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I have no idea how to respond.

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by OrinocoFlow, Aug 13, 2017.

  1. OrinocoFlow

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    Gender:
    Male (trans*)
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    I've been trying to build up the confidence to come out about my identity to more of my friends. I knew uncomfortable responses were bound to happen, but it's still dumnfounding.. An example would be one of my close friends. We go way back and talk about a lot of personal stuff. I felt that since we're so close, it would be right to tell him how I've felt about myself.

    At first he sounded super supportive and mentioned he knows other people like me, etc.. But then he continues to say, "You are beautiful the way you are and I support you, but you will always be 100% woman to me." (this was summarizing his statements- lets just say he really made that point clear). I did not know how to respond and I have been silent about it since. It felt weird having him tell me this... I know he means well, but I don't think he knows the impact of his words. It doesn't help that he's pretty ignorant about the lgbt+ community.

    How should I respond? I don't just want to break off my friendships due to this.. but I also want to be taken seriously and respected about this.
     
  2. silverhalo

    Full Member

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    Hey I don't have any experience with this but I'm wondering if there is some information you can download from the PFLAG website or somewhere specifically for trans people that you could give your friend to read in his own time that might make him more able to understand where you are coming from. It sounds like he was trying to help but got it all wrong.
     
  3. OrinocoFlow

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
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    Gender Pronoun:
    He
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    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks, I'll look that up. I agree though, he's not the type to purposefully be disrespectful.