1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

What was your first gay club/bar experience like?

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by bearhug1994, Jul 27, 2017.

  1. bearhug1994

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Been thinking on going to see what it's all about. What's the vibe an what not? Am I going to easily be able to find someone to talk to or will I just be sitting there all lonely an shit. Ain't got no friends that would want to go. Plus I'm not out to all my friends an the only ones I am have there own thing going on. Plus I wouldn't want to ask them to go cause they're not gay, so I'll be by myself if I go.
     
  2. OGS

    OGS
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2014
    Messages:
    2,716
    Likes Received:
    728
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So, I'll answer the initial question although I'm sure my experience isn't particularly typical.

    My first time in a gay bar was also my first time at Pride. I went to the Pride Parade--alone--and it was great but I was alone and I didn't really meet any one there. So I went to a bar there on the parade route--I ordered Sprite because I didn't really know what to do. And then I told anyone who asked that I had never been to the parade before--eventually it came out that I had never been to a gay bar either. People thought it was great that I had just been to my first parade and they sort of introduced me around, then the people who I was introduced to introduced me around. I think I probably "met" a couple hundred people that afternoon (it's a really big bar) and really hit it off with quite a few of them--I'm still friends with many of them twenty-five years later. Numbers were exchanged, plans were made--principally that I would meet a bunch of them back at that same bar the following Sunday.

    I remember riding the bus home that night just beaming at this whole new life I'd found. I also remember somewhere in the back of my mind thinking that surely it was all too good to be true. What if I went back the next Sunday and none of them were there? Maybe none of them would remember me? But almost as if they knew they had to allay my fears, that night two different guys from that afternoon called me to make sure I'd gotten home safe. That next Sunday I was introduced to the rest of the guys who would provide the core of my friends for the next ten years. There were about twenty-five of us (we even had a straight guy) and on any day of the week you could find maybe ten of us out and we always started at that same bar and then every Sunday we were all there. I kind of thought they would just be my bar friends--and that would have been good enough--but there were cocktail parties and dinners, trips to amusement parks and croquet matches in the park and two of the guys threw the most amazing holiday party every year and we were just there for each other--for years and years.

    Obviously I was particularly blessed in my first venture. Don't count on quite all that. But, in looking back, I'm also a little impressed with how proactive and courageous I was that day. I had seen something in that Parade and I was going to be part of it. I had always been kind of shy growing up and it was like it just melted away that day. I went for it and did things I wasn't particularly comfortable with, opened myself up and really dared to hope that something amazing would happen that day and it did!

    On a side note, I actually met my husband years later in that same bar. I was on my way to go dancing (at another gay club) with one of the guys I met during that first visit. And there he was. We didn't make it to the dancing. I actually I ended up ditching my friend for my soon-to-be husband. When I called to apologize the next day my friend demonstrated why we've staid friends for twenty-five years when he responded: "are you kidding? I was there, I saw him. No apology needed.":smile:
     
  3. bearhug1994

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Wow! I hope I'm that lucky! I'm just can't stop thinking to myself that if I continue on the path that I'm on that I'll never meet any one. All my friends are straight (as far as I know) and it just seems like we do the same thing over and over again. Never going to meet new ppl.
    Thanks for the reply, your story kinda made me wanna go alone just so I don't have to worry about what anyone else wants to do. I can just do me and be myself the whole time. I really hope I can find some lgbt friends along the way that I can hang out with on the weekends. The only downside is, where I'm going is like an hour and a half away.
     
  4. AwesomGaytheist

    Full Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2013
    Messages:
    6,909
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    Gender:
    Genderqueer
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Boring. It was two hours of my life I won't get back. Plus I was 18 and I couldn't even drink.
     
  5. bearhug1994

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2014
    Messages:
    143
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Was there just not many ppl there or what? Alcohol would help too haha!
     
  6. KarenLyn

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2016
    Messages:
    497
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi Bearhug!!!! "Mom" and I went to New Orleans for New Years Eve so nothing I say will be typical of a first time in a gay bar... LOL. First of all it was wall to wall people... like an ocean of humans... every type, shape, color and stages of undress (to my mom's delight). We went to a place called the 'Corner Pocket'. OMG some of those guys looked like Greek Gods LOL. I was handed something called a Hurricane followed by a 'Brain Grenade'... don't remember much after that. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    As far as going it alone... I think I'd feel more relaxed in a bar where EVERYONE was just like me. Good luck!
     
  7. OGS

    OGS
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2014
    Messages:
    2,716
    Likes Received:
    728
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    OMG I've been to the Corner Pocket! You took your mother there? You are awesome!!
     
  8. Twist

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2014
    Messages:
    422
    Likes Received:
    150
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My -very- first gay club experience? I snuck in under age, walked up to a guy who looked well to do enough to afford a hotel room, and gave him my best smile. When he smiled back, I leaned in and asked if he wanted to take me somewhere nice and f**k.

    I was in the bar for maybe a grand total of 10 minutes? Maybe less.

    At the time I was homeless. I wanted a shower, badly, and a bed to sleep in for the night. I can't say I'm proud of some of the things I did back then to survive and get by, but it's just the way it goes sometimes, and without those experiences I wouldn't be the man I am today.
     
  9. ff305

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2017
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    14
    Location:
    Somewhere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Sadly not out. But I've been to a few gay clubs when I've been on trips abroad with female friends. To sum it up - fun! I guess it's 20 times better though going to those places and be completly out and true about who you are =)
     
  10. backdrop

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 26, 2016
    Messages:
    81
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Central New Jersey
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I went to my first gaybar and it was pretty quet . Not alot of people there . I did tho have a nice conversation with someone who is trans and made my day . I am not a fan of big over the top bars . I Like intimate ones . If in the area ( NYC ) I would recommend some to ya

    in my hometown .... ya ........ owner was forceably lewd to me and I felt very uncomfortable . If I said what was going on there I would be banned on this site for being to detailed . If I would use two words It would be molestation or rape. Was very uncomfortable and I will never go back.
     
