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At the end of my rope

Discussion in 'Gender Identity and Expression' started by Foxfeather, Sep 14, 2017.

  1. Foxfeather

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2015
    Messages:
    481
    Likes Received:
    69
    Location:
    NYC
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I've got a lot of good things going for me in life, but I can't seem to get my head out of my obsession with my dysphoria. It's destroying my life inside-out and I can't stop it. I can't stop myself from identifying as a trans guy and I can't ever be satisfied or close enough to being a real man. I feel like I'm going to end up breaking down and killing myself by shotgun in a fit of anger within the next 5 years. I just don't know how to live with knowing that.. .I'm a guy who will never pass as one, will never have a body that functions like one, no matter how many surgeries or anything I get later on. I just want to be a normal guy, dating women. I never signed up for this. I seriously feel like my brain is effed up 95% of the time. I don't want to live if I can't find someone to love. I've had no luck dating and it's just been hell.
     
    Harvey Noises likes this.
  2. Eveline

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2015
    Messages:
    1,082
    Likes Received:
    34
    Location:
    home
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    A few people
    First of all, it is probably a good idea to stop telling yourself that you will never pass because honestly you simply can't know. Trans men nearly always pass because facial hair and muscle mass make it exceptionally obvious that you are a man and muscle mass can make you seem much larger than you are. You will obviously need to work out to achieve that effect but it is doable. Right now you are letting fears and inhibitions dictate your actions, you have to find a way to let go of the chains that are holding you back and find the strength needed to move forward.

    To find love we typically need to be comfortable with our bodies and confident. People are attracted to stability and predictability which means that it can be hard to establish a healthy relationship before you transition if you are trans and are aware of it. You have to be patient and when you feel more comfortable and at peace with yourself things will fall into place.

    Hugs
     
    #2 Eveline, Sep 15, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2017