I was disowned today.

i just dont get that. im a parent if my kid came to me and said he was a different gender i'd still love them. support them, be their parent. i mean really what the fuck?! all i can offer from here is ((HUGS))

ps, have you talked to your mom, would she be onside?

 

*hug*
This is as much as I can offer.

It's good you're seeing the therapist. It helps a lot in such crisis situations. Speakimg from experience.

 

Well even if it sounds like platitudes, we are here for you. Please keep us informed.

 

Oh, Alec. I'm so sorry. *hugs*

 

*hug and virtual kitten that purrs*

 

I am so sorry for you, man.

About psychological issues: We are all here for you. Maybe look into LGBT network.

In the end you made the right choice. Never forget that.

 

(((HUGS))) I'm so sorry! We are all here for you - please keep checking in, OK?

 

I'm glad to see that you are using the resources that are at your college. I'm really sorry that you are going through this though. Maybe with time they will see the error of her ways, but that will take a lot of time most likely. At least you are not in the house and having to handle this.

 

I'm so sorry. All you can do at the moment is continue to press forward and seek support from those who understand what you're going through. Like others have said, it may seem dark right now, but it's certainly possible that your dad just needs some time to process the situation and will eventually come around and accept you for who you really are. Sending a virtual hug and lots of good vibes your way!

 

I'm sorry buddy....*hugs*

 

Honestly, this is my worst fear. I'm sorry this happened to you, and I hope things get better soon! * hugs *

 

Oh my god, that's terrible that he would do that. I'm so, so sorry that this happened to you. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. *HUGS*

 

I've spent the last few hours thinking of what to write you, I know there is little I can do to ease the sense of loss that you feel. Unfortunately, when we lose someone close to us, we lose a part of ourselves that can only be healed by filling in the gaps left behind which takes time. That's the nature of mourning and grief. It feels as if you are broken and lost, a dark and endless emptiness deep inside.

As far as I can understand, there are two ways to cope, you can reach out to the world around you, keep yourself busy and try to fill in the gaps by creating new bonds and connections with the people around you. The second way is to look inside and go through a period of introspection that manifests as depression. You try to expand on your understanding of the past and give new meaning to everything that you've been through and by doing that you are able to replace the broken memories with a new narrative, that of your own.

I shared this with you because I know that it helped me to understand this process when I coped with loss in the past, it helped to know that what I am experiencing is shared by others. That others have somehow coped with the pain and darkness, have cried like I did and felt the almost unbearable sadness that engulfed me at the time and suffocated me, it helped to know that they went through all of this and somehow survived.

This is your journey, your life to live and story to tell, I hope that in time you will find the strength to create for yourself the life you dreamed of, the life you deserve, full of happiness and fulfillment. My heart is with you and if you ever need to talk I'm here for you.

Much love,

Eveline

 

I'm so sorry to hear this happened to you. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself, though. I don't really have any advice, as my own experiences with parental disappointment are... rather intense. I just wanted to put my mark here to let you know you're heard and lend my voice to those giving support.

 

Been there, but my homophonic dad told me to my face that I'm not to speak with him again. I'm glad someone is there for you, and I'm also glad you are reaching out to a therapist, that's probably something I should've done.

 

I'm very sorry to hear about this Alec and I'm even more sorry that he chose to do it in a voicemail message. I know you will be hurting right now and your mind will be racing with all sorts of thoughts and feelings, but you don't need to face it alone (and you mustn't). I'm pleased you have availed yourself of support at college and it's good that you intend to work through this. I hope we can help too.

Your father's reaction was unkind, but I know you expected some level of hostility. Even though you couldn't anticipate precisely how he would react, you didn't expect it to go well and I hope on some level there has been a degree of mental preparedness for this day. At this stage it's perhaps too painful to tap into those resources and make sense of anything, but maybe when the dust settles you'll be in a place where you can begin to work on a coping strategy with your therapist.

I said that your mind will be racing with all sorts of thoughts and feelings, but I can confidently say that your father's mind will be racing too and he needs to come down from the anguished position he's in right now. It may take some time for that to happen, but when he gets there you may discover a window of opportunity for more rational discussion. At this stage, everything is irrational on his side and he's reacting from a place of great fear. In the meantime, you should do whatever is necessary to build your own resilience and improve your position. College presents you with a level of freedom that you haven't previously enjoyed and it's a stepping stone to a more independent future where you can be the person you want to be. Keep that at the front of your mind as you work through the difficult days and weeks ahead.

Sending hugs from afar.