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Work/life advice needed!?!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by GArchi1992, Aug 17, 2017.

  1. GArchi1992

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    Firstly, I want to open this thread by saying Hello!

    I have taken some time out of posting, but lately I have rediscovered my love for this forum. So hey guys, I'm back!

    Now that we've got that out of the way. I was just really looking for some impartial advice from lovely people like yourselves. So heres my predicament:

    Recently I have found myself working a job that I loathe, loathe to the point of not ever wanting to step foot in the office again. I am relatively new to the role and while at first I was enthusiastic I have now come to the conclusion that I was naive and looked beyond the overpowering yet fragmented team of managers.

    Recently I have found myself taking blame for others mistakes and have had unnecessary pressure applied on me to rectify these. I have spoken to more senior members of staff who have told me they don't envy the position I am in at the moment - yet nothing is being done to make it slightly easier for me to do my job properly.

    Recently I have found myself feeling extremely anxious, temperamental and overall not a nice person to be around. I've never felt like this before and all I can put it down to is the job. I have been to the doctors today as I've been suffering from night sweats and sleeplessness over the past few weeks - all stress related.

    Now for the predicament - I'm pretty certain that I want to leave my current job and I want to do it quickly and as pain free as possible. I am contracted to provide them with 4 weeks notice, which I am willing to do if it means getting myself out of a horrible situation. However, I currently don't have a back up. Although I have been searching for work, nothing suitable has arisen so far.

    So I'm wondering...Do I just be reckless, hand my notice in and hope that within 4 weeks I find myself another job with the risk of becoming unemployed?

    OR

    Do I play it safe, keep looking for a new job and hold off handing my notice in until I have another job fully accepted and confirmed in writing? This could be months, right?!

    The latter is my preferred option but I'm not sure how much longer I can cope with it. Maybe I'm just being a wimp, but this has really started to consume my life now, work wise and personal.

    If you have made it this far through the thread, then thank you for taking the time to read my issues. Any advice you may have then please offer it up, maybe you have found yourself in a similar situation and if so how did you deal with it?

    I hate to make posts like this, I usually try to stay positive and keep smiling, but right now I don't feel positive or smiley about the not too distant future :frowning2:

    Once again, thank you for reading!

    Gareth :slight_smile:
     
  2. mnguy

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    Hey I'm sorry you're in that shitty situation and I know how miserable it is. I guess it depends on how much your living expenses are, how much money you have saved, how many jobs are available that you'd be interested in and qualified for, etc. How much of your expenses can you eliminate or drastically cut? Live with family, get a roommate, find someone looking for a roommate. Stop eating out and be smart about what food you buy to cook yourself. Look into frugal living, Mr. Money Mustache is a great blog.

    Anyway, that's all if you decide to quit w/o a job lined up, but also good to live efficiently so you don't need to make so much money, maybe even a part-time job would cover expenses and then you have more time for life or an income hobby. We're so indoctrinated to thinking we have to work full time, but I'd rather work less, spend less and have more freedom. One positive for you in the UK is you'll have healthcare if you're not working for a while, in case you need it.

    Keep looking for a new job and until you find one do your best to not take the bs of this job personally. Be reliable and do what you can, but recognize what is out of your control, not your fault and let go of feeling bad for those things. Keep asking for help. Try mindfulness and meditation. I let the stress of the job contaminate my whole life and that didn't help since I felt like shit even when not at work. Leave it at work as much as possible so you can be clear and focused on finding another job and enjoying your time outside of work. Easier said than done, I know. Depression and anxiety was also hurting me badly which made work seem even worse.

    I wish you the best luck finding something better and staying sane until then. I read a bunch of stuff on tinybuddha.com and possibilityofchange.com about toxic jobs and mindfulness. Take care!
     
  3. Tallen

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    Maybe the doctors will put you on an anxiety pill temporarily to take the edge off until your circumstances can change. I lost my father to colon cancer and then found out my mom had terminal heart disease which kind of through me over the edge, I spent several thousand dollars in testing only to find out that stress was causing me physical & emotional distress. The pill helped a lot.

    To quit a job with out some sort of financial stability could cause you even more harm if you don't find a job right away. I would take a pill, look for a job with a goal to quit both the pill and my old job when a new door opens.
     
  4. SemiCharmedLife

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    Start putting out applications now. Sometimes just knowing those are out there can help make your current job suck a little less.

    How long have you been at your current job? Is this your first job in the field or have you worked other places before? Are there people there who would be willing to give you a good recommendation (people other than your bad managers)? How in-demand is your skillset?

    Those are all things to consider before leaving without another position lined up. You don't want to give the impression of sour grapes or being entitled to a potential new employer. And you want to make sure you can find something else relatively easily.

    Take it from me. I'm a recruiter. Happy to talk more if you like!
     
  5. ladmk

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    hi

    I know exactly how you feel, I was in that position earlier this year, let me give you a bit of background, I left my last job because I was getting bullied by my boss and handed my notice in without anything to go to. I found my current job a week before I left, this was great and the idea of working from home was appealing. But then after worjing for the company for 8 months I was still not getting the training or the support I was asking for and this was casing me to stress and make myself ill. I was signed off for 2 weeks and in that time I started looking for another role.

    What I would recommend is do the bare minimum at work so that you can then use your breaks and lunch to go through all the job apps and apply for everything even if you dont have any experience as it helps you get your foot in the door as they may think you are suitable for something else, I have found something different now which I am just waiting for a start date, it is a major drop in money but for my health and sanity I need to do it.

    I hope this helps

    Adam
     
  6. Shorthaul

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    Start looking yesterday, cause life is to short to loath getting up and going to work. I have worked for terrible people and the stress relief from giving them 2 weeks notice is one of the best things in the world... Though to be fair a couple of times it was just the middle finger and walk out that very day.

    Working for a good boss makes even shit jobs good jobs. Which I can also speak from experience, as I used to pick up and haul garbage. One boss was awesome and even thought it is not a glamorous job, he always had our back and treated us all with respect. Another boss in a different location was the opposite, it would have been nice to toss him out with the trash.

    I don't know the job market of the UK, but I would think there should be some websites you could post resumes on and let the internet help you find a job. I used a site just for truck drivers and found a pretty solid job, it did take a few months before this job came up. But it was worth the wait for sure.

    Do hang in there while looking and stay professional at all times.
     
  7. junebug99

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    Hi! No sense staying in a job that makes you anxious. I did that for 3 years and it made me miserable. Staying on until you find another job is hard in those situations. But it's practical. I eneded up starting my own business. And I've never been happier. Good luck. I hope you find a job that you love soon.
     
  8. QueerTransEnby

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    Gareth, long time no see. I echo the other comments of toughing it out until you find something else. Not what you want to hear, but it is the best especially if you have no other financial support.

    By the way, this site is much more mobile friendly now.