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First Date Tomorrow

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by geekyboy18, Aug 5, 2017.

  1. geekyboy18

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    I am really nervous and just need some advice. Tomorrow I have my first date with a guy and I don't know what to do. I don't have much money, so taking him anywhere isn't really an option. Add to that, when I've talked to him through messages, he seems to be pushing for sex. I have told him that I'd rather just date him first, and he said that's fine (but I'm worried he's not). And there's always the worry that he won't turn up tomorrow. But at the end of the day, am I just being paranoid?
     
  2. Gravity

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    First off, if he's pushing for sex even though you've already said you don't want to do that, that may be something to be concerned about. Stick to your guns on this one - don't let him talk you into something you don't want to do! :slight_smile:

    As far as the date itself - it's natural to be nervous, worry they won't show up, and so on. That's just part of meeting someone for the first time. If you don't have a plan for what to do, maybe you could look online for things in your area - there may be a park to go to, or a unique store to hang out in/wander through. You could always meet for coffee/tea/etc., which would cost a bit, but is still pretty inexpensive. You don't have to plan the whole time out either - you could plan an initial place to meet up and get to know each other (ideally in public), and then decide after if you want to go someplace else.

    Don't forget to tell someone where you'll be and what you're doing!
     
  3. geekyboy18

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    Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately he didn't show up. However, I'm unclear as to whether he knew what time to meet up. I sent him a message this morning with a time and place, and he didn't respond, but I know he saw the message. And, whenever I try to send him a message, it is only saying sent, not delivered (so I'm pretty certain he hasn't seen these messages). What do you think? Should I move on and forget him? Or should I give him another chance and see what happens?
     
  4. PatrickUK

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    So, the previous texts you sent all came back with a delivered notification, right?

    If you hadn't agreed a time and he didn't get your texts, that might be an excuse, but why wouldn't he attempt to contact you about it, in order to clarify the time and place? I know I would, in the circumstances.

    I don't want to rush to judge, but it does sound like he was more interested in sex than dating during your previous conversations and when you took that off the table he may have had second thoughts, even if he failed to communicate them to you. That's not your fault, by the way and I entirely agree with Gravity that you shouldn't be talked into something that you don't want, just for the sake of a date. It's important to know your boundaries when dating.

    I would wait to see if he contacts you now. It's possible that something happened and he will be able to offer a legitimate reason for not showing up or confirming arrangements, but that should happen fairly quickly. If you hear nothing, don't dwell on it, but move on.
     
  5. geekyboy18

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    Update on this: Turns out he was stuck somewhere (I don't want to state specifically where) and didn't have access to wi-fi/mobile signal to contact me. So hopefully, it's all good.
     
  6. geekyboy18

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    So now it seems like he's ignoring me. Yesterday we had a fairly long chat about how he was stuck somewhere, and he had no signal, and how he still wanted to meet me (and so on). Now, I messaged him this morning to see if he was available today. He said he had just woken up and was still tired, and would get back to me. No response, to say yes or no. I guessed that meant he couldn't do today, so I asked if he could do Wednesday. The message was delivered (but not read), and I know he's been online throughout the day. At the moment, unless he has a very valid excuse, I'm done with him wasting my time.
     
  7. geekyboy18

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    Final (probably) update: He blocked me on the social media app I was using too contact him, but he hasn't blocked me on the dating app that I met him on. That's just pathetic.
     
  8. PatrickUK

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    I'm sorry all of this happened and I hope you will not fall into the trap of considering it typical behaviour. You know who you are and you know what your boundaries are too, so hold your head high and move on. I'm afraid the "dating game" is a bit of a process of separating wheat from chaff and learning from experience as you go along. It's easy to get beaten up and defeated when something like this happens, but it's not about you, it's about them. Trust me... I remember how all of this works.

    I don't know what app you used, but I have to say that I am not a great fan of some of them (not for serious dating anyway). If you look at the other profiles on the app, do you get a positive vibe that they are people who really want something long term? They may say they do, but do you think they mean it? Does their profile and picture/s give you the impression that they want something more than sex? Have a think about it.