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I dont want to offend any one?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by aussielefty, Sep 20, 2017.

  1. aussielefty

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    So I have been on a couple sites ,gone on couple dates, just to test the waters
    But I seem to be attracted to guys in their late 60's early 70's.
    Don't get me wrong, nice guys but I'm hoping to meet some one around my age group or at least to mid 50's..
    But when they ask why I say no to more dates. and I always try to be nice about it.
    they think that I'm being age sexist or what ever its called.
    just dont know why people are like this ??
    If I like you I'll let you know.. sorry , am I doing the right thing??
     
  2. SiennaFire

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    If you are looking for guys around your own age or to mid-50's, why are going on dates with guys in their late 60's early 70's? You said that you are attracted to the older guys. Does this mean that you aren't attracted to guys your own age?

    In general it's better to be honest than nice (though not brutal). If you don't feel the attraction, you don't need to explain why. Something along the lines of I had a nice time on the date (if true) but we are not a match / I don't feel a connection with you is sufficient.

    If they pull the ageism card, simply point out that if you were ageist, you would not have gone on the date. There are no more dates because you don't feel a connection with them.
     
    #2 SiennaFire, Sep 20, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2017
  3. Imjustjulien

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    Beautiful, practical, real, honest...!

     
  4. aussielefty

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    when will I learn to proof read on the net!
    I menat to say I seem to attract guys from that age ,Im more attracted to guys my agaish to mid 50s like my best friend
    who's happliy marred .. sorry about that..
     
  5. SiennaFire

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    The key to gay dating is to be honest with yourself about what you want. If you are attracted to someone your own age, then it's OK to say no to guys that aren't a match (unless there is something about them you like). There's a rule of thumb on EC that you should date somebody +/- 10 years of your age but at least 27 (this applies to later in life folk), so dating guys around your age certainly falls into that range and the older guys fall outside that range.

    If you can't meet guys your own age, maybe you should try different sites or activities for meeting guys. The key is to figure out what kind of guy you want, figure out where they hang out, and go there to meet them.

    Gay dating can be brutal. Know what you want and go after it. Try not to take rejection personally. There needs to be mutual attraction for magic to happen.
     
    #5 SiennaFire, Sep 20, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2017
    driedroses likes this.
  6. Tomás1

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    I suggest doing the leisure things u like to do, such as hiking, Meetup cocktail parties, spiritual groups, pottery … whatever your personal interests are - instead of or along w dating.

    When u meet someone doing the things u like to do, u already have some things in common w them. Plus it's less pressured than dating, where you're both wondering "are we a match". Just being yourself, without being focused on finding a relationship … can make u more relaxed & likely to meet a new friend.
     
  7. aussielefty

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    thanks guys, yeah I think I may be trying too hard,
     
  8. Curt67

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    Hello I'm curt how are you ? I'm new here