I'm a woman (bi) and I met this girl on ###### while I was travelling and we clicked when we went out the first time (she asked me out). Though it was obvious we were both nervous the first few minutes, we talked about everything and the conversations just kept flowing afterwards. I think I made the aura too friendly though? cause I don't normally date women randomly and I was overthinking things). One of the first things she asked me was why I was using ###### while I'm travelling and she was laughing. So we were both laughing! (She laughed a lot at things I say) We talked about our past relationships and when our last one was. I mentioned that I am seeing a man but it was complicated, and she said that she has never dated a woman before. So it confused me why she was out with me. After our dinner, she asked if she wanted to grab more beer from the convenience store and sit by the river. It was very date-y, so I thought it was. I asked her if she used ###### for dating or just to meet people and she said she uses it for dating. Before our meeting ended, she asked if I had already booked my accommodations and if I wanted to sleepover. I said I couldn't cause I need to head back to another area quite far away but I will be back in a few days for a show which was a part of my itinerary. She then said we should see each other again. Of course I said yes cause I was very attracted to her. She said if our next meeting didn't push through, she will come to where I am from. I wasn't flirty at all, but when I got home, I thought I should have been. So I was a bit more flirty when we were texting and I told her I can sleepover on the night we'll see each other again and she said of course and that she was the one who invited. We were texting everyday (not continuously since she's at work)--she would suggest places to go and would ask me how my day went. Then suddenly the day before she cancelled with the sleepover cause she was meeting her parents who were also visiting early in the morning but she was still up for drinks. I still said yes to seeing her of course but there was a slight change of plans cause I met new friends and I just told her to join us since it would be more fun for my last night. I wasn't able to talk to her much that night, but we were able to steal a few minutes of alone time. It was a complete 360. She said maybe she wasn't clear in the beginning but she uses ###### to meet travellers since she is a foreigner there (but she's been living there for 6 yrs). After that I didn't make a big deal about it, I just apologized and then we joined the group again. When it was time to go I said goodbye to everyone but she was updating me where she was and was asking for updates from me if I made it home. I said sorry again about misinterpreting things and she said it was okay and she wasn't being clear. Now my very simple question is, did I really just misinterpret things? Or is she interested but confused about her sexuality? I sensed from her vibe that she takes her relationships very seriously. She mentioned she doesn't like LDR and she was overthinking things? Haha Sorry for the long post. I'm such a girl. I can't stop thinking about her and what could have happened between us, cause I feel that we connected deeply.. And she also said that we did from our last messages before leaving. We still message each other. When I left she asked if I made it home and was just saying long thank you messages again and that we should keep in touch and shit like that.
I might be totally wrong about it, but I think she sensed that you don't take relationships very seriously and decided to back off. She doesn't casually date, she doesn't do LDR and you were supposed to stay there for just a few days, so how serious could all of this have been? And then perhaps she felt a little self conscious and tried to save face by acting as if it was all in your head. PS. Her inviting you to sleep over after your sort-of-date was a pretty blatant offer, imo. I don't know how you missed that.
Aww, that sucks.. I think I did give away that vibe.. I was traveling that's why.. You're right though. How serious was all of this going to get. I still can't stop thinking about her though. On my defense with the sleepover offer, she said she doesn't date girls so I was thinking the offer was just being friendly and polite. This sucks really bad. Wish I could just stay there and get to know her more.
I think when you invited other people to go along in her mind it went from a date and getting to know eachther , to a group/casual hangout. So she was trying to be casual as well she probably started to over think it
We're now miles apart but I told her how I felt. She hasn't replied. Don't mind getting rejected though! Been losing sleep over this person, so it would be good to know if she's interested or not. Planning to go there and see her in a few months.
I agree with the others. I think she made it quite obvious that she was interested but YOU kept sending her mixed messages. 1) You tell her you are seeing a man 2) You say no to her sleepover offer 3) Not too long after you backtrack and start flirting with her, telling her that actually you would like to sleep over at hers. 4) On the day of your last meeting you completely change your plans and turn what could / should have been a date into a party night with friends (she doesn't even know) and barely get to talk to her at all throughout the night. Not surprised she backed off and tried to act casual about the whole thing. I probably would have backed off at the mention or the man but everything else would have pretty much messed with my head and would have left me totally confused about exactly what you wanted from me, probably triggering a similar reaction to hers. Hopefully the message you sent her expressing your feelings will clear things up for her and brings you the answers you need.
I know.. I messed it up. I was so drawn to her, I got too nervous. I wasn't thinking or I was overthinking.. Anyway, she did reply to me and her reply confused me more. I told her that I'm planning to travel there and want to get to know her more and see her. She said she wants to just be friends because it's challenging since she's far away and it's already a challenge for her living there alone. Basically she said she doesn't like LDR? Then I said, so the distance is just the issue and if I lived there would she date me? She said "I'm not who you think I am" meaning she's not interested in girls. I don't know.. Very unclear. But it's okay. I guess I just met her to make me realize that I shouldn't be settling with the person I'm seeing now. She wants to remain friends though, of course I said yes to that. We still message each other.
Hmm.. friendship is not that bad. You both could use it to get to know each other more. I do think she's interested in girls though coz why would she meet you in the first place if not, and have that constant communication. Anyway, hopefully friendship will lead to something better later.
Hey I think you probably did give mixed signals but I also think she probably got nervous. You said she said she doesn't normally date girls so maybe she was feeling brace the first time she met up with you and then because you couldn't stay she perhaps then got cold feet. LDR are tough so I can understand her not wanting one. Friendship is not necessarily a bad thing though.
Yes.. Thank you I'm regretting so many things now. I normally can't act on my emotions with girls for some reason. That's why I kind of chickened out the first time we met.. Really hope there's a place for us in the future. Would love to get to know her more but her being so far away is hard. Friendship is more than enough for me right now! I'll take anything I can
I'm regretting being guarded when I met her. Haha.. I'm an extrovert but I get very self conscious with people I like or am attracted to. I think that's an ENFP personality. Haha I really wish I was there right now talking to her. Not even anything physical. I just want to listen to her thoughts and look at her. I'm mega infatuated, it's embarrassing Hahaha
Hey by you keeping that line of communication open and just getting to know each other as friends, You never know what might happen. It eases the pressure, and who knows maybe she just thought she was moving too quickly and this is her way of scaling it back .
