I think I wanna end my friendship with a friend because she's thickheaded. She has a boyfriend and he does stupid things. She had to force him to claim her, he's been disrespectful of her before they got into a relationship, she had to force him to take steps to move out the the house they are in to their own apartment, and she mostly vents about how's he's not making much of an effort to change. I try my best to give her advice about just flat out telling her to leave him but she doesn't listen. I told her to move out on her own because her bf was procrastinating and not wanting to leave the last place they were at which was a roommate situation. Today I found out from her that she's moving to an apartment with her bf and he didn't want nobody to know until the day they move in yet he told his friends that they are moving because he wanted them to help them move. Yea I'm at a point of where I feel myself distancing away from her because I can't deal with how much she's changing herself for the sake of pleasing her bf. Am I a bad person for distancing myself or am I overthinking it?
I don't think you're a bad person at all for wanting to distance yourself. You're someone who loves her friend too much to see her lose herself in trying to appease someone who you feel doesn't deserve nor appreciate her. Sometimes you have to let sleeping dogs lie.
I don't think it necessarily makes you a bad friend it's a difficult situation. The problem when people are in love or think they are in love is that they can't see what we see. I think if I were you I would explain how you feel to her, even in a letter if you think that is easier. Explain that you are finding it really difficult to hang around with her because you feel as though she is changing herself so much to be with him that it hurts you but that you understand it's her decision. Maybe you have already done this I don't know.
I've tried but she's the type of person who says "ok" but keeps doing the thing you told her not to do. Her bf and my ex used to be best friends and they are a like in a lot of things they do. I keep telling her the things he'd do are similar to what my ex would do but she'd say he's different so I kinda just let it be.
That's where I am right now. I'm kinda just tired. She's subcluded herself from her friends to be under him. She keeps making decisions that she feel would please him but he's doing the bare minimum in my opinion.
Yeah I get that but at least you have told her. There isn't much you can do apart from be around when she sees the truth.
I don't think you're a bad friend.You care about her,you think she deserves something better.The problem is..sometimes people think they know whats best for them,till they open their eyes.They only can open their eyes by themselves,its difficult for someone in love to understand how the things really are because,they cant see clearly,and when you try to change their mind,they get defensive and they think that you're against them.If he is like that with her,then sooner or later she will realize that(which maybe she already knows that,but she doesnt want to admit because she is in love).Till then i think you should do whats best for you and her,which is..leave her some space,leave yourself some space,if you cant stand seeing her like this,you can always keep a distance(if you think your friendship with her is over 100%)or if you still care about her keep a distance but whatch over her silently,because if she brokes up or something bad turns out with her relationship,she will need you,and as a good friend,you should be there for her.I know how it feels like wanting to help someone and they dont want to listen,but..we should let people learn their lesson,and lessons are taught with experience
On the contrary, I think you're a good friend. You have done your part to help her and now it's up to her whether she'll take your advice or leave it. She seems to be focused on sorting out the unhealthy relationship she has with her boyfriend, and doesn't put enough care into her friendship with you. Before you distance yourself from her, did you consider talking to her about how she views your friendship? People in love often forget their priorities. Take care.
I'm thinking keeping a distance is my best option. It's becoming frustrating situation because one day they talking about marriage and kids and the next day they mad at each other.
She considers me her best friend. We both vent to each other, we don't see a lot of each other because she works a lot and our schedules conflict. I'm just at this point to where I don't wanna seem like I'm being bitter or rude.
Friendships are based on compatibility and trust. I don't think you're a bad person for wanting friends you "click" with rather than someone that puts stress on you and makes you uncomfortable.
