Firstly, I am a minor. I am a panromantic, genderqueer minor who was assigned male at birth and has an extremely transphobic and homophobic family. I've tried asking them about things like 'What's your opinion on gay marriage/rights?,' or 'How do you feel about transgenders?' Every single time they give an extremely phobic response. It feels so wrong to be sharing a roof with people housing beliefs like that. I feel as though I need to come out to them, tell them about how I feel about myself, and how I feel about others. But I'm scared. As I said, I'm a minor. I've no financial support, nor a place to escape to. I feel trapped, and I want to get out. I once said 'I saw a cute guy at school today,' and was then grounded for a month. After that month was up, my parents reminded me at least once a day that they were in some way homophobic. They still remind me to this day. I'm not sure if they think I'm gay or not, but I'm quite certain that if I were to come out, they'd do very drastic things. Does anyone have any advice?
Don't come out. Distance yourself from your family because they will likely destroy your life if you don't. Find a friend or friends you can use as an excuse to leave the house all the time. Get a driver's license if possible so you can drive yourself places. Find friends who aren't homophobic and transphobic. That is really all you can do until college. Unless you have friends / extended family who are sympathetic and can take you in.
I am and in slightly in same situation as you homophobic parents and friends. im just saying what i am doing, dont take it as gospel. find a family member that can come out to or friend. dont come out if u dont have a structure of help that u can relies upon. i would wait until u move to uni. or at lest u have a supportive family member u could stay with. distance ur self abit from your family and go out to what makes u happy. spend more time outside there. for me i know my family is going to hate this and my sis is really supportive so im going to have to move out to my BF and his family or my sis. that trapped wall caving in, in your mind i know that so well, it even resulted in me self harming. i just had to go for what made me happy, distance myself and spend as much time as possible outside doing what i loved. taking my mind away from home and having a object on me all the time, that when its getting really dark i can just hold reminding me on who and what i am and to be happy.
I'm so sorry to hear you're in such a horrific situation but even though you want to come out you need to stay in the closet until you can support yourself or have somebody to support you
Take your time and definitely distance yourself from those who seem to be a negative influence in your life, remember family is who you chose to make it with and we are all here for you. Stash some money away so if gets to the point of being so bad you can get out.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree with all those who wrote don't come out. You will be putting yourself in unnecessary risk. Use your time to try and figure out a support network for yourself. Locate those people in your environment who would be supportive. Get a job and start saving money. Wait until you're out of there. I'm sorry you're in this situation. It shouldn't be this way.
I would advise you to not come out to your parents. Not right now. Wait until you are no longer a minor, and work to become independant of them as soon as possible. Once you are independent of them (have a job, no longer under their work, no longer dependent on their finances, etc), THEN you can safely come out.
