Lately I've been feeling very alone and I've been very depressed lately. This new school environment, everything I know is back in New York, I still feel stuck transition-wise. All that and more. Plus I've been sick the past few days. This really sucks. I need to lose weight, I need to transition, I need to try dating, I need a job, I need a whole lot of things. Especially since I'm in the last stage of my educational career, and after this I'm really alone. I don't know what to do. I need love, I need to be a girl, I need money. I need a lot of things, and they all seem impossible. Why can't I find love? Why can't I get anything important to me done? Why? What do I do? It seems like I have no options and I'm stuck where I am. I don't want to be stuck anymore. I want to have a life, but it always seems like I can't have it.
I very much relate, but hang on there. It feels overwhelming sometimes looking at life, especially when you're trans, and at everything that seems to be piling up at once. However it's really important to take it easy, do things one step at a time, from my experience. Try to figure out what you want to prioritise, and make practical plans to make those things happen. Some things such as dating or love - they may come with time, as other things settle down. Other things like being sick - I'm assuming it's a short term thing? For now, just take care of yourself and focus on getting better. Everything less like transition, losing weight, academic careers, can be planned out in the long term. Even if you feel really stuck in some areas, making small victories in the areas you can, can always help. When everything is down it's impossible to see how it'll ever look up, but things can and will, even if it's all really pretty bad now. It's not your fault. That all said, like I said I relate. Life can be overwhelming, especially when every aspect is happening at once. So yeah, sort of in the same boat but sending good thoughts. Take care <3
I feel you. My life is also stuck. I just try to make the best of it but it's frustrating when there is no progress. Right now I can barely keep my appartement even remotely clean and even getting money for my rent, food and medicine is hard. I can't study before my id gets changed because I want to live stealth and if I go studying now everybody in that field would know. I just want a normal life. My health is also not the best right now. You are not alone in the misery. Being trans really gets in the way of everything. I even left some pretty serious medical conditions untreated because I was sure that I would just be treated badly if I went to see a doctor. That was stupid. I try to think that life is never ready. And you don't know when you die. I try to be good to the others and create more good than bad. I try to be the best person I can in this situation that sucks.