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I think I'm turning a corner?

Discussion in 'LGBT Later in Life' started by RJay, Aug 29, 2017.

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  1. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    Don't forget RJay the new you is in control of your destiny. You do not need V to be happy so I think you will do just fine.
     
    #141 silverhalo, Sep 3, 2017
  2. junebug99

    junebug99
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    Well maybe if you tell her you're ready to start dating she might change her mind about just being friends. Or at least she might think about it.
     
    #142 junebug99, Sep 3, 2017
  3. RJay

    RJay
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    Oh boy... I really don't think she will. But, if I keep feeling so hung up on her, I definitely have to let her know anyway.
     
    #143 RJay, Sep 3, 2017
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  4. NeonSocks

    NeonSocks
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    Are you kidding me?! This could be a great opportunity to gauge V's feelings. Tell her about the new badass friend you made while she was away. Tell her about your night with her and most of all how great you are doing.

    If you sense any signs of jealousy than you have an open door invitation to explore those feelings. If she wants to pal around with you and L than you can have a whole Sex and the City thing going on. (Granted I never watched that show so I can only base this analysis on information I picked up from friends in college).
     
    #144 NeonSocks, Sep 3, 2017
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  5. Hushhh

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    Hey rjay, I'll totally be watching this indie movie based on your journey. :slight_smile:

    Oh and I agree with telling her, I mean she will surely ask what you've been up to while she was away.

    It could be a great way to open up that you are so ready to date, and that you hoped L was gay but it turns out she is straight, 'Just like her' (with option to omit or not.lol) And how your neighborhood is full of beautiful straight blonde women, bummer. Boom! :wink:

    then maybe, just maybe, what she'd say would somehow provide some clarity or even just a hint of how she feels.
     
    #145 Hushhh, Sep 3, 2017
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  6. RJay

    RJay
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    Hey, you know what? I could use my coach's "line" on V, couldn't I? Something like, "I feel like I'm ready to start dating, but unfortunately, all the women I'm attracted to, like YOU, always turn out to be straight." Why not? If we all agreed it was a cute line to use on L, why not on V?
     
    #146 RJay, Sep 3, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2017
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  7. NeonSocks

    NeonSocks
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    Oh man, all the excitement in this thread the past few days made me just remember it's Sunday and we have another romance to check in on today.

    I am so glad I am traveling again tomorrow instead of today. I don't think I can stay away from this EC double feature! :slight_smile:
     
    #147 NeonSocks, Sep 3, 2017
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  8. zumbaqueen

    zumbaqueen
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    Do it!
     
    #148 zumbaqueen, Sep 3, 2017
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  9. RJay

    RJay
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    I really think it's perfect! I mean, definitely if she asks me out to the movies again or something like that, and I'm still getting totally overwrought in her presence, I'm gonna have to say something. This might just be the perfect thing to let her know without being too aggressive/pushy.
     
    #149 RJay, Sep 3, 2017
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  10. leb10

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    I agree!
     
    #150 leb10, Sep 3, 2017
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  11. Soundofmusic

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    shame she's straight but SO glad you got it out of the way and in the clear!!!!!
     
    #151 Soundofmusic, Sep 3, 2017
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  12. dirtyshirt84

    dirtyshirt84
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    Rjay, if you don't mind me asking how did you tell L you are gay? Just wondering how to bring up the conversation irl!

    Maybe you need to find a gaybourhood full of similar attractive women :wink:
     
    #152 dirtyshirt84, Sep 3, 2017
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  13. Searching1

    Searching1
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    Yes, do it, @RJay! And I would definitely mention meeting and hanging with your new fun friend. Who knows where it will take you! This is all too good. Thanks so much for keeping us all in the loop!
     
    #153 Searching1, Sep 3, 2017
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  14. RJay

    RJay
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    So we talked about my marriage a bit, and how narcissistic and controlling my husband was, and L told me about a friend of hers that is brilliant and has a Pulitzer prize but was with a controlling narcissist for 15 years. She told me that smart women can talk themselves into anything.

    So, that's when I said, "Well, yeah, that's incredibly true! In fact, one of the things that made me finally wake up was that 8 months ago I went through a thought process that made me realize I was always gay and just suppressed it because I really didn't WANT to be gay and it explained SO MUCH about why I stayed with my husband sooooo long. I just kept using the most obtuse logic to reason myself out of being gay."
     
    #154 RJay, Sep 3, 2017
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  15. Moonsparkle

    Moonsparkle
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    We sure can! Why I stayed with my husband so long--ugh--I was living in some delusional world that 'things will get better...'

    I read an interesting article online where the writer interviewed divorced women who admitted they KNEW it didn't feel exactly right/was a mistake when they walked down the aisle, but did it anyway. Each woman explained her reasons why. Was a great read and one that sort of uncomfortably hit home.

    Sounds like a great conversation with L!

    Just out of curiosity does your ex-husband know you are gay? Mine does, he even said he suspected I had a crush on a certain woman several years ago. Wow...I was so in denial back then that even my oblivious, notice nothing ex was clued in before me!
     
    #155 Moonsparkle, Sep 3, 2017
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  16. RJay

    RJay
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    Nope! I'm too angry with him to share intimate info like that. We didn't have a conversation for the past 6 years at least. He doesn't need to know until I'm in a relationship serious enough that our son will be talking about it. Also, he is an extreme homophobe. Once, my brother was over and said my son was so cute he'd be a ladykiller or boykiller. And later, when my ex got me alone in another room, he said, I kid you not: "I cannot BELIEVE your brother had the nerve to say that. There isn't going to be any GAYNESS in my house!" OMFG.

    And for what it's worth, I think he suspects it anyway. Probably always has because of my intense, overwrought relationships with certain friends, and definitely now with my complete change of look since we split up.
     
    #156 RJay, Sep 3, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2017
  17. idsm

    idsm
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    Well, the joke's on him... apparently :slight_smile:
     
    #157 idsm, Sep 3, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2017
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  18. RJay

    RJay
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    HAHA! Indeed.
     
    #158 RJay, Sep 3, 2017
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  19. silverhalo

    silverhalo
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    I think there is a fair chance you ex husband is gay himself.
     
    #159 silverhalo, Sep 4, 2017
  20. Moonsparkle

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    :movie_camera:.....and a new sub plot is added to the script of t I've Got it Sooooo Bad, I'm Turning a Corner: The Netflix series!:movie_camera:
     
    #160 Moonsparkle, Sep 4, 2017
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