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Have you ever felt like ...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by lil miss hikes, Jul 16, 2017.

  1. lil miss hikes

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    have you ever felt like there is no one out there for you ? Lately I been feeling like I will never find that someone I am meant for ,and vice Versa. Like I will live my life alone and die alone and never experience true love because I am gay. And also very shy. If I were straight , I know I would probably be settled down with a boyfriend by now, maybe have started a family , like everyone else my age . I feel like my time is running out. Not only on meeting someone special, but that my window is closing on having children. I never want to settle into a relationship with a man just so I can have all that . But lately I feel so sad when I think about not having children. As I write this tears come to my eyes I can't help it . I want to be a mother. I have a lot of love to give. And I don't want to live my life alone , but I do.
     
  2. OrinocoFlow

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    Yes, I have. It's a terrible feeling that leaves you with nothing but hopelessness and draining self motivation. I also relate to how deep the need is to have a child. It's so overwhelming..

    But it's only temporary. You absolutely CAN find love. There are people well past the typical age range discovering love and happiness. There's also never a need to just settle for something that doesn't make you happy, especially when handling your personal life. That will only bring more regret.

    As for children, have you considered adoption? I know it's not the same as having a biological child, but it might help.
     
  3. Soshiyaki

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    I resonate with this. Life would be so much easier if I were straight. I've already kind of accepted the fact that I'm going to be alone for my whole life and yes, it's depressing. I think it's great that you have a lot of love to give, so you should definitely look into adoption. I'm sure you'll be a great mother.
     
  4. lil miss hikes

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    Thanks for replying . I guess I just wanted the comfort in knowing I wasn't the only one feeling this way. Maybe adoption would be a good option for me , tho I wouldn't want to do it alone. So hopefully there is someone out there for me and we can raise a family together . Fingers crossed.
     
  5. Kodo

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    Yes, and many people feel this way.

    But as others have said this is an understandable and temporary feeling. You have your whole life ahead of you and there are plenty of people who will love and respect you as you are, truly. That is worth waiting for.
     
  6. Lizz10

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    There is somebody out there for everyone, at least I think so anyway, it may take a while for you to find them, but you will, I'm sure of it
     
  7. lil miss hikes

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    I like to think that way too . That there is someone out there that will fit me perfectly like my missing puzzle piece. Just hope I meet them sooner than later. It's like looking for a miracle in my opinion. Some days when I go out in public I kinda look around and wonder if I will come across someone special . Like my destiny. I guess it's wishful thinking and maybe I watch too much tv lol. Has anyone ever had a miracle like that happen to them ? If ur not single how did you meet your partner ? I need some hope
     
  8. Sealgirl19

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    Yes. I'm aware that there are plenty of people out there and I'm aware that someone "will" come my way. It just so discouraging when the options around me are so limited, online dating is frustrating, and it's sometimes difficult to find someone on your wavelength. Maybe there is someone out there for me but we both are bad at hide and seek.
     
  9. TrashyClassy

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    I've been feeling like that since Jan of this year. I'm young and it just pains me to see how many straight people seem more happier than me. I don't mean for that to sound rude or anything. I know that this is necessarily a temporary thing, but it hurts so much. I always feel so different than my peers. I feel like I shouldn't feel this way because everyone around me accepts me for who I am, but I feel like true love will never happen for me. I feel really uncomfortable showing affection or interest for someone in public because I'm afraid someone will find it "disgusting." I also do feel like there is someone out there for everyone. I just hope this feeling I have towards my sexuality goes away because I know I love women and there's no one out there that can tell me I should feel ashamed because of it.
     
  10. Laughsalot

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    Know the feeling all too well!!

