So as a kid my dad often took me away from my mom against my will. He also gave me physical affection against my will as well. Nothing sexual. Just stuff like hugs and kisses when I didn't want them. I often worry that I just feel gay because of this. Can trauma even make you feel gay?
Hey Tre, That's not how it works. I'm certainly no psychologist nor a psychiatrist to give you an 'expert' opinion (and even their thoughts would only be an "informed" opinion, in my book). But trauma, pain and hurt are about abuse and violence, not sex or affection in any respect.
Yeah, I agree with Quantumreality. A wise person once said to me, 'Your feelings are the only indicator of what you want.' Therefore what you feel for the same sex is just that. It's not related to anything else.
In my opinion, no. I agree with the above people, it's how you feel about a certain sex. I'm not saying I gathered this from what you said, what I'm about to say is just on a general scale- if you're a woman, you can legitimately hate men because of how hurt you've been by them, but that doesn't automatically equate to being attracted to females. You can hate one gender and not be attracted to the other gender either.
A lot of research has been carried out by some very eminent people to determine if there is a credible link and none has been established.
Yes. There is a clear link between what happened to us as kids, & our sexual orientation. For instance, many studies have documented a link between sexual abuse in children, & a glbtq orientation as adults. This is not a very popular or PC notion, as many or most glbtq would prefer to believe they were born that way. Tre: how do u think your dads affection might have affected you?
I've had the same concerns about myself. But I gess the real question is if it matters. Studies gave us different results but no real answers. And the way I see it is even if it was the case. As long as you are able to find your own place in the world it don't really matter. Or at least that's what I tell myself If it helps for you.
I think that's possible, however it won't always be the case (I'm no psychologist or scientist, though...). Just thinking about my own life scenario - I've had some major problems with men when I was younger and before I really started to think about what relationship even means, but before that I remember myself every now and then thinking something like "hey, that boy's kind of cute" when now all I think about is "please, don't try to hit on me", I feel a great deal of discomfort around 99% of guys who might have even a little bit of interest of the kind and I am definitely a lesbian. All of this brings me to "would I even be this way if not for my past?" I don't know. I do have a feeling, I would have probably been bi, maybe even swayed to the other side a bit more.
Who knows? It's possible. But then bad experiences in your youth and being gay or bi can also be nothing more than a mere coincidence.
Why would that cause you to worry? If it were true would it change how you feel about being gay? How do you feel about being gay?
Perhaps its more in the way of the bad memories I have related to it. In a way it feels like it thins the line between affection and violation. But as for being gay, I'm proud to be me. Regardless of how I came to be
Personally, I've experienced child abuse from my father (He would insult me or hit me when I messed up on something petty.), but most of my friends are guys and I don't think it affected my sexual orientation. (I'm bi) But it definitely made me afraid of intimacy and failure.
