ok here goes... I’ve always thought I was straight, never been married but have children (currently with a man) , never even thought of being with another female... Yet recently I connected with a wonderful woman online, it was just a friendship and then something happened. I know in my heart that I love her, we both feel it, that we are soulmates and meant to be.. I don’t know where to go from here.
Well first of all take a deep breath. I think you have to take everything one step at a time. If you are currently Ina relationship with a man then my advice would be to deal with that first. Make sure you get yourself out of any current relationship before considering anything with the lady .
YES! she does. She is and always has been a lesbian (currently attatched). We just connected emotionally and mentally. We understand each other Which is amazing as she lives in the USA. She’s explained that this transition will be a lot harder for me and advised I seek advice and support because of the children..... well and me
Breathing I can do . I have been trying to deal with current situation but we had a child a year ago.... makes this harder
Oh of course. It's going to be a lengthy process. Have you talked about long terms plans? You say she is in a relationship too? What is the status with her relationship?
Yes we have talked long term. Me moving out there. She’s married but not happily. We have spoken very openly and she never pushed this. I made the first move, I don’t know why but I’m over the moon I did
I will keep you in thoughts and prayers... being older and just in the last year realizing considering somethings different than it has been has been brutal the deal with emotionally for the last week. Just take it slow
I know but have a lot to deal with and every persons situation is different. It’s so ch a huge change but it feels amazing and scary at the same time. Thank you
Ok well I am not trying to throw a downer on your party but I suggest you take things very gradually. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with talking about a future together but you have to keep your feet on the floor. Until you have met in person you cannot say for sure how well it will work in real life. I'm not saying it won't or that she is not being genuine. I'm assuming that your current relationship wasn't working before you met this girl and if that's the case then I still think you should work on ending that relationship. Ideally before you meet her in 6 months time. Hopefully by that point she will have sorted out her current relationship and then you will both be in a position to move forward. I really hope it works out for you I will keep my fingers crossed.
Thanks, it’s why we want to meet, to make sure that the feelings are true, that we still connect etc. We both want to sort out our situations beforehand. My current partner and our relationship is not normal. We are more like friends, we work but it’s just not working as I need... it may sound selfish but until I met her I was unaware of how much I had hid under the carpet with him. Thanks again,, I will take on board what you have said
I don't think it sounds selfish, sometimes we don't realise what we are missing until we find it elsewhere. It sounds like you are being very sensible which is great. There is no reason to believe that you won't get on in real life. I just wanted to make sure you were both being realistic which it sounds as though you are. Ending a relationship is never nice but if you aren't happy then it's best to end it because you can then both be happier elsewhere.
