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I think....????

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Wolf123, Jun 30, 2017.

  1. Wolf123

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    I have known one of my friends since last year. In the beginning, I had a crush on her and stayed away. Then she wanted to hang out and be friends. Before, I just texted her and we worked together too. She would take my side when things were going poorly and I did the same for her. I ended up leaving the job where we both worked and she is the only one from that job I have kept in contact with.

    We would hang out and find more things to do...... I would ask her to hang out and she would most of the time say yes. We would talk about the week and just random things. As time has progressed, I have grown to like her more. I went with another friend to a park and she asked me about my day. I explained that we had gone to a specific park and her response was that why didn't I let her know I was on her side of town. I made a joke out of it and she responded by saying she was just teasing me. She just wished I would have said something since she was at that same park at the same time.

    When we haven't talked for a bit she will message me to see how my life is going and I will do the same to her. I invited her to go with a friend and I somewhere and she enjoyed her time. I mentioned about doing it again and she said possibly. I asked her the day before the event and she said maybe. The day when the event was occurring I got a surprised text from her saying she was heading to the event and bringing other friends too. When we were there, she teased me about not wanting to hug her saying she never has gotten a hug from me. Thing is I want to hug her so badly....I just know if I do she will know my feelings because I wouldnt want to let go of her so to avoid it and stay friends I stay away from hugging or touching her. I have told her I used to have a crush on her and the truth is my fondness of her is growing the more we hang out. I mentioned about buying a camera and she said oh yeah we can explore.....It caught me off guard. After hanging out she was excited for me to see her new place too and it was very difficult for me since we were alone. I mentioned my birthday and she came to the party too.

    My friends mentioned about us coming to the event again and she was like looks like we are going again. Her roommate and other friend invited me to their house to play a game. We played the game and I had to keep myself from staring at her. I luckily had a hat on so when I looked she hopefully didnt notice and when I was looking and she looked at me I hurried up and looked away before she would notice. All I wanted to do was look in her eyes. I told her I had a crash on her before and even thanked god she was straight, but its difficult right now..... I want to be around her more and more.

    My venting...... any advice
     
  2. silverhalo

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    I'm not sure I have any great advice. You know for sure she is straight right?
     
  3. TJ

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    I know it's tough when you've got a crush on one of your close, straight friends. It gets even harder when you hang out all the time too. Super frustrating haha.
    I've found that the best way to deal with it is to just accept the fact that, as long as your friend says she's straight, she's straight, and crushing on her is pointless. It'd be disrespectful to your friendship to try and make it anything more than a friendship without communicating honestly with her about it. Don't read too much into little actions by your friend; it's too easy to see what you want to see.

    Hope you can get through it. I know that situation is annoying. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  4. Wolf123

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    I have limited talking to her as much.....I still talk to her, but at this time limiting interaction so I can get passed the feelings. Doing things in a group right now to limit time alone. Thank you everyone who replied.
     
  5. Wolf123

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    Update:
    We hung out and it got a little strange. She jokingly said not to try and hold her hand when I brushed up against her when we were walking. I got frightened and kept my distance.
    The next day I expressed that I was uncomfortable when she stated that to me regarding holding her hand and she apologized, but then added that she felt she couldn't be herself around me comfortably because she felt scared to offend me. I explained to her that if I was offended by her, I would express it as I was doing with expressing my discomfort before. After that I felt a little hurt and wanted to push her away because I am trying to control the feelings I have for her.

    Anyways, a group of us hung out and she sat by me which yes I enjoyed, but found it difficult when I wanted to be closer to her. I would get close and then move back. One of her friends jokingly drew a picture of me and forgot to put my eyes in it; all I wanted was to use the pen she had and I kept trying to grab it from her and she kept trying to keep it away from me. As I tried to grab the pen out of her hand, I felt a sense of myself wanting to hold onto her hand. When I wouldn't let go because of I wanted the pen, she started joking saying that she knew I was ticklish and yeah so she started laughing and poking me in the side to get me to stop. What was strange is I think her friend was recording it because her phone was up and focused on us.... that part was strange.
    At the end of the get together, I wanted so badly to hug her but I know my issue is shes a friend and I have to remind myself that. I expressed over the phone I wanted to hug her, but was unsure of how to approach the hug and she said we could do it next time.

    This is rough, especially when plans keep getting made for us all to hang out.

    Its strange because with her when she expressed her feelings I want to listen. I want to hear what she has to say. I pay attention when she walks into the room. It's getting stronger when I hang out with her and honestly, this last time I was so energetic that I knew in someways I was flirting in someways.
     
  6. silverhalo

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    Aww I know it's tough but I think it will get easier. It's great that you have been able to be open and honest about when each of you feel uncomfortable. If you can both keep being honest like that it will get better.
     
  7. Wolf123

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    I am trying. I feel at times I am self conscious on how to act. If I joke around then I am flirting and its noticeable. I think her friends are picking up on it too which makes me even more nervous.
     
  8. silverhalo

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    Yeah it's tricky. Just keep taking the deep breaths. Just try and be the same way with her that you are with your other friends and try not to over think it.
     
  9. Wolf123

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    It ended.
     
  10. silverhalo

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    Do you want to talk about it?
     
  11. Wolf123

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    I keep trying to figure it out.
     
  12. silverhalo

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    Do you want to tell us what happened so maybe we can help you figure it out?
     
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