Advice Required: Is this flirtatious & flirtatious tips

I don't tend to come on here a lot but if anyone has read my other post and if you haven't, you'll probably be intrigued to do so now, you'll know I'm not very lucky in love. However, things are on the up. Maybe.

Here goes, a guy I don't know that much but we've spoke briefly is very attractive, too attractive for me anyway and I wanted to know if he liked me but this time I actually know he's gay. He didn't tell me he's gay but I had an idea and he later told my friend.

I'll just list everything that lead me to the conclusion of posting this thread.

When we first met I felt like he was staring at me a lot when I wasn't looking and I later got told by a friend that they thought that too.
Another time I was going passed someone who was doing something and he was in the way but rather than moving he stood right there so I had to squeeze and brush past him.
He later initiated a conversation and we got talking a bit about interests and we do seem to have a lot in common.
Again but more recently, I have felt him staring at me a lot again out of the corner of my eye and other times making brief eye contact.
As well as this, we were having a conversation with a few other people and at first he'd make eye contact with everyone in the group but as I was looking at his eyes when he was talking, he spent longer and longer looking at me before looking at someone else and eventually he was just staring into my eyes and nobody else's but carried on talking as if he was speaking to the group.

I know all these are only very short and minuscule things but surely it's a step in the right direction?
Obviously I would like to know what you all thought about this current situation and if you did think he liked me then any tips in flirting back without being too obvious would be appreciated. I do think he's nice and good looking so any way to let him know I'm interested would be good too. Thanks as ever.

 

Yeah, this is a very fair point - I'm 100% sure he is gay, BUT, I'm always cautious about things like this. I don't have much experience in things like this because if I'm not definite that someone's into me then I'll never ever be the first to initiate something to save myself the embarrassment. That's why I've came on here to try and decipher if he's into me and then give him the right cues for him to make the first move. Get me? Weird and frustrating, I know.

 

Hi, me again. Well, I still know him and he's still very good looking. I'd say we've gotten a little closer in terms of the fact that we speak to each other a bit more and things like that. We tend to joke with each other, sometimes a bit of teasing. It's just his general aura that he gives off is a positive one that is enticing but I feel he thinks the same as me.

We work in a retail environment together and he tends to linger around me so he can talk to me and we make eye contact at random points during the day. He also invited me to smell his wrist so I knew what cologne he was wearing. However, there's a big BUT, he has a boyfriend. When I first met him I didn't know this (obviously) but I'd say I'm definitely punching above my weight if he did like me and his boyfriend is good looking too. I'm just sort of doubting myself and wondering where to take it from here. Should I ask for his Snapchat? Just take it slow and speak to him in work? I just feel like it's going so slow because I see him like once or twice a fortnight for a couple of hours during work, it's going no where.

Thanks

 

Obviously I know how bad it sounds about wanting to go for someone who has a boyfriend - it's not like I'd ever do anything but I'm curious to see if he does like me. If it ever got to that stage then I know me and I wouldn't stand for that at all - it's me or him. However, since it isn't and most likely wouldn't, I was just wondering as to what to do.

As far as me being out, I'm not out as such but I feel like it's fairly obvious I like guys. At work I tone it down and I'm not in your face camp but there's an odd occasion where I let slip hahah.

 

I keep coming back to this just so that I don't have to make a new thread but I have updates! Basically, it's very clear he likes me (or I feel it is). He's implied that I'm good looking, he's put his head on my shoulder, unnecessary touching, prolonged eye contact, innuendos and at one point, although it was a semi-joke, we were about 1mm away from each others face and lips. We also Snapchat a bit. Anyway, after all of this, he then brings up his boyfriend randomly and I'm shocked but not shocked (obviously because I already sort of knew but I'd assumed they'd broken up because the level of flirting is crazy and I'd heard he had a boyfriend from someone else why didn't know him very well, not himself). Now I just don't really know what to do. I'm going to bring it up when I next speak to him and ask why he didn't tell me but what the fuck or should I not bring it up at all in case I come across as weird, needy and like I was under the illusion it was anything more than flirting? Why has he done this?

 

Appreciate the reply and your insight. I think you've hit the nail on the head. I did ask him why he has done this last night (albeit drunk but I made sense and I've messaged him sober about it which he has yet to reply to). He just said that he didn't realise he needed to tell everyone he met he had a boyfriend and questioned whether I just assumed he was single. To me, this seems like a bit of a dick move really because it almost seems as though I'm in the wrong - yes, I did assume he was single for the fact of the intense flirting as I would never do this if I was in a relationship.

He went on to say that I am a great guy and he really likes me but I mentioned how I feel embarrassed/stupid/bad because of the whole scenario, he was just saying how I shouldn't feel bad and that it's not awkward at all and how he's sorry if he's lead me on. He suggested we talk about it at a different time, hence why I contacted him this morning but he's yet to get back to me. I just said that he's not lead me on (even though he has) and I don't want him to feel bad. I also suggested we speak about it in person next time I see him.

I feel bad in terms of the fact that I do like him as a person and I'm worried where this will put our relationship but as you so well said, how could I ever trust him or want to? I feel a sense of guilt towards his boyfriend like I've almost been an accessory to this.

How would you suggest our relationship (friendly) can progress after this? I have to see him about once or twice a week for however long into the future and like previously said, I'm worried that it will become awkward and definitely change our relationship for the worse, this is unfortunate because again, I really like talking to him as a friend and obviously more but I don't think I could ever go there now. Thanks

 

Hey, again, I really appreciate you helping me out.

I'm obviously upset but like you seem to think, I suppose it's a lucky escape because how could I trust him? I've spoken further to him today and we seem to be on the same page now - he doesn't want me to feel bad and he hopes (like me) we can still be friends.

However, as previously stated, I'm unsure how a friendship could progress as I'll definitely feel awkward at first and will always have reservations at the back of my mind. As much as he has disappointed me, I don't want him to feel bad and like he has to watch what he says around me and has to have his guard up but I feel this is the only outcome for the beginning. Setting rules is a good idea, they won't be explicitly laid out in front of him but if he does over step the mark, I am an upfront and honest person (hence why I asked him about it) so I will let him know that he needs to tone it down, but, I get the feeling that he won't do anything like this again. This further adds to why I feel like it will be awkward as our relationship won't be the same unfortunately. Hey ho, I guess it better to know his true intentions than to question what could be.

I'm all for a bit of fun but if he does continue to tease me, knowing how I feel and yet again how he has a boyfriend then like you say, a friendship is off the table and I have no quarms doing so. I suppose I'll have to fill you in with how it goes the next time I see him hahah. Wish me luck and say a few prayers.