my gf beat me up and idk what to do..

Okay first of all what you said to her was out of line and you need to apologize. Second of all if she hit you there is a good chance she will do it again if things ever escalate. It's probably best that you to don't get back together.

 

So youre verbally abusive and she's physically abusive. Stay away from each other. That's the nicest way I will put it.

 

Sadly I can't even pick a side here....one party is emotionally abusive, the other physically. Legally, what she did would be seen as worse, but you were definitely in the wrong and should never have done what you did.

 

I agree it's bad that she beat you up. But what you said was so low I couldn't promise I wouldn't do the same. I mean she probably was just so hurt that you would say something like that after being together for 3 years and didn't know what to do but react. If you are sincerely sorry I don't see why y'all couldn't get back together. But an apology is nessecery and u should never cross that line again or you already know what will happen.

 

What you said was pretty bad. But there is no excuse for your girlfriend beating you up. It doesn't matter if she apologises and says it won't happen again because it will and it could be even worse next time. You can hurt her with your words but she could kill you with her fists. Apologise for what you said and break up you are better off without each other.

 

1) Emotional/verbal abuse like what you dolled out COULD have had your girlfriend committing suicide. You need to let that soak in and remember that such assaults are extremely dangerous.

2) Physical abuse is also obviously wrong, but IMO? What you did is equally as wrong. Two wrongs don't make a right.

As I feel about all abusers, I personally don't think either of you are suited to be in a relationship with each other, or anyone else.

 

Both of you are in the wrong, sorry. I'm sure that she feels similarly, about how you don’t feel like you should just forgive and move on quickly - probably best to talk it out and take some time from each other, best case breaking up. Doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all for something that petty to cause abuse to start emerging from the cracks.

 

I agree with all the others. What you said was uncalled for and downright cruel. And that over some pics on Instagram? I don't think that's all there is to it though. Problems that remain unresolved, build up over time and then one day explode over something as simple as comments on Instagram pictures. As an outsider, I think you are secretly insecure of your relationship, and that is why the comments bothered you so much.

I think the best would be - for BOTH of you - to break up and move on. If you said something hurtful once, you'd say it again, and if she beat you up once, the second time will possibly be worse. So avoid repeats of this by breaking up and not contacting each other again. In my opinion, you deserved the punch because you said some very hurtful things that hit close to home. I'm bipolar too, and have also been depressed and tried to commit suicide. It's no joke. It hurts people close to you, so I don't blame her for reacting the way she did after what you've said about her mother. Not cool.

 

Also, to add on how wrong this is...if you tell someone to kill themselves, and they actually DO commit suicide afterward, you can be charged and go to prison as if it were a regular murder charge.

So although what she did was super fucked up, both actions could seriously have had legal consequences and have destroyed lives. I know the person who commits physical violence is usually demonized in society more, but I can't honestly say that verbal abuse should be let off easy, either. What she did was wrong, but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing if I was attacked in such a cruel, heartless manner.

 

No, you can't just blame her. If she killed herself over your comment, you would be sitting in prison right now. Like I said above, It's illegal to tell someone to kill themselves if they actually end up doing it. Ever hear of Michelle Carter? She encouraged her boyfriend to kill himself, he did it, and now she faces criminal charges.

IMO, emotional abuse is a lot worse than physical abuse is. I've had a black eye before, and yet I'm recovered from it a couple of days later. My sister has punched me in the mouth multiple times when we were teens, and I even bled from it.....but we're still best friends to this day. However, when I was emotionally and verbally abused by my father, the trauma and pain lasted for over ten years and affected every part of my life.

I normally don't victim blame, but I feel way more sorry for the girlfriend in the situation. Like the saying goes...don't do the crime if you can't do the time. A black eye is a minor consequence compared to the trauma she might have felt, or the jail time you might have got if it went sour.

 

What you don't get is that your words weren't just an "insensitive comment". They were VERBAL ASSAULT and EMOTIONAL ASSAULT. Both of which could have ended in you in prison if she'd actually killed herself (or does in the near future).

Just because your bruises are visible, and hers aren't, doesn't mean her damage isn't as bad (or even worse) than your own. Stop casting stones and own up to your own actions.

