Why is it so difficult for me?

Don't be hard on yourself. This is a very personal conversation to have with someone. I have been slowly telling more people, and when it comes to those I know for sure will be accepting it is still hard. I will be shaking like crazy, stumble over my words, accidentally hiccup etc.., From personal experience, they won't be worried about that. They will be happy that you told them, and they will only want happiness for you! Take your time, don't rush it. You got this!

 

I am not sure if this will help, but you can "practice". So what you do is: wait for moments where there is a loud event happening. You know like vacuuming, loud music, fast car rides with windows down so that the incoming wind makes it hard to hear everything. You know stuff like that, and then in a whispering voice you say you're coming out words. 'I'm gay" for example. Eventually you get louder and louder. You might want to try doing this alone first. Idk if this will work for you, but it really helps me feel a little more confident, although im still working on it.

 

From your own contemplation you already know what is holding you back.
Rejection is one of the strongest of human fears...

 

I came out to most of my friends while being drunk, 'cause that was the only way I deared to. But if you're really close to this person, I guess you should just take your time. Don't rush into anything. If she's supportive of the LGBT community (and I assume she is, if she's lesbian), you will grow comfortable around her. Soon enough, it will fall naturally.

 

Coming out to anyone is one of the hardest things you can ever do. The alternative is to continue living in the closet which only deprives you from a life of being open and letting people care for you. You're doing it the right way, by starting with someone who is already supportive of you and is an open lesbian. Yes it will be difficult (it always is) but I believe that by telling her, you will have an even deeper friendship with her, free of secrets. As a lesbian, she will understand your hesitancy and fear, and stay with you as you develop more confidence in yourself. It gets easier in time to open up to people.

Also, if you are still struggling with your orientation, there are a fair number of resources and support services in your area, including support groups, counselling and coffee houses.

http://www.stonewallsociety.com/westvirginiaglbtresources.htm

Let us know how you're doing.

 

I think a good place to start would be by letting her know that you have something personal to share with her. Before you go into it, let her know she is the first person you are talking to about this, let her know the reason you have chosen her is because she has always been supportive of you, that you value her friendship and her advice.

After that let it come naturally, just tell her what you've been feeling personally, how you've been struggling with it, and how you're tired of living in the closet.

The first time you're coming out to anyone is huge, so you will likely be nervous. That's natural. Just focus on what you need to say. It will get easier as the conversation progresses and she is involved.The fear goes away and you become two friends doing what friends always do: being supportive of each other.

I'm also betting she may already suspect you are gay, and has been respecting your privacy until you're ready to open up.

 

yeah...it was a good advice.

 

Glad to know, JtheCake. Most of the time, it is all in our head and nerve.
Funny that if I start to talk to someone else about my fears and they ask me so what if it happened; it usually helps to look past those fears and plan my responds if those fears do happen.

 

I'm glad it went well. It's hard to talk about something so personal even when we know the person will will accept us regardless. It's probably because we are so used to being in the closet, that it becomes a major shift in opening up to someone. We've all been there. It gets easier in time.