    In the past few years I have felt a change though. I accepted that children are probably not going to happen for me, and it took a while to get my head around that but when I did it was actually really liberating. It has given me a lease of life, I am excited about all the other possible routes that my life can take. Children are brilliant and I love all my friends kids to bits but I get to be fun auntie with them - I don't have to tell them off, I don't have the stresses of raising them in a world that is getting increasingly more judgemental and scary and I get to go home at night to peace and quiet and I am realising that that suits me. As for relationships, I feel a little more hopeful than I did previously...cautiously hopeful! I am not going to be shocked if I never find anyone ... but I might! :slight_smile: That hope has made me get out and about and encouraged me look more a little more, and that has been fun if nothing else.
     
    #10 Laughsalot, Aug 7, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2017
  11. Lizz10

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    If your looking for a miracle ik this story of a man who survived 7 near death experiences such as plane crashes, car crashes, a train crash, a bus crashing and after all that he found the love of his life and won the lottery
     
    #11 Lizz10, Aug 8, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2017
  12. azzi

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    All the things that you have said, are all my fears, and my questions for so long now.. and those were the reasons why I waited so long before finally divorcing my husband... like will I still have another person out there after my marriage? .. those thoughts just make me sad and lonely.. so I try to push those thoughts away and try to live my life.
     
  13. Lizz10

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    I see... but I still hold my beliefs, I used to be in a very simular situation, I thought I was unloved and unwanted, but things have got better, much better. I think the same will happean to you :slight_smile:
     
  14. Qwertuvle

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    In regards to the children, the age at which you can have healthy children is much higher than media would have you believe. There tends to be a large dramatization on that particular subject, with people talking about biological clocks and such.


    I'll see if I can find some material on the subject later, and I'll post it here.

    I do realize that this comment may be less helpful as it focuses on a different aspect of your speech, but I hope it does give you a little peace of mind.
     
    #14 Qwertuvle, Aug 9, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2017
  15. lil miss hikes

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    There are some people out there that never find true love and go thru life without that special one , and sometimes I feel like that is me . It hurts , but I feel like I have to come to grips with that.
     
  16. caustic

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    I believe I'll live my life alone, and I have done for as long as I can remember. I'm shy, also, and an introvert, so I'd made my peace with solitude pretty close to the get go. But that's not to say I feel like there's no one out there for me, because I know that there is. They're my best friend, and I've known them for years. We basically grew up together. We're so similar in so many ways, and yet different enough to balance each other out. We fit together so well, and things with them are easy; comfortable. I'm young, but still, I know that they're the one for me. I don't think I'll ever find somebody as perfect for me as they are. Yet, I'm not the one for them. I can never give them what they want - what they need, and although it kills me, I accept it. I'll still be there for them for as long as they let me be. But I'll be alone. The thought of being without them in the way I desire is something I'm learning to deal with, even though it's hard, because what else am I supposed to do? That's the hand I've been dealt, and all I can do is play it the best I can.

    I know this isn't very uplifting, but maybe things will be different for you. I know there have been plenty of other things in my life that I was sure would turn out worse than they did. Things are never as bad as they seem :slight_smile:
     
    #16 caustic, Aug 10, 2017
    Last edited: Aug 10, 2017
  17. Creativemind

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    I think this is a fear for a lot of gay people. I've learned to deal with it.
     
  18. Loves books

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    If been living my life under the impression that I will find someone. That there are many possible "The One"s out there and it all depends on timing and circumstance and I will find one of them and live happily ever after. If you think you're going to be alone your whole life you will be because you have to try and find someone. Your true love isn't just going to fall in to your lap I doubt your life is an episode of Once Upon A Time.
     
  19. mbanema

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    I've resigned myself to going through life alone. I'm 30, closeted (and given up on changing that), I've liked so few people in my life, and nobody has ever liked me. The chances of eve finding something mutual is essentially zero. There will probably (hopefully) always be a tiny part of me that's willing to dream, but I just don't see it. There's one guy I'd do anything to be with but he's understandably not interested so all I can do is try to be the best friend possible. I try not to think about the future too much but it's not easy.
     
  20. Suomi

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    No. There are people out there. They just for some reason find you unattractive. It hurts twice as much, due to how small this community is.
     
    #20 Suomi, Nov 27, 2017
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2017