Is it normal to not realise that your bi or gay until your 19/twenties and not accept for several more years. like it hit you out of nowhere. that u knew something was different and out of place. something wrong but you never put your finger on it, then bang all of a sudden you knew.
I really don't think there is a "normal" when it comes to things like this. Everyone is different and comes to the realization in their own time and at their own pace. It's not something that can be rushed or has an expiry date on. There's no need to measure it against anyone else, it's a very personal thing, and everyone's experience is unique.
I had something similar. I was in a "bisexual phase" since I was 17 until I was 34... Until I came in the right situation and I was finally able to realize that phases usually don't last that long and that I could not identify as straight. In retrospect it was obvious that I was bi but for some reason (I suppose internalized biphobia?) I always thought I would end up straight in the end. The mind is a strange thing!
Hahaha, i can relate to that. I discovered it when i was 18~19. I never thought too much about this, and one day i questioned it and found out i wasn't straight. I was like: Some people always knew their sexuality, since childhood. Some people will only realize it after 50, 60 years. There is no time limit set in stone.
I took a while... and felt REALLY dense looking back at it. I just really didn't think about it at all.
I sort of realised I was gay around 15/16 but refused to deal with it. Eventually at 25, I came out ... but I still have some issues... long story. But yeah... I didn't want to deal with it while a teenager or early 20s...
As everyone's pointing out, there's not really a normal - but it's also quite common for people to come out in their 20s, sure (or younger, or older). I realized I was gay when I was 20.
