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Help on Coming Out

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by larryo99, Aug 16, 2017.

  1. larryo99

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2017
    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Missouri
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I am having trouble coming out, I am a senior in high school and i feel like i should be true to myself and enjoy my senior year the way I should. Instead I have been stressing and feeling anxious about doing it because I am not sure of the reaction I am going to get. I have friends of both genders, the males tend to show acceptance towards lgbt but don't act the same I guess. I just need help bringing it up into conversation. I know I am bisexual, earlier on I have been asked about my sexuality but I always denied it because I was afraid of what people would say or think about me. I feel like I wouldn't be taken seriously if I come out as bisexual.
    Most importantly how do I tell someone I love that I am bi. I have been dating a girl for 8 months now, have been getting to know each other for a year apart from those months and I feel like she is perfect for me and the one I see myself having a future with since we happened to want to go to the same college. I am her first bf and I have met her parents and friends and so on. All my friends know her and such but I never told her that I was bi when I met her because at the time I was reluctant to identify myself as that. So I am beating myself over it trying to tell her and just not sure how she would react. If i can't tell my close friends then I just don't know how I can do it or a way to bring it up.
     
  2. PennyT

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2016
    Messages:
    145
    Likes Received:
    13
    Location:
    Alabama, US
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I was in a similiar position last year. I was afraid to tell anyone because I didn't know how they would react. People, regardless of what they say they believe, are unpredictable. My dad, who was not really pro-LGBT+, was very supportive. My sister, who claims to be LGBT+, was not initially supportive and took awhile to get used to it. None of my friends, even the conservative ones, seemed to care.

    What helped me was staring into the mirror and saying "I'm gay" while making eye contact with myself. It made it more real, and it came off more naturally when I was coming out.

    If you're going to do it, come out to the easiest person. If you know someone who is queer in some way, or is an uber ally, or is just too nice to be a jerk, they're a great place to start. They can help you with the next person. If they do not react well, I'd recommend immediately telling the next supportive person on your list before that negative person either outs you or makes you lose your confidence.

    With your girlfriend, it is up to you if you're going to tell her, obviously, but it'll probably come out (heh) at some point, especially if marriage is on the table. It might be a good test of your relationship. If she can't accept you being bi, something you have no control over, you've got bigger problems in your relationship.

    It might take some people some time, even those that really love you, but remember that that's their problem, not yours. If you do decide to come out, don't sacrifice your mental health for someone's intolerance.

    Hopefully something in there helped. Good luck! :slight_smile: