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One of my best friends forgot my Birthday yesterday..

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Taraeos, Jul 31, 2017.

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  1. Taraeos

    Taraeos
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    Title says it all really, and I'm kinda bummed out. I didn't expect anything, as I know he's busy at the moment, but a message over Facebook or a text would have been nice. I've considered him one of my closest friends for a long time, and when we're together we have great fun, but he's never been the best at maintaining the friendship when he's away and it's stuff like this that makes me feel like he doesn't care. Because what with Facebook etc it's not exactly hard to just say "Happy Birthday." I don't want to call him out or anything because I know it's not the end of the world, but like I said, it just makes me feel like I'm the only one who values the friendship and that sucks.
     
    #1 Taraeos, Jul 31, 2017
  2. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey Taraeos,

    That sucks.:frowning2: But it also sounds like it's not expected behaviour from him. You said that he's never been the best at maintaining the friendship when he's away. I have a couple of friends like that, myself. What normally happens, though, is that when we do meet up again, our interactions pick up right where they left off and everything seems normal again.

    Do you want to call him out (even in a mild way) for missing your birthday? Or did you just want to rant here and let this go?
     
    #2 Quantumreality, Jul 31, 2017
  3. Taraeos

    Taraeos
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    Thanks..I don't know really. I might mention something in passing- I'm supposed to be meeting up with him soon, but I don't even know if that will happen. I know it'll be me that instigates and arranges it, and at this point, I'm wondering if I should even bother. I've been quite down lately (which is unusual for me) so this has probably hit me a bit harder than it would have normally, but his was the message I was waiting for and it never came, so that definitely put a dampner on my evening. I don't really know if I'm over reacting and should just let it go but we're supposed to friends (in fact I like him more than a friend) but it's things like this that just makes me question whether I'm really trying too hard for something he doesn't value. But then, like with your friends..I know if we DO meet up, we'll have great fun and things will feel normal again.

    Anyway, I guess I'm just venting a bit..I'm sure I'll be over it soon enough, it just sucks today is all..
     
    #3 Taraeos, Jul 31, 2017
  4. Quantumreality

    Quantumreality
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    Hey Taraeos,

    I'd just say that every individual is unique and every relationship that we have is different. Part of embracing a friend is accepting their flaws as well as their strengths. Maybe you just need to accept that this particular friend is always going to be bad at keeping in touch and doing the 'little things' when he is away, but that you can both pick things right up whenever you are together again.

    Just a thought.
     
    #4 Quantumreality, Jul 31, 2017
  5. Taraeos

    Taraeos
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    That's true. I know he doesn't mean anything by it- it's just frustrating when things seem very one sided at times but you're right, it is just him :slight_smile:

    Thanks for the advice!
     
    #5 Taraeos, Aug 1, 2017
  6. love23cali

    love23cali
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    I can be a blunt individual at times and personally would have said something in a not so serious tone - "Where's my birthday gift?" He might try to make it up to you and express how much he values you as a friend. Or he might just be like "oops...w/e" in which case you shouldn't consider him a good friend.
     
    #6 love23cali, Aug 3, 2017
  7. Humbly Me

    Humbly Me
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    I don't know most people's birthdays, but I also mostly lack close friendships that aren't with college students over the internet.
     
    #7 Humbly Me, Aug 4, 2017
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