I'm in high school, and I guess I want my friends to know the truth about me: that I'm bisexual. The thing is, I'm worried about how they'll take it. Everyone in my friend group(myself included) is fairly conservative, but LGBT accepting as far as I can tell. They're all typical straight high school boys, so I'm worried they might not like me anymore if they know that I'm bi. There's also this other friend of mine, let's call him Don. Don is a super conservative, Trump-supporting christian republican, but that was never really an issue for our friendship before I realized that I was bi. He makes fairly homophobic and racist remarks around me pretty frequently and to be honest I'm getting kind of sick of him. He's a big guy, and fairly intimidating which worries me because he once mentioned something about "beatin the shit out of fags" (paraphrasing). I'm not worried about him not wanting to be my friend, I'm worried about him breaking my nose. What should I do?
spaghetti, If your friends can't accept you for who you are then they are not really your friends. As far as getting hit, well there is always the police. The fag hater in my school just come out a few years ago.
Hey spaghetti0, Most people start Coming Out to just one or two close friends and build a support group of people around them from there. Perhaps you could identify one or two of your close friends that you think will be accepting and whom you can trust with your secret and then Come Out to them to begin with. Just make it clear to them that this is your own personal and private information and that they can't share it with anyone else without your specific permission. As far as Don is concerned, it sounds like you may not want to Come Out to him any time soon. However, you might be able to get a better idea of how he might react by introducing circumspectly asking him questions. For example, if he makes a homophobic comment, you might ask him what it matters to him personally. What if, for example, there were some gay people in your school. Why would he even care? Or something along those lines. Just some thoughts.
If you're worried about getting your ass handed to you, you need to look into self defense classes. The kind that is sponsored by the police department, where they teach you not just how to out maneuver your opponent, but how to fight back if you need to. There's always going to be some asshat that can't handle the fact they have to share space with someone that doesn't fit their preconceived mold of how things should be. Sometimes, you have to decide if you're willing to take the risk. There is a chance your friends won't accept this about you, but then, maybe that means you need to look at finding friends that actually are interested in being friends with YOU instead of who they think you are.
Maybe this isn't the ideal moment. But as people before said, those who can't accept you isn't worthy of being your friend.
spaghetti0 I totally see where you are coming from, being gay in high school and knowing your different sucks. Coming out is a personal experience and do it on your terms, never what you think someone wants from you in coming out. Ya dig? If your friend keeps going on these homophobic rants, I would slowly start distancing myself from them. It's not worth your happiness to feel bad all the time and worried for your safety. I know it's hard, I know. I lost a friend I loved dearly over a big fight with another friend, I stood by the friend who I loved more and we are still good friends three years strong. Find your people, they are the ones who will always be there and won't judge you for who you love.
