1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Where to come out at?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Lambeau, Aug 8, 2017.

  1. Lambeau

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2016
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    So I've never come out to any of my real life friends, but I think I've decided on which friend I want to come out to first. The only problem is, we are like never alone. Every time we hang out, it's usually with other friends as well.

    So tomorrow I'm going with him to a lake about 2 hours away from home, just the two of us. If I feel the moment is right, I might go for it and just tell him I'm gay. I don't think he'll take it badly, but he might be surprised and shocked. My concern is whether that will ruin the trip and/or make the rest of the trip and car ride home very awkward and uncomfortable.

    1. Do you think coming out to my friend at a lake before a 2 hour car ride home is a bad idea?
    2. Where have you come out to people in the past?

    A lot is made of when to come out, but I don't usually hear people talk about the location. Any advice is helpful. Thank you!
     
  2. PoppyWoppy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2017
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Wicklow, Ireland
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi! Maybe you could tell him when you are halfway back that way there's enough time to discuss it if need be but you want have an entire trip ruined if it upsets him
    <3
     
  3. Lambeau

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2016
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I was thinking that, too, but then wasn't sure a moving car would be the safest place for a potentially emotional conversation.
     
  4. J321J

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2017
    Messages:
    32
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
    What if you stopped off for something to eat at a restaurant/fast food shop on your way back (about halfway there) and then when you're getting back in the car maybe try telling him that you'd like to talk to him about something before either of you start driving again and tell him there? That way you'll be alone in the car with no other people around, you won't have to face each other if that's too intimidating and you'll be stationary.
     
  5. Lambeau

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2016
    Messages:
    125
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I'm the biggest idiot ever. So I went on the trip today, and I guided the conversation towards the topic by trying to feel out if he was okay with people being gay. Long story short, he said if one of our other friends was gay, he'd love that, and he'd help find him guys.

    Me, being the scardy-cat I am, chickened out and didn't say anything, even though it was a perfect moment to make it a light topic of conversation and say, "Well, you won't have to find him guys, but I'd like some help."

    So now I think I might text him later tonight and tell him over text, because clearly I can't do it in person. Because although there might not be a perfect time to come out, that was as close as anyone's going to get.
     
  6. PoppyWoppy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2017
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    Wicklow, Ireland
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hi again!
    Coming out in texts can be really great for some people that's how I did it Good luck
    <3