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Girl I'm into replied "Who's this?" to my text...should I believe her or forget her

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by love23cali, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. BosiMalkia

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    I cannot even remember if you said this already but do you know her sexuality. Have you ever asked her?
     
  2. love23cali

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    The difficulty here is that I do not know for sure the outcome. I thought she wanted to be left alone but then she says she got a new phone and needed a new contact list. And there's a possibility that is the truth. I left open the possibility that I might be into her but I don't know for sure that she knows this - I never stated it.

    I never asked but I'm pretty sure she's at least bi. She was way too comfortable with me - grabbed my nipple once, would make sexual comments - one where she was threatening me with "Oh girl you know I'm a dominatrix" with both her hands wrapped around my arm - suggesting she'd do something to me. It was all in the past - several months ago.
     
    #22 love23cali, Sep 1, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2017
  3. BosiMalkia

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    Listen, I have done everything this girl has done, minus the nipple grabbing lol and I did not like the girl. Just believe what she says, just do you, and if she wants to hang out or show interest back she will. I would continue to be my awesome self and if she likes that she will start hitting you up.
     
  4. BosiMalkia

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    I'm more of a x,y,z type of person which is probably why I spared myself the agony of these types of situation. I just let people come to me.
     
  5. love23cali

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    Just figured straight girls weren't that comfortable touching women like that (nipple grabbing...also touches arms, hands and would playfully push my lower back) and making sexual comments (saying she wanted me to strip perform for her, saying she'd have me locked up in her naked sex dungeon, etc). I just can't imagine her being straight. I think she likes women sexually and perhaps only sexually.

    So your advice: give her the benefit of the doubt that she was not lying, continue on as though I never received that text and stop texting her unless she initiates it? Sounds doable.
     
  6. BosiMalkia

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    Yea, because you do not know if she was lying so just believe her. Be cool, do not act upset when around her, do not try to intentionally ignore her unless you want to. Do not bring up old stuff, just be very calm, friendly and if she wants to hang out with you or text you she will and that is when you respond, still be friendly, not expecting anything, and just enjoy getting to know people. If you get brave enough and it is a cool and relax situation, ask her what type of people she dates (women/men). And of course you would reveal yours. You shouldn't expect anything other than just getting to know new people. If it turns into something more it will but authentic versus one sided. Regardless of the fact if it didn't you wouldn't even be mad because you were just enjoying getting to know people.
     
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  7. BosiMalkia

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    Sometimes people fall out of your life and it is ok. It is all for the best in the end, all you can do, is just be honest and expect the person you are communicating with to do the same
     
  8. BosiMalkia

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    Good luck, hope it goes well. Just be awesome and you will attract awesome people.
     
  9. Sawyer

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    As someone who has been in a similar situation, right now it doesn't sound like she wants to be your friend. It sounds like she deleted your number, and if you hadn't reached out to her, she probably would have never texted you again.
     
  10. love23cali

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    I'm just getting so many mixed responses... This was my initial thought. Not sure how to act when I see her next. We do work together.

    She was obviously watching me leave yesterday and I considered my initial response to ignore her was wrong.
     
    #30 love23cali, Sep 1, 2017
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  11. Sawyer

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    Ultimately it is up to you how you want to proceed. Working together can be hard. I usually just mimic the behaviour of the person I am with (only if they are treating me bad). So if they are cold and distant, I become cold and distant. At the very least maybe keep yourself guarded and only interact in person if she does first? It's really hard to say.
     
  12. love23cali

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    I felt the need to avoid her yesterday so did for the most part. I did say hey at one point when she was beside me but it came out in a moody monotone...So she probably knows I'm upset. She wasn't there long at all.

    I'm going to see tonight if I can better determine her stance.

    I definitely overanalyze and make assumptions too early. There's a possibility I'm getting in my own head and she's not bothered by me at all. In person, interactions were just fine and it would seem she liked me. Every problem had to do with texting. Maybe she just doesn't like to be texted.
     
  13. silverhalo

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    The problem with texting is people can misread things and take things the wrong way very easily. If she is nice to you in person it is unlikely she has a problem with you in text messages, as you say maybe she doesn't much like texting.
     
  14. Poppy43

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    I think I'd just be polite and pleasant at work and stop texting her altogether.
    Theres plenty of people who are all talk and game players, it sounds to me that she's an attention seeker and a game player. She gave you all those signs she liked you then what?.. nothing.
    If shes interested then she will be asking you to do things with her and contacting you, if she bold enough to grab your bust then shes not shy.
    I think from what you said your wasting your time, I'd try to move on especially as she has a boyfriend.
    I'm sorry you are having a hard time with this, take care.
     
  15. love23cali

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    She did text me to come be her cheerleader at her softball game a few weeks ago but I didn't go and she doesn't seem to want me there anymore... didn't tell me the location when I asked to go to the next one. In fact, she sent this "who's this?" when I asked if their game was still on - I had been getting ready to go. And several months ago, she asked a couple times when I was going to come out on her boat (unsure if with her family or not). Anytime I've suggested something she was down... I mentioned horseback riding a few months ago and though she said she's terrified of horses she said "OK, yes". I ended up getting hurt and was away for two months so that didn't happen. And I asked to workout and she replied "I would love that. " but she lost interest when I mentioned she'd have to pay for a pass at my gym.. I suggested we go to hers. She ended up saying she could only workout early in the morning... When I'm still in bed.
     
    #35 love23cali, Sep 2, 2017
    Last edited: Sep 2, 2017
  16. Poppy43

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    So have you actually been out anywhere with her ever?
    If she was interested then she would spending time with you and nothing would be too much trouble. Sorry but I'd leave it and look for someone better than her.You deserve to be treated better.
     
  17. love23cali

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    Ok, but what about as friends? I'd been prepared to just be friends because she already has a family.
     
  18. Twist

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    If you want to stop getting mixed signals, you need to be direct. By that, I mean you need to tell her face-to-face that you like her and are interested in her. Doing this, you don't just get a text back but can actually SEE her response in her expression and body language as well. You then have a concrete answer and can stop stewing about this plethora of little crap and assumptions.
     
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  19. love23cali

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    All I'm trying to figure is if she wants me to leave her alone...
     
    #39 love23cali, Sep 2, 2017
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  20. Twist

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    Well, if you come right out and be honest with her face to face, you'll be able to get that answer too.
     
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