Going on my first ever date with a woman in a few hours!

Hey good luck I'm sure you will be great.

 

Congratulations on getting your first date with a girl, that's extremely exciting!

My biggest advice would be to simply be yourself. It's very common to want to impress the other person but from my experience it only lead to more overthinking so relax, treat her like she is a very good friend of yours, don't think about impressing her, simply ask her questions about herself, her life, what she likes & maybe mention things she has already told you about her. It's always pleasing when someone mention something I told them in passing during a previous conversation as it shows that they actually were listening and paying attention to what I was telling them. Overall the goal is to have fun and being yourself and relax is the best way to achieve that. If you have good chemistry things will flow naturally anyway.

If hugs are the norm in your country then I think it is reasonable to end the date with a hug. It's also pretty common to send a text right after the date to say you had a great time/should do it again and could she please tell you that she got home safely.

The only important thing really is being yourself as you want her to like you for you and not the person she may think you are/want you to be.

Definitely report back after your date and I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you! x

 

You are right, you are both responsible for conversation but asking questions about her likes and dislikes and hobbies and interests are always good.
You can offer to buy her drink if you want, I don't think you have to on a first date but I feel you want to then you can.
I think either of you can end the date, when that is will probably depend a little on how it is going. After you have had a drink you can either suggest another drink, or to go somewhere else if it is going well or you can leave I feel you are not enjoying it.

If you have a great time and she doesn't that is just life sometimes. It could also be that she has a great time and you don't.

The best advice is as above just be yourself. She will probably be nervous too.

 

Just because she has been on dates and had girlfriends before doesn't mean she won't be nervous.

Yeah a walk sounds like a nice idea

 

How exciting! Where did you guys meet? <3 You can do it! I love everything Linning said. That's exactly what I would suggest you do Normally it's hard to end a date when you're both having fun, but you will sense when the date's done I think. Play it by ear Has she dated women before? She'll probably take the lead if she has!

 

I agree with @silverhalo experience means very little when it comes to stress. I have been to a couple of dates with different women and I was always a bit nervous, I actually have a date planned on Friday with a new woman and I know I will be nervous too, I just cover it up by talking a lot because I very much hate awkwardness.

Regarding ending dates. I think you will naturaly both know when to end the date or when to offer to prolong it. Personally, last time I went on a coffee date with a woman, the coffee date turned into a dinner date and then into a walk and so on, we litterally met up at 2pm and ended up going back to our (respective) houses at about 11.30pm. haha so I may not be the best at ending dates in a "timely fashion" but hey, I ended up dating the girl for a couple of months, so I think that if time seems to fly for the both of you and neither of you seem to feel the need to check what time it is then it is a very good sign.

I like walks and I will always say yes to a walk, plus it could always turn into a dinner date if you just so happen to walk by a nice restaurant, ahem.

Good luck! haha

( & don't forget to spare us no details )

 

Haha, I do ask myself this exact question before every first date I have with a woman but this has yet to actually happen so I wouldn't worry too much about it. I think women like to take their time much more than men, you are also meeting for a coffee so not necessarily the timing or place/drink that increases the chances of things escalating to that level. But if she does ask, just give her the answer you want to give her, if you are having a very great time and feel in the mood to go back to her place then do so and if not then simply tell her that you would like to take things slow. I can't see a woman being offended by it.

That's what I like about dating women, how you don't have to over think things as much how you can and often do talk about topic that would be completly a "no-go zone" on a date with a man in fear of freaking them out (such as pregnancy, marriage, the future!) and how they don't see "no" as an offensive word but as a totally valid answer to a question they may ask or a request they may have.

Again, just go with the flow, who knows? You may be the one begging her to go back to yours after a coffee or two

 

You usually don't have to worry about that. If it does come up, you're also free to say "no thanks". Both parties choose what happens based on the interest and consent of the other.

 

@Linning You sound so experienced. I should ask for tips too! HAHA

@Chinaski Can't wait to hear about the details! <3 Woot, woot! I'm excited for you!

 

I agree with the above. Even if the date doesn't go on that long that doesn't mean it is definitely a bad date.

I doubt she will ask you back to hers but if she does then it's up to you. There isn't no shame in saying no, you shouldn't feel rushed into anything. If she doesn't respect that you want to take it slow then she isn't worth your time.

 

@Chinaski good luck on your date! (slightly wondering how I will entertain myself until you come back. )

@lovewine, Ah, it's funny I sound very experienced when I am not that experienced at all!

 

I will randomly share this song here: <3

 

Argh, not the update I was expecting obviously but I am so proud of you for going out there despite your aprehensions and going through with the date. Sorry this girl wasn't honest before meeting up with you, it sucks that there are people who still feel this is an okay thing to do.
Don't feel low, you got to learn a few things today and your next meet up with a girl will feel a little less scary thanks to it which is good news.
But here's a big hug from me and congratulations again on mustering up the courage to get out there and try! x

 

Hey I agree it's a shame it didn't go as everyone hoped but I think sometimes something going wrong but you realising that even if it does the world doesn't fall apart can help you when you do it again the next time.