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Very supportive teacher suddenly repeatedly misgendering me

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by harryfinn, Oct 1, 2017.

  1. harryfinn

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    So this is a pretty small thing to make a post about, I'm sorry, but hopefully some people will understand why it upset me quite a bit.

    There's this teacher at my school who was the first teacher I came out to (a year ago), because she is very vocal in her support of trans people. Since then she has always called me by the right name and pronouns and essentially been ideal in that she never pressured me to think about things I wasn't ready to think about, like medical transition, and had always let me rant to her about stuff. She's my writing teacher and is always nice about trans-related things I write, and recommends me trans-related books etc. She really has given me confidence in my gender and with coming out at school, and spoken to other teachers on my behalf when I didn't want to myself. In short, she has basically been my entire support system for a year.

    This weekend I was on a residential trip with her and 12 other (cis, female) students. Several times (i.e. about 25 times?) she called the group "girls". Each time I would clear my throat or something, and she didn't respond. I don't understand why she was doing this, so any insight into that would be appreciated. I was also wondering whether you think I should speak to her about it. I feel guilty doing so because she has helped me immensely in the past. But I had a very uncomfortable weekend because of all the misgendering.

    Any ideas as to why this happened or whether I should do anything about it?
     
  2. BiDragon

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    The reason your teacher might be doing this is because you’re the only non-girl in your group, and it could be easier to say “girls” instead of “girls and guy”. Since they have always been supportive of you, you should go up to them and ask them why they keep misgendering you. I hoped this helped!
    -BiDragon <3
     
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  3. harryfinn

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    Thanks for your reply! The thing is, my school is single-sex so I am always the only boy around, and this problem has never come up before. Still, you're probably right that it's more convenient for her to call us by the majority gender. Thanks for your help :slight_smile:
     
  4. Eveline

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    One thing to keep in mind is that your teacher is most likely under a lot of stress because she has to take care of all the people in your group in an unfamiliar setting and make sure that they are safe. At school she is much more free to focus her attention on your needs as the routine of teaching gives her the stability needed to do so.

    I would suggest to give her the benefit of the doubt in this case and try to take into consideration her own needs as a person. She does sound like an amazing person and I'm so happy that she has been there for you in such a way. :heartpulse:
     
    #4 Eveline, Oct 1, 2017
    Last edited: Oct 1, 2017
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  5. BiDragon

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    I’m glad I could help!
     
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  6. harryfinn

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    Yes, I think you're right actually. Thank you, that's a really helpful comment and I'm gonna go with that explanation. :slight_smile: