Hey people. So I see myself as 'gay' since I'm a Kinsey Scale 5, and even though this makes me technically bisexual my attraction to women is only weak so the bisexual label doesn't really feel right for me. I base this on my sexual attraction and who I'm attracted to/desire sexually. However, I have noticed, that when it comes to emotional attraction and romantic attraction, I seem to like girls more? I was just watching this film 'A World Unseen' and it made me question my sexuality a lot. I could really feel the attraction between the two women, and actually found them highly attractive (I'm usually not attracted to women strongly.) In the film the girl's business partner (a man) is also interested in this certain women, and I could kind of imagine myself with the women he was interested in. Is this normal for someones who is meant to be gay? My attraction to men seems to be mainly lust, although I do feel some emotional attraction as well. While with women I don't feel much lust, I still feel heavily attracted emotionally. I feel like I could date any girl, no matter how attractive she is physically, while with guys I become kind of superficial and don't feel like I could date a guy who is not attractive to me. Why do I feel such a discrepancy in my attractions? After watching that film I tried fantasising and didn't get aroused by either (I guess I'm not in a sexual mood) but I enjoyed thinking about sex with a women much more (this is usually not the case.) Whenever I do *rarely* explore the bisexual side of me and any possible attraction to women, since I don't feel much lust naturally it becomes immediately an emotional act, and of pleasuring the partner I am imagining because I love them. Sex with men in my fantasies can be emotional as well, but it feels nicer with women emotionally. By the way, I'm a virgin, so this is based on my fantasies and who I've been attracted to so far. I'm pretty sure love and lust evolved separately, for different purposes, so is it possible I could be attracted to guys more sexually and girls more romantically? I'm not claiming to be 'hetero romantic homosexual' or whatever. These feelings aren't due to internalised homophobia or anything. I know it is probably typical to see many gay guys who feel like they still like girls romantically because they like them as friends and are finding it hard to see themselves with guys due to society. That's NOT me though. I feel genuine romantic feelings for girls, much stronger than with guys. I seem to really LOVE girls, and feel like I could enjoy sex with one as an emotional act, as a way to pleasure her, and I don't feel this same kind of intense love for guys (although these is some romantic attraction there.) Is this unusual? Does anyone have similar experiences?
yay: As a bisexual, I've had a somewhat similar process, around sex & romance w women & men. Reading your post, these elements speak to me: - a lot of your stuff seems to be fantasy or head based - u go back & forth - u state you're a Kinsey5 …yet u seem interested in women as well as men - I don't think love & lust evolved separately, more they're branches of the same tree of human relationship - u say you're a virgin: does that mean u haven't slept w a woman? Have u had sex w a guy? I suggest some practical experience: find someone you're attracted to, flirt w them, have some body contact … maybe even sex. This is like eating the meal, rather than just fantasizing about the items on the menu.
The more I think... the more I realise that I'm probably not gay. I have only little romantic interest in guys. I try to make myself like guys in that way but I can't relate at all to other gay men when they talk about their experiences romantically. I however can't relate to straight guys either in their lust for women. I shouldn't even be thinking about this when I'm sad anyway with other things in my life