    #10 backdrop, Jul 29, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2017
  11. KarenLyn

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2016
    Messages:
    497
    Likes Received:
    15
    Location:
    Phoenix, AZ
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Actually... she took me there! LOL
     
  12. Heaux

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2017
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    this read was a rollercoaster
     
  13. Kasey

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,385
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I danced on a stripper pole and stole a handful of condoms from the women's bathroom. Need I say more?
     
  14. KnucklesNation

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2015
    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    North Carolina
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    My first time at a gay club was with a close group of friends, we wore our best outfits and went to a club in Charlotte. I didn't know what to expect..there were guys with their butts all out, women who looked like men, men who looked like women...and that was just in the parking lot! When we go in, I'm not gonna lie, I'm a little nervous. It's dark and over-crowded, I don't know if somebody is gonna try to pick my pockets, grab my junk (odd enough I think someone did grab my butt), grind it up on me, or stab me...it was Charlotte after all. They played a few good songs that kept me on the floor, but most of it was garbage that I wouldn't listen to in a car ride let alone a club. The establishment, from what I could see was disgusting, bathrooms were gross and overcrowded (pretty sure some people screwed in there before), bar area looked sticky and unclean, it was so loud I couldn't hear a word being said, hotter than the pits of hell, too crowded for me to dance for real, there was a random fight in the parking lot that led to a person getting their windows busted, all in all it was an experience. Don't know if I want to go back now that I think about it though...I guess it depends on the club.

    I'd advise you to go with a some friends, because unless you're the type that makes friends everywhere you go you may not have the best time. Being with my crew brought me out of my shell and made me feel safer.
     
    #14 KnucklesNation, Jul 30, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2017
  15. gravechild

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2013
    Messages:
    3,425
    Likes Received:
    110
    Gender:
    Androgyne
    Gender Pronoun:
    They
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    A few people
  16. Souleater

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2017
    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Austria
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    I just went to a gay bar for the first time yesterday, and I can tell you: It was quite an experience. I went in there, sat down and started drinking beer, like I would in any other bar m however then, all of a sudden, a crossdresser/trans (I cannot distinguish these two) walked up on a table and started dancing (they were celebrating the birthday of somebody and I just invited myself^^); It was really funny^^ As the evening continued I talked with some people and got more and more drunk. Bad enough that I drank so much already, however I also get the engenious idea of trying stuff from the menu, like cocktails and stuff. But it was still fun^^ I smiled the entire time i was there because i was just so happy that I had the courage (and a lot of beer) to actually grow a pair and go there. I also lost my virginity there.^^ Also I got some free drinks (vodka shots); It was a good time, I would and will go again. Maybe something bigger^^
     
  17. Flowey

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2016
    Messages:
    272
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Asia
    It was uneventful. There were too few people in the bar, and they had terrible choice of decor: drawings of penises -_-.
     
  18. LostLion

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2014
    Messages:
    407
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    United States of 'Murica.
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I have only been to an LGBT bar/club once. I went my senior year with my fraternity brothers, oddly enough, and some girls.

    We all went out to a different club to start off and feasted off the ridiculous specials for a few hours. After everyone was buzzed, one of the girls wanted to go to the gay bar. The brothers, who are all straight (save one brother who was openly LGBT, like me, at this point to the brotherhood; but he wasnt even w/ us that night), weren't opposed.

    It was a weird experience. Mainly because I was there with my straight fraternity brothers lol. One of them started making out with a girl (who is now his girlfriend of almost 2 years) on a couch almost immediately after we got inside. People were looking at them funny the whole time. was hilarious.

    The rest of us sort of dispersed. Some of the brothers went to watch the drag show, as they had never seen one before. I went to get a drink or two and planned on talking to some (non-straight) guys. It was a bit overwhelming for me, tbh, I only recently came out to my brothers and wasn't really apart of an organized LGBT community.

    After failing in conversing with some random dude, I got a drink and went over to the brothers and some of the girls. One of the girls (who is now also a girlfriend of one of the brothers lmao) asked me if I was dating one of the brothers with us (he was visiting from out of town and worked for the national organization and mainly hung out with me that night). I said no lol, and he was like "wait, you're gay?" and I was like "I'm bi, but i only recently came out." And he was fascinated by the concept and asked me like 10339394939493 questions.

    After about an hour, the brothers started leaving one by one as they got uncomfortable with dudes hitting on them lolol. One brother was even groped by a guy, which freaked him out lol. I left with the last few because I was uncomfortable staying by myself.

    All and all, doesn't seem to be my vibe, tbh. I'm not a fan of drag shows and it had a more club vibe. I like bars more. Also, I didn't know how to act in an LGBT setting so it was just weird for me to be there.

    It is funny, to me, that two of my fraternity brothers got to know their current girlfriends really well at a gay club lolol. They met them prior to going to this club, but the romance was sparked there hahahha.
     
  19. Ruby Dragon

    Ruby Dragon Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2012
    Messages:
    478
    Likes Received:
    178
    Location:
    South Africa
    Gender:
    Female
    Gender Pronoun:
    She
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My first gay club/bar experience was, like me, awkward. I'm not the clubbing type, and don't really drink, so it was more of a curiosity thing than anything. But I won't subject myself to it again anytime soon. Even going with other people is awkward because they're out on the dancefloor enjoying themselves and I'm sitting in the corner, just observing. Thanks to my social anxiety, I don't go out much, so something like that takes a lot out of me on an emotional level, and sometimes even physical level... But that's just me, I'm not saying it will be the same for others *shrug*