Ok so this is a horrible story that I don't know what to make of, this happened last night and the only reason it didn't escalate further is because someone stepped in. I don't know what to make of it and I need your help. Ok, so the other night, me and my brother were in a fight over something stupid. He punched me in the gut extremely hard (i let out a yelp and it stung, but other than that I was alright,) and I slapped him on the back so hard that he started crying. I felt no emotion except anger that he tried to fight me, and I still don't feel bad for it at all. This isn't the first time I have done something like this and I'm realizing it isn't normal to feel no compassion when you hurt someone like that. I started crying for fear I might be a form of sociopath and didn't stop until I fell asleep. I don't know if there is anyone that has experienced this, and I'm pretty sure that there is something wrong with me, but i don't know if I should seek professional help, or just keep it to myself. The only people i have told are my 2 best friends, one of them being mentally ill herself. She said that it was just her rubbing off on me, but i have done things like this since before we were good friends. It is so scary to think I might be broken, but its almost scarier to think this is just who I am and there is no illness behind it. Sorry, this must sound absolutely insane, but thanks anyway.
Obviously talking to a professional can never hurt. But personally, I suspect you were just very frustrated. Practice thinking about how things affect others though, if you mentally associate things with their effect on others it teaches you to make more empathetic decisions.
You don't sound insane nor are you broken. I'm not sociopathic but I have studied about it. No one can nor should diagnose you for sociopathy other than a trained therapist in that area. It's not something easy to diagnose. Please don't scare yourself over something that may not be true. There are other things that can effect your emotions or empathy other than sociopathy. Frankly, I'm not surprised you felt nothing but anger after being attacked. Your boundaries were majorly violated. Even if you have trouble with empathy because of sociopathy, that in no way makes you insane or a bad person. A good therapist will understand this and help you deal with any fears you have. They will not treat you like a "mental" patient. Sociopathy is greatly misunderstood. People can be good, moral, and kind people and still be sociopathic. Sociopathy is only having trouble identify emotions in yourself and thus have trouble relating to others. That doesn't mean being "mental" or out of control. I would say at the least you have emotional issues, maybe anger issues, and would highly recommend you see a therapist.
I think i will go see a therapist, but telling my parents that i felt no empathy to my brother is going to be tough. Thanks for your opinions though.
Yes, I agree too. You can be a sociopath and still have a decent life. Talking to a therapist can be really good, you can express your emotions and let the pain and anger flow without judging. It doesn't matter the labels, it doesn't matter if you are a sociopath or something like that, what it matters it's how you behave, what you do.
I think you should talk to a therapist but I don't think you're a sociopath bc I've been in similar circumstances as you and I didn't really feel bad either. I thought it was more putting them in there place and teaching them it's not okay.
I don't think you really need to tell your parents the specifics, but them knowing that you'll be getting mental help should at least put them at some sort of ease.
