I honestly can't take it anymore. I'm so in love with them that I can't even do my work in class. I just sit there contemplating about how life isn't worth living if I cant live it with him. I've started recording him with the front facing camera of my phone in registration class, I know, it's really creepy. I just get these random urges to see his face and look into his eyes, even if it's just on a screen. Everyday, I just think about the two us cuddling and and the relief that I would get by telling him how much I love him. Even if he didn't like me back I can just imagine the load of emotions being dropped. Today, he came up to me while I was wondering around in the corridors (I have social anxiety) and asked what I was doing. I didn't really answer him properly, I was midway into a phonecall conversation with my dad about other school problems. I am so annoyed at myself for not hanging up and starting a genuine conversation with him, because now I'm not going to see him for another week because he's going on a school trip that I couldn't attend because I didn't take the course. And that's another week less of the year that I'll get to see him. I've come up with this idea to leave my 'love letter' in my Google drive which he knows the password to just hasn't felt the need to access yet. Up until now, I've left it up to him to discover but I'm getting impatient. He's a curious person, and he regularly tries to snoop on my phone messages in registration class. What is a really clever but really subtle way of telling him how much I love him with my phone or Google drive? P.s He already knows I'm Bi but hasn't brought it up since finding out Appreciate all the advice, Unknown18
How did he find out you are bi, and what is his orientation? Leaving a love letter in Google drive sounds too indirect if he rarely accesses it. Why not give a real, handwritten letter to him? I know it sounds really scary, but that can really help you face your fears and also check out his body language for clues if he doesn't say much. Also, even though he may seem perfect, don't put up blinders to other equally interesting guys, especially if they are gay/bi and comfortable with their orientations.
Well, you're going to cringe at this, but he found out I was bi after searching up 'porn' in my search history. And I think you can guess what he found next. I don't know what his orientation is, but I wish I asked him at the time of him finding out mine.
Uh, no I'm not sure what you are implying about what he found out next. However, if he bothered to research your sexuality, that also says something about him. So, from my point of view, you have nothing to lose by being straightforward with him. But what do you want to do at this point?
I don't really think he searched that in his history to find out his sexuality, that's just something high school boys would do (which why you should always use private browsing). From the information you've given us it sounds to me as if he's straight but I don't think that should discourage you from telling him. As you said, it might just help get a lot of emotions out which could make talking to him easier. A letter or in person would work fine, the google drive thing may not work as well though. I wish you luck whatever decision you make
Yeah, I'm not convinced he knows for sure, and in any case, you should just be more direct and reach out to him. Your feelings are completely normal, and while there may be some awkwardness after you reveal your feelings, he will get over it if he's a true friend.
We exchange music regularly by the way, sometimes he just randomly sends me a song. A lot of them are about love. Could this be some sort of sign? You know what I find funny, the first song that he ever sent me is called 'Be Together', which I haven't been able to stop listening to since. It's been a constant back and forth of songs ever since he sent me that first song about a year ago. Also what 'information' that I've given you suggests to you that he's straight?
Most songs are about love, so unless they are like exclusively about love I wouldn't read t ok much into it. However, I encourage you to to talk him about your feelings.
I see your point, but, in my experience, while girls almost always check out their friends' browsing history whenever possible, guys don't normally do that. @unknown18, how do you know for sure that he 'knows' that you're Bi? I wouldn't suggest that you read too much into the types of songs that he sends to you, unless they are really sappy, lovey-dovey, romantic type songs. Otherwise, he might have a crush on someone (other than you), so those could just be the kind of songs that catch his attention and when he hears something he really likes and thinks that you might also appreciate it, he just sends it to you, as well.
Yea I agree with Quantum and Myclosetisfull, the vast majorady of songs are about love so don't overthink it, but as Myclosetisfull said, I think you should probably tell him about your feelings for him one way or another, from what I've read, he seems like the kind of guy who would be cool with it if he was straight.
After school on the day that he found the porn, I told him that I was Bi. He said he didn't mind in the slightest and apologized etc
