So this is my first ever post on this site but I was just wanting some advice on a very confusing feeling. I am an openly gay man who is currently seeing a guy (nothing official) however, I started to think and I realized that I am really attracted to him and possibly falling for him. I was confident that I'd be spending my future with him until I also became emotionally attracted to my best female friend. It was all weird how it happened, but it was something that I could feel develop over a few months. Whenever she's with me I just want to hold her and then when she isn't by me, I feel slightly lost, like I'm missing something. Yet I do not get this feeling towards the guy I'm seeing, instead with him I just want to be in his arms all the time and that's all. I don't feel the same sense of being lost without him. This is all very weird to me as I have only ever been with men and have never before been this emotional over a girl. I guess I'm just looking for advice, what should I do? Is this common? Is it just a phase? I am very confused and would really appreciate any help anyone can offer, Thank you x
"Emotional attraction" is just really deep friendship. I feel this way for my best friend and not to any of the girls I actually date. It doesn't mean I'm attracted to her, just means that I've known her for over a decade and the urge for emotional intimacy is going to be much stronger than to any stranger I actually am attracted to. Unless you actually want to sleep with her or marry her and have children with her, I doubt it means much.
Hi! Just because you love someone doesn't mean it's a Romantic thing. A lot of people love their friends, it doesn't really mean very much. <3
These are heady questions that are answered better from the heart. U are blessed with some friends that u feel close to. Only u can feel into them, the situation, what u want, & how you & your friends connect. I can imagine it's confusing, thinking you're gay, then having a close female friend. That just shows the folly of labeling ourselves. As to feeling lost when you're not w her, but not having that feeling when you're not w him …you'd need to explore that further. What do u mean by "feeling lost"? Why more w her, & not him? Could there be a difference in gender attitudes u have, feeling a different kind of closeness w a woman than a man?
This sounds like more than a deep friendship to me. I doubt you'd be posting this question if that's all it was. But I do understand why this is scary and unsettling. I would feel the same way. Wether it's two guys, two women, or one of each, you're in a tricky situation where you're attracted to two people at once. I guess you need to decide if you want to explore both, and if so, see if that's possible without hurting either.
