posed among many limitations in the research that was conducted, "for instance, epigenetic markers differ between tissues in the body, and those in the brain are probably most relevant to sexual orientation." this is the one that says, all of this could be nothing if the samples taken were brain cells.
In addition to my post, forgot to insert, that we are not simply biological machines that are only driven by instincts, like some species, but we also include the cognitive part in the process of love making or at least it defines our libido and lust, otherwise why would a vagina or a penis be a turn on and not the belly button or what do I know ..the nose. Hence, why I inserted the rubber earlier which can be a the sole sexual magnet to someone, and nothing else would arouse that individual. True, fetish by definition leans towards physical objects , but the "magnet" that pushes one towards it, is the same as the one that two individuals have when feel sexually drawn to each other.
I totally agree. There's so much heteronormativity. The world would be so much better if everyone wasn't assumed straight unless otherwise stated. And if kids were encouraged to explore they're sexualities and told that they could like girls, boys or both. Instead of being told that they'll a partner of the opposite sex and always talked to about the opposite sex.
That doesn't impact your sexual orientation. Many people have little awareness of sex or sexual attraction until they reach puberty. In your case, masturbating with other guys likely awakened your awareness that you enjoyed being with guys. Another piece is denial can be strong, and most of us are raised believing that it's "normal" to be heterosexual and so we tend to assume we're normal. Denial can simply reject any info to the contrary. If the mutual masturbation experience you described was your first masturbation experience, then I can pretty easily see why you might not have had any particular sexual awareness prior to that. There appears to be a genetic factor, but there also appears to be other factors; identical twins have a significantly increased likelihood of being gay compared to fraternal twins, but it is still about 50% increase, not 100%. So there appear to be early childhood factors (in much the same way that early childhood factors are predictors for development of disease and risks for addiction.) As another poster has said, fetishes and sexual orientation are entirely different. With the foot fetish at least, there's some data (I don't know how solid) that indicates that the part of the brain where perception of feet occurs is very close to the part where sexual arousal occurs and there may be some cross-excitement. But I don't think we know for certain. Gay for pay has nothing to do with sexual orientation. These are people who are willing to have sex with the same-sex for money. They (unless they are lying to themselves) aren't actually sexually attracted to the same sex, it's purely a means to an end. In porn, there are a number of guys who identify as straight who have sex with guys, and some of these are genuinely straight and doing it for money, while others are gay and use their porn experiences (or, for that matter, escorting/prostitution) as a means of coming to terms with their same-sex attraction.
So here's the thing: Tell me please why I likely ended up being gay (or identifying as mostly gay anyways) after years of intense physical attraction and sexual fantasies exclusively about the opposite sex. Penis turned me off, the sight of guys made me nauseaus. No turn on at all, only girls turned me on. And then when I turned 14 something changed. I somehow shifted from exclusively straight to mostly gay Also what I'd like some info on is how accepted is the hypothesis (in the scientific community) that there are early signs of a guy being gay: like playing with dolls, having female friends etc I for one know that oddly enough I did have girly tendencies as a boy, namely that I would always cry if my shoes got dirty, fearing mom would be sad... lol I also had mostly female friends in kindergarten, but that quickly changed in elementary school I'm definitely not the stereotypical gay dude either, not to offend anyone but still, I don't have gay manneurisms
Most likely due to heteronormativity and being told you'll have a girlfriend someday your primary attraction was to women and you didn't even think of being with a guy as a possibility. Mostly feeling only sexual Attracted to them. Then around 14 you probably because more curious about men and strated realizing your attraction towards men. Then you probably noticed that you actually had a preference for men. You say you now identify as mostly gay, meaning you still have an attraction to women just weaker that towards men, correct? Based off this I wouldn't say your sexuality changed but rather that you only thought about yourself with a girl and therefore only focused on that attraction. Then eventually got curious and noticed your stronger predominant attraction towards men. I'm also not really a stereotypical effeminate gay guy but I had a few of these "girl" tendencies grow up. I did have a few baby dolls along with the typical "guy" toys and most of my friends until Middle School were girls. However I'm not sure how common this is and I wouldn't say it's a 100% factor in someone's sexuality. There are some gay guys that had tons of male friends growing up and were on the football team and all kinds of typical "straight" stuff.
