I'm very confused about my sexuality. I think deep down I like girls but I'm not sure. I think I may be just trying to convince myself that I'm straight because I know that's what my parents want for me. I do find men pleasing to look at and to be friends with but the second it gets physical I feel like throwing up. At first I thought it was just because it was the wrong guy for me but no matter what guy, the second we start dating I feel repulsed by him and want to break up immediately. The only thing is that I've never dated a girl before so I can't really confirm my feelings in that regard. Any help or suggestions as to what I should do to figure things out?
You sound like a lesbian since you are repulsed by hetero relationships. You don't need to date a girl to know. I've never dated one either, and I've been officially out for 10+ years. What might help you is to just keep discussing it.
Thanks for the reply, I think you're right. I've always looked to men to find a partner but I think that's just because I feel like I have to. My parents aren't homophobic or anything, just a bit old fashioned and uneducated about the LGBT+ community and I'm scared to tell them
im currently in the same boat. though for my it was a little harder because my attitude towards being with men is more along the lines of "this sure is a thing alright, yep, its most certenly a thing."and it sounds dumb in hindsignt but i thought this was just how attraction was suposed to work.
I can totally relate. I was just sorta complacent with my feelings towards men but then the second it gets physical I'm like NOPE do not want. For a while I just kinda categorized those feelings as being nervous but I definitely don't think it's nerves
Being replused by men doesn't mean one is lesbian because not all lesbians feel that way. People can be uncomfortable around a gender for all kinds of reasons. So I don't find it the best indicator. If it doesn't feel right though that's good reason to question. I recommend exploring how you feel about girls. It could be through fantasy, checking girls out, notice if you have a type, how you feel around female friends vs male friends, or even dating. You don't have to have sex, just see what catches your eye. What draws your attention. If you have fleeting thoughts. As long as your family isn't homophobic, you stand a good chance that with education and exposure they'll adjust
Thanks for the advice Cinnamon Bunny! I guess 'repulsed' was a bit of a strong word but, for sure, something about dating men just doesn't feel right and makes me very uncomfortable. I have actually had crushes on a couple of girls but I've always been too scared to act on it or even just say anything. When it comes to my family, some them are just a little bit ignorant. My sister is really helping me through all this though, she's been very accepting
I'd say a little nervous but happy and comfortable. I feel nervous because I'm scared of what people will think but it just seems right. I tried to tell some people a while ago that I'm not straight (not really knowing exactly what but for sure not straight) and many people told me that it's a phase or that it's a really hard road to go down and asking me if I'm really sure if that's what I want for myself. I think that experience kinda scared me a little in regards to how I look at girls.
I can understand why that put you off. Don't give up though I'm sure they didn't mean it in a bad way it just sometimes people don't think about how what they say why people first come out to them my impact on the person. How old are you? You can give me a rough idea if you don't want to say exactly.
I'll be 18 in about a month. I've been thinking about my sexuality for about 5 years now but kinda pushed it down over the past 2 I'd say
Ok so you are still quite young. Don't worry I'm not saying that it's a phase and you don't know what you are. If you consider coming out do you have anyone in mind that you think you would come out to?
I was thinking my mom? It's mainly my family that I'm most worried about. I don't really mind if other people know, I just want my family to be accepting. She's not homophobic or anything and she's very accepting of other people in the LGBT+ community that she knows. I'm just nervous as to how she'll act when she finds out that I'm not straight. The last time I tried to tell her, she gave me a really long lecture about how it's a phase and I'm letting people influence me too much but that was 3 years ago and I still feel like I prefer girls
I'm glad you have support from your sister The more support you have the more courage it will give you ♡ It must be tough having your mom not validate your thoughts. My mom acts in a similar way about a lot of things. Your mom invalidating your feelings/thoughts on girls may be a bit of denial on her part to protect you or herself from tough experiences. Even if she isn't homophoic, as people we generally resist change and hardship. Though being gay doesn't have to be hard if those we love accept us. No matter what Teacup, you know better than anyone else what you experience internally. When you come out to her, be resolute on how you feel. She may still deny your feelings, but stand up for yourself. Don't argue, just calmly hold fast that you know what you feel. Sometimes parents think they know better than their adult childern. It can be difficult for them to accept you can know yourself better than they do because they've seen you grow up. But they are not you, they dont experience your inner world. So when you speak up, be confident that you know well enough that you prefer girls and what you want to do next.
I get exactly what you're saying. I feel the same way. I'm very confused with myself. I try to picture what the perfect relationship for me would be. But I'm still unsure what that makes me. What would you say your perfect relationship would be like? Do you see yourself with a girl or a guy?
Thank you so so much! You've given so much more courage! I think I'm going to tell my family soon. Maybe not this week because school is crazy right now and I just caught a cold but I feel like I can do it now
I'd say my perfect relationship would be with a girl. I can easily imagine myself being friends with men but anything more than that makes me uncomfortable. While I have no sexual experience with women, I know that I'd be perfectly comfortable and even want to have a sexual and romantic relationship with a girl. I was reading online the other day about questions to ask yourself when you're questioning your sexuality and they were very helpful, I'll link you the article: http://elitedaily.com/dating/questioning-your-sexuality/1759249/
