I've heard several people now on this forum who are bisexual say that their preference ratio changes from men vs women over time. Even people who might describe themselves as mainly leaning towards one gender still find themselves being primarily attracted to the other gender at points in time, how does this work? I am thinking that I might be gay or bisexual, but I just don't know. I've considered myself straight for most of my life. Partially by default like anyone else but also because I've been attracted to girls physically instead of guys, and I've only ever had strong crushes on girls before (and by strong, I mean *unhealthy* haha). If you are a person who is bisexual (or really anyone, feel free to comment, I would love to hear all perspectives on this) how does it work? If someone describes his/herself as "70% straight, 30% gay" what does that mean? When they see a member of the opposite sex, do they feel double the attraction of an equally good-looking member of the opposite sex? Does it mean that 70% of the time they are attracted exclusively or primarily to the opposite sex, and vice-versa for the same sex? I'm aware of the Kinsey scale, but it seems to only measure behavior and not attractions. Obviously, there's no cut and dry answer, but still, there must be something I'm missing here right?
I personally am maybe 65-35 leaning towards the ladies. That doesn't mean if I fall for a guy I'm less attracted to him than if I fall for a girl, it just means that I find myself more likely to notice a good-looking girl.
Ahh I see. So it's more of a rough guage to see how often you are attracted to members of X sex or gender, as opposed to the quality of that attraction, like what parts you are attracted to, to what degree, and other factors.
Yeah, pretty much. Others may have different experiences tho, I am in no way the final authority on all things bisexual
My thoughts: - as to "good looking members of the opposite sex"… looks are only 1 criteria for me. Most important is their demeanor, their personality, their essence. Some good lookers (m & f) are conceited, & it's mainly about "How georgeous I am". So my main attraction is to their essence … tho their attractiveness is important. - as a bi male, I've always found that most potential male partners are primarily or exclusively interested in hookup nsa sex … which generally I'm not interested in. I got some good advice on EC to look for the most appealing guy I can find, who is also interested in a part time intimate relationship. - women are much more relationship oriented than most guys. As I'm into relationships, I put more energy into women, men. Women take more wooing, dating, etc. Guys will do it on the 1st date. - as I live in a mostly straight community, have mostly straight friends, & have an active social life … I'm more comfortable w a woman partner.
I'm bi too and my eyes are attracted to both. Feelings wise, I think I go with personality or how caring the person is. Doesnt matter which gender for me, but mostly women are generally more on that side so I guess I like women more although if there's a guy who's sensitive to my feelings and gentleman, I would most likely fall for him.
I have always generally preferred women physically/sexually, but would rather be in a relationship with a man. Lately, though I have found myself increasingly sexually attracted to men. I don't know if I am permanently moving closer to being gay, or if I will swing back the other way eventually.
For me, it's how often or how likely I am to be attracted, not the strength of the attraction (per person). It doesn't switch back and forth -- the dual interest is constant, but not equal. I'm primarily attracted to women physically and find a wide range of types attractive. When asked for a number, I usually say it's something like a 80/20 split. With men, I pretty much ignore the physical aspects and focus on personality. (I seem to get along better with men). I could be in a relationship with any gender and have been with a man since 1998. I still look at women and sometimes mess around with them -- it's optional, but my guy doesn't mind, so I indulge. If we were not together, I'd go back to dating women, at least try to. When I first came out and for several years after, I was exclusively lesbian. The woman mentioned in my sig encouraged me to do some BDSM with men instead of just women.
