How to keep OK mental health in this situation?

I want to preface this by saying I know that some other people have it worse than me on this forum, so I don't mean to sound like I'm looking for sympathy, even though I can imagine that is how this post might come across.

I guess I'm just wondering how to not get depressed about my situation. I'm not out to my family because they're transphobic (I made a post about them a while ago), and I know that when/if I do come out to them, it will really significantly damage my relationship with them, as well as probably their relationships with each other. I will really really let them down. I have supportive friends and teachers but I fear that I am letting them down by not making more progress with my transition, and I worry about being a burden to my teachers because I always go to them for emotional support. I have no plans to begin physical transition and don't see how I can make plans to do so without coming out to my family first. I can't picture my future because there is so much that could go wrong relating to my gender and my family. I can't face the idea of being closeted in future, but don't think I'm ever going to be strong enough to come out to my family.

As negative as I sound like I'm being about all this, the weird part is that I'm quite successfully managing to not think about it all that much, and am pretty happy for the most part. I'm worried that I won't be able to hold on to this because I know that if I start to really feel the emotional weight of my situation I won't be able to cope.

Can anyone relate/offer advice?

 

Okay, thank you. I will perhaps try that if my parents seen in a relaxed mood, I don't know. It would certainly be a good idea to try and make plans of some sort, so thank you. And I'm glad to at least know you can relate! Good luck.