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Why me? /vent

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by kellynec, Aug 25, 2017.

  1. kellynec

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    Man this sucks so much

    I used to be only attracted to women (masturbation, real life but no sex)

    Nowadays I feel mostly gay

    Why me
     
  2. Islanzadi

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    Why not?

    Being gay is not like having cancer... It's just you. And you'll make yourself happy by being who you are.

    I don't really know what else to tell you, but maybe you should check out some threads about dealing with internalized homophobia.
     
  3. kellynec

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    Sorry I never meant to imply there's anything wrong with homosexuality

    I just want my straight self back :/

    Please, whoever gay is reading this, don't get me wrong: I don't have anything against gays :slight_smile:
     
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  4. quebec

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    kellynec....I'm really glad that you don't have anything against gays because there is a possibility that you are one. I don't mean to upset you at all...it's just that our sexuality is not something that we can change or control. Very few people are 100% straight or gay. Most of us are primarily one or the other with varying degrees of the opposite. However, some people are fluid and their sexuality can move back and forth along the gender spectrum - that may be you. There are also some folks who are non-binary (neither male nor female) and some who are agender - no gender at all. It may take some time for you to know for sure where you fit into all of this. Try to be patient and listen to your emotions/feelings/attractions. You will always be happiest if you accept what your body/mind/emotions are telling you. I tried ever so hard to be straight for a very long time, all the while knowing that it wasn't the truth. I paid a high price for that attempted deception. Don't do what I did...love and accept yourself.....David
     
  5. James3499

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    It's possible that you could be bisexual. You know researchers have said that the basis of most people's sexuality develops around age 3. Yes sexuality is fluid, but the main parts of ones orientation is developed at an early age. So maybe you've always been attracted to the same sex but you just never knew. But yet again I'm not you so I really can't tell you your sexual orientation. It's up to you to figure it out
     
  6. Twisted777

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    I find that bisexuality comes in phases.

    I occasionally feel more attracted to one gender than another, and as I've gotten older the phases have mostly smoothed out.

    My point is, you could be bi, but it's still new to you and your brain is still trying to figure out what it likes - I remember when I first accepted I was bi I had about two weeks of constantly checking out EVERY mildly attractive guy I saw.

    That all settled down and I had 'gay days' and 'straight days' - now I just have 'days', I'm attracted to whomever is hot, regardless of gender (bear in mind, this is over the course of about seven years in my case).
     
  7. kellynec

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    So are
    So are you saying that I can feel totally gay nowadays and still be bi? Since I used to be crazy attracted to women physically
     
  8. Twisted777

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    Pretty much, yeah.

    What you define yourself as is completely up to you, I'm of the understanding that nobody is completely one way or another (the fluidity of sexuality is much more commonly accepted nowadays), so it might be that you are gay and you were societally 'programmed' to like girls, but this sort of wore off when you started thinking critically about it - or maybe you're bi and you're just leaning more in one direction (this might change, it might not).

    Either way, don't worry about it. Just get used to yourself and don't worry about coming out until you're a bit more sure about your sexuality (you don't have to tell people at all if you don't want to), I'd definitely keep it to myself until I was sure and ready.
     
  9. kellynec

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    How could I be fully gay if I used to be attracted to woman? That wasn't forced, I just discovered I liked girls (porn and real life)
     
  10. Twisted777

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    Like I say, I don't think anyone is 100% gay - everyone has at least one exception.

    If you're more comfortable defining yourself as bisexual, go for it - no one's going to check (it'd be pretty weird if they tried).

    It really doesn't matter how you identify yourself, labels change, people change. Be who you are, be with who you like.