 

Against my better judgement, I am going to go ahead and add my two cents here. I understand you are upset and you are entitled to your feelings. However, and this is a big However, I don't think there is a right party in this situation. I get it sometimes your emotions get out of control during a heated argument, but telling someone you love to go kill themselves (especially someone that is the child of a suicide victim) is more than verbal diarrhea. I get it you made a mistake, but the thing is life has consequences and sometimes we have to learn from these and move on.

As for your girlfriend, I agree that physical abuse is not the answer either- but honestly I cannot say that I fault her much here either. I have to imagine that she was incredibly hurt and her emotions got the better of her as well.

I am a survivor of sexual assault and my partner is a survivor of a mother who was physically and verbally abusive. So I get it. Emotions suck and sometimes they get the better of us, but part of being an adult in a HEALTHY relationship is learning to deal with those emotions and not using them as an attack weapon against the ones we love.

I don't mean to preach or bitch to you, but sometimes advice is tough to get.

 

This and all of this... You both crossed a line you shouldn't have. You both need to cool down and apologize to each other. I would also suggest couples therapy to work thru both of your short comings if the two of you are serious about continuing the relationship.

 

I'm going to have to agree with everyone else here as well. I understand that when we get upset and heated, we lose sight of our words and actions in the moment. However, between the physical and verbal/emotional abuse, I feel that you both were in the wrong on this one. Just like she should watch her actions, you might want to be mindful of your words...I'm not saying this to preach or tell you how to act, but I think your comment may have only exacerbated the situation. Honestly, if someone said that to me about my mother, I probably would pound their ass too. Neither of you are bad people for what you said/did, but it's hard to bounce back from something like this in a relationship. While I agree that working through the situation and making amends is a good idea, it might be time to evaluate whether or not the two of you really are good for each other...destructive relationships can be a dangerous thing. I wish you both the best of luck, and I hope that you two can make amends and move forward from this situation; I know it's not an easy situation to be in.

 

Think this whole incident started over something trivial and there are obviously insecurities in your relationship, therefore this could definitely happen again and both of you were in the wrong you being verbally abuse and her physical I think you are better off apart before someone gets really hurt

 

Both of you have committed realistically unforgivable violations of another. I know it hurts to be beaten up (obviously being a martial arts student and a less than tough looking male child; I have literally been run on by people before.), but physical pain, as long as there is no permanent injury (if she permanently blinded an eye that would be something else entirely), is nothing compared to what being emotionally abandoned, betrayed, and insulted by someone you love feels like (trust me, been there also, and I doubt most people escape this in their life) which is a permanent wound that never really leaves, it just scars over. However, I do think you do have the point towards you that being beaten by someone you love is also an emotional violation in a sense, and it is perfectly arguable in court to have someone imprisoned if they cause another to commit suicide by domestic abuse (though I suspect they would receive less jail time because it would probably only be manslaughter or non-premeditated in the eyes of the law as long as they never said for that person to commit suicide). So both of you have emotionally violated each other in essentially unforgivable manners, and it's up to you to both decide to forgive each other or leave and not date each other ever again, or even talk ever again.

 

What you said was cruel, vindictive and hurtful in ways that probably no one else in her life could match. The fact that you said this, even in anger is inexcusable. Her abuse may have been physical, but yours was emotional and specifically targeted, especially given her background. And to do that to someone you are supposed to care about (or anyone, for that matter) is vicious, make no mistake. And had your GF then taken her life, you would have been in serious trouble, and could you really cope with the fact that your direct instruction could have ended her life?

That being said I am of the opinion that physical violence is NEVER acceptable as an outlet for anger. In self defense or to protect someone, perhaps, but not because someone said something that hurt you. No matter how malicious. Personally, I have to say I am shocked at how many posts are passively condoning this aspect of the incident to varying degrees, but I suppose that is beside the point.

I do not think you two belong in a relationship. If you felt it was acceptable to say such things as you did in the heat of the moment, you will do so again. The same goes for your GF and the physical violence. I think you both need to do some serious self reflection on how you deal with conflict, because in my view, BOTH of you are at fault here. And as much as this might be hard to hear, I don't think this will (or should) work out.

 

Hmm, usually when one partner attacks another, it's not the only and last time. I don't think two people who abuse one another should be in a relationship together. Unless you want to go through the same things on-and-off for the next few months, years, etc.

It takes a mature and strong person to handle a bipolar partner with lots of baggage. Perhaps ask yourself why you were so upset at someone commenting on an Instagram pic? It can only lead to more problems down the road to overreact.