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How do you live with being single?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by MsPurpleFrog, Aug 26, 2017.

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  1. MsPurpleFrog

    MsPurpleFrog
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    I'm going through phase where I am so so so fed up of being single. I don't want to just settle for anyone, but I am really missing closeness, of being special to someone, of loving them. I've tried the main lesbian dating app, but no one on there has caught my interest. The girls I have liked recently have all flaked out on me - and I'm feeling like I've had enough!

    Anywho...feeling a little sorry for myself right now - and just need to find a way of feeling at peace with it.

    So how do you live with being single?
     
    #1 MsPurpleFrog, Aug 26, 2017
  2. Creativemind

    Creativemind
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    Happily. I dislike being in relationships (for the most part), so it works for me. I also can enjoy a relationship that is truly good, so I'm willing to wait until I find a compatible match.

    If you want to change your singlehood, it does require effort...but It's a lot harder if your dating pool is already small.
     
    #2 Creativemind, Aug 26, 2017
  3. Samthing

    Samthing
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    Honestly I try to distract myself with other stuff, make myself busy all the time, surround myself with people so I don't feel alone. That sort of thing
     
    #3 Samthing, Aug 27, 2017
  4. Humbly Me

    Humbly Me
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    The same way you did before your first relationship?
     
    #4 Humbly Me, Aug 28, 2017
  5. silverhalo

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    Aww I'm sorry you are feeling a bit fed up with it. Have you looked to see is there are. Any lesbian meetups near you? It might not bring relationship potential but you never know.
     
    #5 silverhalo, Aug 28, 2017
  6. RedTrekkie95

    RedTrekkie95
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    Hi MsPF,

    I am quite new to being openly gay, but in recent years I've been desperate for the same closeness you're longing for. It's difficult not having anyone to rely on emotionally. But as I am not in the position to find someone at the moment, I have to settle for the closest alternative, which is to spend time with friends. I have quite a few platonic gay friends I've met in a support group, and I see them on a weekly basis. This really helps me to overcome my loneliness, even though it's not what I'm looking for exactly.

    Do you have a LGBT centre in your area, they may offer support/ befriending groups. Also if you have a gay bar nearby (but not a darkroom kind of place) you could meet some interesting people, and who knows it could turn into more.

    Hope you can find a way to sort your problem out. Good luck and take care!
     
    #6 RedTrekkie95, Aug 28, 2017
  7. mlansing

    mlansing
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    I think it helps to pursue a passion that doesn't involve dating and that gives back to you what you put into it. And who knows, in pursuing your passion you just might meet that special person.
     
    #7 mlansing, Aug 28, 2017
  8. MsPurpleFrog

    MsPurpleFrog
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    Thanks guys - I am blessed with a good friendship circle with lots of queer friends, have hobbies I'm passionately committed to, and been to meetups. It's through those I've met the girls I have dated - it's just none of them have worked out! But I'll keep trying - there must be someone out there willing to put up with me :slight_smile:
     
    #8 MsPurpleFrog, Aug 28, 2017
  9. silverhalo

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    Aww I'm sure you have many great qualities you just haven't found the right girl yet.
     
    #9 silverhalo, Aug 28, 2017
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  10. MsPurpleFrog

    MsPurpleFrog
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    Thanks Silverhalo, I'd like to think so! Been asked to be at a number of family functions recently, and they keep on saying "and you can bring your partner too, if you have one by then"... which is nice, I guess! :thinking:
     
    #10 MsPurpleFrog, Aug 28, 2017
  11. silverhalo

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    Yeah that's definitely a good thing even if occasionally it reminds you you don't have one. It will be worth it when you find her :slight_smile:
     
    #11 silverhalo, Aug 28, 2017
  12. Sawyer

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    MsPurpleFrog,

    I totally get where you are coming from. After the end of my last relationship, I was single for quite a long time. The first two years of being single (after being in a relationship for 3 years), was easy, but then in the 3rd year I began to want a proper, healthy relationship. I ended up putting myself out there again and went on dates that were a one and done. It took some time to find the right person. I would say don't get too discouraged. Eventually you will find someone who is looking for the same things as you.
     
    #12 Sawyer, Aug 29, 2017
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  13. MsPurpleFrog

    MsPurpleFrog
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    You've hit the nail on the head. My last full-on relationship was pretty dire for both sides, and it was pretty unhealthy - and I really don't want end up in that kind of relationship again.
     
    #13 MsPurpleFrog, Aug 29, 2017
  14. Dylan1357

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    I wouldn't mind getting into a relationship now but I know I won't so I couldn't care less :expressionless:
     
    #14 Dylan1357, Aug 29, 2017
  15. silverhalo

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    Why do you know you won't? It sounds like you would like to?
     
    #15 silverhalo, Aug 29, 2017
  16. Dylan1357

    Dylan1357
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    I'd like to I'm just being cynical and I don't know anyone else whose gay and my age in my town.
     
    #16 Dylan1357, Aug 29, 2017
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  17. silverhalo

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    Never say never though, I mean maybe not now but who knows who you will meet in the future.
     
    #17 silverhalo, Aug 29, 2017
  18. Dylan1357

    Dylan1357
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    I guess your right
     
    #18 Dylan1357, Aug 29, 2017
  19. resu

    resu
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    I should say that I have been single most of my life, and I am usually an introvert. I try to always be learning or doing something I enjoy, usually hobbies, plus listening to music and watching films/tv.

    Also, it really helps to do things with friends or groups/clubs/organizations. I go to a pottery class most Monday evenings not because I need to but because I get to interact with fellow artistic people. Within the last year, I started going to independent films by myself, which was fun because often there are only a few people in the theater, so it feels like we are getting a sneak peak.

    Finally, I will say that while all these things may seem like a lot of work, they will make you a more interesting person when you go for dates.
     
    #19 resu, Aug 29, 2017
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  20. lovewine

    lovewine
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    It's all a matter of perspective. :slight_smile: I used to be like that, though yes until now there are times when I miss having to take care someone. However, I've been enjoying being single a lot lately--appreciating the alone time, discovering new things to do, etc. Try new things just to keep you buys and keep you interested in life. You will eventually meet someone by going out on your own and discovering new hobbies :slight_smile:
     
    #20 lovewine, Sep 3, 2017
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