Okay so I'm in a kind of weird situation. I don't feel sexually attracted to men at all. I don't like having sex with them nor do I enjoy kissing them. But there were (and sometimes still are) some instances in which I've felt something for some boys emotionally. It's not like I want to be their partner though, it felt more like I wanted them to show interest in me and treat me well like guys do girls they like. I want to be called cute by them, have them do romantic stuff for me and have them like me even though I could never reciprocate? It's so weird and it's driving me crazy. I don't feel like this with women, I feel fully emotionally and sexually attracted to them. Is it possible that I might be bisexual or do I only have attention issues? Thanks for reading
Hi loving elijah, Others here on EC will disagree with me, and that's fine. To each their own. I'm going to give you my opinion, for what it's worth. You seem pretty sure here that you are not sexually attracted to men, but you are to women. By definition you are gay, and you are fully aware of it. In this case, I think you have some heteronormative script in your fantasies, probably a product of our culture, that idealizes this image of the romantic boy who gives you flowers and who is interested in you. The fantasy is nice. But it's just a fantasy. True romanticism is by its very nature sexual. In the entirety of sexual expression and feeling, love and romance play their parts. Many people believe that sexual lust and romantic attraction are completely different things, but I don't believe that. They are each a part of the whole called human sexuality. And it's very complex. You can have deep, loving and close relationships with your opposite gender friends. That doesn't make it sexual, or romantic. It doesn't make you bisexual. It simply makes you an awesome friend. Attention issues? Maybe.
loving elijah- Your thing of wanting men to show interest in u … I think … has psychological meaning, more important than the literal meaning … which is pretty unrealistic (it's unrealistic for u to fantasize them calling u cute but u could never reciprocate). This fantasy alone does not indicate you're bisexual. My intuition is that there's something in your background, with your family, your father, brother, or friend … where u wanted them to love u, but they didn'r, or u couldn't reciprocate. Is there any truth to this?
Now that I think about it, I can think of some relationships with specific men thay might've f*cked me up, but I just don't consider them severe or important enough as to f*ck me up like this (not my dad though, he's great). Thing is though, most of the reject I've experienced throughout life has been from other women (actually one of the reasons why it took me so long to realize I was attracted to women in the first place). I know this is unrealistic. I wish I could help how I feel about this whole thing. The last thing I want to do is hurt other people because I can't figure my feelings out.
