I haven't posted here for several months. I didn't just decide not to, but I've had a lot going on and have been working through a lot internally. I don't expect that anyone here will remember me as I wasn't a super active participant for a long period of time or anything; however, this forum and the people here were very helpful to me at a really vulnerable time in my life. I'm not entirely past that time, but I'm at least certain of who I am and who I'm attracted to. That's more than I could say several months ago when I first discovered this forum. I'm still only out to one friend, but I've enough serious conversations with one of my sisters that I don't think she will be surprised when I tell her. And I do think I'll probably tell her fairly soon. I'm seriously considering coming out to a close cousin in the next few days. I live in a small rural town which equals closed minds. If I was out pubically I would lose any chance at promotion/advancement in my career. I have another job as well that I hope to be able to parlay into a full time endeavor. I would be fired if they knew I was queer. I'm a professional and have worked several years and have many years of education and multiple degrees/certifications. It's just too much to rush right now. I have too much time toward my retirement at this point. All that being said, I'm lonely. How do you even you about discretely meeting people in small towns? Where would I go? Is it even fair to try to meet someone knowing I'm not ready to be completely open yet? I won't rule it out entirely. I mean, maybe there's someone out there that would be worth risking everything, you know? I don't know. Right now it doesn't matter because I don't even know how to begin to find the queer community here. Any help or even just commiseration is appreciated.
Hey you can definitely have commiserations for living Ina small town with closed minded people. Being in a situation where you can't be open and honest because of your career is a tough place to be. Have you done any research to see if there are any LGBT meet ups or groups nearby? Where is the closest bigger place? I think it is difficult to meet someone if you aren't very out but that's not to say impossible at all. I think the most important thing if you do go out looking is just to be completely honest about your situation, then it is their choice. Ideally I guess they would be in a similar situation.
advice: date someone out of town in the next major city over set up a datinf profile without a pic or pay to makes yours such that you control who you allow to see your profile. get plugged into the lgbt community or meetup groups in the nxt largest city over to you so you can meet people. your town sounds like a queer witchhunt town. maybe move somewhere else that is more supportive and if you cant move travel to places that are more supportive and not too far from you
