I'm just missing her today...

Was it Ellie Goulding, 'Love Me Like You Do?' Brutal. Completely. Gets me every time.

Adele 'Water Under the Bridge' Not Much Better...

Sigh...Hang in there, might want to take a music break and catch an episode of Brady Bunch instead. That at least won't evoke any strong emotions!

 

Sigh that song is enough to undo anyone. Not the best thing to listen to when you are missing someone for sure.

 

Music can be so emotive whether it is just the particular words to a song or the memories and reference they have to an event or time of your life. It's ok to break down perhaps in between the breakdowns you will have some better lighter moments.

 

I really really feel for you! My girlfriend broke up with me 2 weeks ago and I still can't eat without feeling like I'm actually going to be sick. I've loved her for the last 2 years and prior to that was in a 17yr hetro relationship. I haven't come out the other side so I have no words of wisdom, just know your not alone. You appear to be so much more braver than I am, I feel like I will hurt like this forever and will never love anyone ever again as I can't imagine life without her. She wants us to be best of friends and says she still loves me just the same. Why has it got to be so hard? She wants to go travelling as planned before she met me

 

Hey I'm so sorry you are hurting too.

 

Why indeed. So hard. But give yourself some time, it has only been two weeks. This is all so raw and painful. I remember right after my break up-- the not eating, not sleeping, going through the motions...unable to see how I could ever possibly love anyone as much as her. Certain that no one else would ever understand me like her.

It does get better. The pain becomes less, not gone, but less raw. It did take months but eventually I could see a glimmer that MAYBE I could move forward without her. Maybe I COULD love again. A glimmer, that's all, but it became a possibility, whereas immediately after the breakup there was no way I could have even entertained this idea. Baby steps of progress. I think this will happen for you too, when the pain won't be so all consuming, where you will also begin to see possibilities for yourself.

It all IS very sad though. Especially when we want to believe that love conquers all. I pretty much understand now that this isn't always the case. Not sure if this makes any sense. But I have wrapped my head around the fact that sometimes people can love very deeply, with all their heart, and can be exactly what the other wants in life. But they aren't always what each other needs in life. And that can be so frustrating and devastating to both people, but as is said, 'it is what it is.' Maybe you can identify with this too?

Anyway, I can't say I have 'come out the other side' either, but I am better. Things will get better for you too. But for now this is so new I know it is hard to see. If you have to live on just coffee,multi-grain cheerios and yogurt for a few days, it's okay (I did.) Little by little you will get back to actually being able to prepare real meals. Just be kind to you right now, it is all a process. Take care.

 

I can really empathise with everything you are going through. Don't be hard on yourself the roller-coaster of emotions is tough for anyone. Since my journey started 2 yrs ago so much has happened and I hoped by now I'd be on my way to my happy ever after but quite the opposite. My advice is take the time you need, tell your children when you are strong enough within yourself to deal with their emotions. I didn't tell all if my children although I think they had an idea, my ex told my daughter and she found it very hard.

 

Thank you moonsparkle, I am such a romantic in so many ways I guess. I'm so loyal and if I love someone so completely I'm willing to make all the compromises to make it work. I broke up my family unit to be with her because I believed in our love. I know I cannot be the only one to make compromises and put everything in and i can't change the way she feels.

I think I can somewhat identify with what you say about loving so deeply but not necessarily being what eachother needs. I'm still completely blinded by love.

She doesn't want a relationship with me anymore but everything is still there between us. Last weekend I spent an evening with her and she pulled me inside her bed and wrapped her arms and legs around me and commented on how wonderful it was. She asks to hug me a lot when we are together. Sits as close as she can to me. Tells me how much she likes spending time with me. I just can't understand why we can't make it work, she confuses me so much.

I hope you are right and things get easier. I just don't feel it.

 

I'm sorry but that's mean of her. She ended it she doesn't then get to pick and chose the bits she still wants.

It sounds like it could work but in order for it to work she has to want to make it work she needs to throw her chips all in and right now she isn't prepared to do that. Only she can make that decision, I suggest you spend as little time with her as possible (although I appreciate that's easier said than done) so that she realises exactly what she has given up.

 

For what it's worth, I agree. This goes for friendships too!

 

I went over to you tube and listened to these songs. They really suited my sad mood. Then I played some Beth Hart. After awhile, my spirit lifted.

 

This has got to be so difficult. Not sure if I am right but I gather that you two(together) had planned a future together, but then she needed to 'stay where she is'? If this is the situation I think on top of ALL the emotions some anger would be mixed in there too.

 

For you guys going through breakups, I just read that some smart person said that you need one week for every month of the relationship in order to really feel OK after a breakup that you didn't want to have happen. So, if you were with someone 2 years, still wanted to be with them, but for whatever reason, the relationship ends, you would need 24 weeks (6 months) to really heal. I'm sure it's more complex than that, but it sounded like a reasonable idea to me. So, like, maybe you can look at it and say, yes, this hurts like hell right now, and you can't imagine life going on. But understand that practically everyone has gone through heartbreak in life, and it does always seem to be OK after a while. Maybe giving yourself that rough amount of time could give you hope!

 

Sometimes the dynamic between people is that there's physical chemistry but other aspects for a relationship are lacking (i.e. compatibility, similar interests, goals). Sometimes that something which is missing can't even be described, but it just doesn't feel like a relationship would be right, even though physically things are good.
Perhaps that's what's going on with your ex?

 

My recent breakup broke all records in terms of getting over things quickly, so you never know. Each situation is different. The first day I cried like I never have before...literally all day, no matter what I did the tears wouldn't stop...I felt crazy! Then things calmed down and currently I can say I'm in a peaceful place (eerily peaceful for me...it's weird).
I know how you're hurting right now. Be kind to yourself, take things one step at a time, and don't think about the big concerns...try to focus on little things to stay in the moment (that helped me a lot). For instance, I literally tried to keep my mind on little current things like washing my car or going to get ice cream with a friend.
Take care of yourself...you're doing great. ❤️