I know I'm not straight. But I don't know if I'm bi or gay. I actually feel like I'm 90% gay, 10% straight, but does this mean I'm bi? I feel ready to come out to friends and family, I just don't know how to identify myself.. Any advice? This confusion with labels has been the biggest thing holding me back over the past few months. I feel it would be easier to just come out as gay, but what if I end up dating a guy in the future (I'm a girl) because of that 10% of me that's still attracted to men? Any advice or personal experience would be appreciated!!!
If you feel the need to come out, then my best advice is to come out for who you really are, and don't define yourself with any particular label. You may be in a stage where you are still exploring your sexuality and that's okay. There's no rush to define yourself as gay or bisexual. Nor is there a need to fit into one of those slots. And there is no timeline as to when you have to come out to anyone. You do it when you are ready I've always believed that we are all on a continuum of sexuality and where we are on that continuum can shift over time. Today's label may not even be applicable to how you feel next week. Take your time. Your sexuality will be what it is, regardless of a label or a decision to 'be' gay or bi. Just be yourself and let your feelings guide you. It sounds like you're still struggling with this, so perhaps you're not wanting to come out so much as you need someome to confide in as you continue this journey. My best advice is to talk to someone you can trust and let them know how you are struggling with this.It can be a really liberating experience because you are coming out of hiding and building positive support for yourself. Coming out is very personal. It is a way of breaking the isolation and getting support from the people who mean the most to us. Just be open with them. Let them know where you are at in defining your sexuality and that you are on a journey of discovery. Let them know how important they are to you for you to be sharing this journey with them as you seek the answers together.
I'm aware that this might not apply to you at all, but it's just my story that you might be able to relate to (but who knows). I personally identify as a lesbian, but for a long time I called myself bisexual because I thought that I had crushes on guys. However in reality I just either recognised that they were good looking (without actually being attracted to them), or I would idolise a male celebrity, and think that this was the same as a crush. However I realised that my feelings for girls were so much stronger, and that I didn't want romantic/sexual relationships with guys, only girls (I think I mostly realised that by becoming into LGBT+ films ). Of course, you could be bisexual, or gay, or pansexual or anything really. The main thing here is that I wouldn't try too hard to put a label on anything until you're 100% sure. For example, many people assume they're straight because they're 'okay' with having relationships with people of the opposite sex, but then they realise they're gay because they become aware that their same-sex desires are actually...well, real desires. However, I believe that regardless of what your sexuality is, you should only decide to be in a relationship with someone if you're truly really happy about it. But I'd say that if you end up really liking a guy, don't be ashamed to date a guy. It doesn't mean you're 'going back into the closet', because being openly bisexual means you're out of the closet. And then if you date a girl, don't let people tell you that you've 'gone fully gay'. It's your identity and you know it better than anybody else <3
Come out as bisexual and as soon as you gave figured out what you are you can change the label. You're not stuck with a label for life. I thought I was bi-curious for a while except I knew I liked girls I wasn't sure about guys.
