1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Bisexual but can't get hard with girls.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by bookworm18, Oct 2, 2017.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

Page 2 of 2
  1. yayforthelgbt

    yayforthelgbt
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2014
    Messages:
    88
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Family only
    What about asexual people who still experience romantic attraction? Just wondering.
     
    #21 yayforthelgbt, Oct 4, 2017
    bookworm18 likes this.
  2. Shultz

    Shultz
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2017
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Virgo Supercluster
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Well yes, but couldn't you have romance without sex(wouldn't be as good though)?
     
    #22 Shultz, Oct 4, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2017
    bookworm18 likes this.
  3. Chip

    Chip
    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,560
    Likes Received:
    4,757
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    If we're using the widely-used definition of 'asexual' (as opposed to the crowdsourced and utterly un-pin-downable one), then someone who is asexual has no sexual attraction whatsoever. What they describe as "romantic" attraction is most likely friendship.

    Keep in mind that asexuality, as the term is widely used, is hardwired, unchangeable, and exceptionally rare, and many people who define themselves as asexual don't actually meet these criteria, so they are more likely either dealing with trauma, childhood issues, or other factors that make it difficult or uncomfortable to want to be in relationships, which they confuse with asexuality.
     
    #23 Chip, Oct 4, 2017
    Shultz likes this.
  4. bookworm18

    bookworm18
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Alright. Alright. F labels. But as far as coming out?? I've already started coming out as bi to my friends and my parents or bi with a preference for men to my close friends and my mom. Now I'm unsure of how to proceed.
     
    #24 bookworm18, Oct 4, 2017
  5. bookworm18

    bookworm18
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Ehhh.. I don't know about that. Most asexual people just have low sex drives and aren't too interested in sex or even really masturbation for that matter. Alot of them do masturbate but mostly as a "cleaning of the pipes" I wouldn't say all ace people have had childhood trama and that's leading them to be afriad of having sex. That's like saying gay people have all had bad childhood experiences with women and that's why they feel attracted to men. (Which is totally not true).
     
    #25 bookworm18, Oct 4, 2017
  6. Shultz

    Shultz
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2017
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Virgo Supercluster
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Just keep proceeding as you were before.
     
    #26 Shultz, Oct 5, 2017
    bookworm18 likes this.
  7. Chip

    Chip
    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,560
    Likes Received:
    4,757
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Again, if you are using the widely used definition that has been use for decades and is validated by research and the clinical experience of hundreds of professionals in the field, then the definition i used above is correct.

    If you are using the crowd sourced definition that has no research, study, or other grounding in factual information, then the nebulous definition you describe (which cannot be pinned down since there are so many variations to it) is an accurate depiction of that belief.

    And to set the record straight, I absolutely do not believe that all (or, for that matter *any*) asexual people are asexual because of trauma or abuse. I do believe that the majority of people who have an aversion to sex (which is different from disinterest) liley do have trauma issues, as there is no indication that aversion to sexual is hardwired and unchangeable.
     
    #27 Chip, Oct 5, 2017
    bookworm18, DirectionNorth and Shultz like this.
  8. bookworm18

    bookworm18
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Ohh. That makes sense. Sorry, I miss understood your previous message. I thought you meant all asexual people must have experienced some form of trama or abuse in order to feel that way.
     
    #28 bookworm18, Oct 5, 2017
    Shultz likes this.
  9. bookworm18

    bookworm18
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Oct 2, 2017
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    United States
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Ok. I will. Thank you.
     
    #29 bookworm18, Oct 5, 2017
    Shultz likes this.
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Page 2 of 2