1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Never thought I'd end up here, but here I am

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Hobbes, Oct 13, 2017.

  1. Hobbes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    The World that Never Was
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    So, I'm planning on coming out to my family on Sunday (the 15th). My oh so brilliant plan is to write each of my family members a letter and then leave the letters in their respective dressers. It should be noted that I don't live with my family, I live in different town thirty minutes away because of school.

    Is there any advice that I could get?
     
  2. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Hobbes,

    What kind of advice are you looking for? What to say? Examples of Coming Out letters?
     
  3. Hobbes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    The World that Never Was
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    More as to what to do after I've put the letters and how to handle their reactions.
     
  4. simple boy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2017
    Messages:
    88
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    i don't really have any advice ....sorry
    i think you should probably go with the latter thing cause i'm kinda thinking about doing the same thing

    good luck
     
  5. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Hobbes,

    I'd say that your choice of method for Coming Out will potentially leave you hanging for reactions until your family members respond via text, phone call or face-to-face. So I'd say that your best bet is to have something to do to occupy your time constructively while you await their reactions.

    In terms of responding to their reactions, are you anticipating some negative or questioning reactions? If so, what kind of reactions are you anticipating?
     
  6. simple boy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2017
    Messages:
    88
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    florida
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    dude....
    you got to be strong i don't really have any advice for you because i'm kinda in the same boat. well at least you know that you're not alone
    i'm not going to lie i'm freaking scard bro lol. don't give up and be strong even though i already said that ready

    just know that i have you back and that you are not alone

    good luck bro
    just have a safe and a happy coming out :thumbsup:
     
  7. PatrickUK

    Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2014
    Messages:
    6,943
    Likes Received:
    2,359
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It's always a good idea to provide a link to groups like PFLAG in any letter and urge the recipients to check out the link before contacting you. Why? Because many of the questions they may have will already be answered and answered well on their website. Take a look for yourself by searching PFLAG.
     
  8. Kodo

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2015
    Messages:
    1,830
    Likes Received:
    849
    Location:
    California
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Only advice is to be ready. Ready for good reactions and also for not-so-good good ones. I think my biggest oversight when coming out to my family (via letter as well) was that I was not prepared for the reaction and consequences. I had only planned so far as the delivery of the letter. But since you are not living with family it should be less of a personal risk to come out.

    Stay true and stay strong. Once you come out, the biggest weight will be lifted off your shoulders.
     
  9. Hobbes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    The World that Never Was
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well, I'm expecting mixed reactions. I really think that each of them is going to have a different reaction and I'm still not sure how to handle that. I'll look into PFLAG and add it to the end of the letters.

    Thank you everyone for the advice and support.
     
  10. Quantumreality

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2016
    Messages:
    4,311
    Likes Received:
    329
    Location:
    Arizona, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hey Hobbes,

    Just FYI, there is a pamphlet called Our Children on the PFLAG webiste that you might want to consider downloading and printing for them.