Did you have strict parents growing up?

I had very strict parents growing up. Although my dad died when I was 12 years old..he and I had a wonderful relationship. However, he meant business. My mom was very strict. In fact, she was focused on us siblings being disciplined and respectful that all she had to do was give us a look and we knew to calm down because that look signified to what was about to come.

 

I still have strict parents. My mom mostly. Sigh... even at my age, she knows how to push my buttons.

 

My mother took a back seat to my father's parenting. She taught us things like how to dress appropriately, how to cook, etc but left the discipline up to my father.

My father was very strict (and quite abusive as well) to me growing up, and just as strict to my twin sister (although not at all abusive to her). I legally emancipated from my parents house at 16.

 

I'd say neither, but it depends on the situation. I come from a line of Nerdy and Geeky Educator. As a teen, they didn't really do much parenting other than financially provide, and cook for me. Kinda just let me do my own thing because that usually entailed me just being in my room. As a kid, don't recall that much but similar parenting style. Only thing they were "strict" about was not letting me post YouTube videos that revealed my name or face until I was 18. Kinda fucked up our relationship having to hide all my online friends. They have a weird parenting style. Hands off unless life is in danger, or they were "offended". Very judgemental, never had a serious conversation, and when they find something about me, they pretend not to know and leave me in a state of panic.

 

My dad could be a little distant and uncaring and harsh at times, ex-stepdad was rather cruel sometimes but neither of them speak to me anymore. Probably for the best. Weren't exactly accepting and the answer to anything was always brute force. We've got brains for a reason.
So yeah, could be strict, maybe a little violent, but others have survived worse. Used to treat me like property when I was in better health. Used to think life wouldn't get better. Thought about putting his precious gun to my head. I feel a lot more sane since the divorce at least.

My mom cares at least and isn't harsh, though I worry she puts too much of the work on herself. Opposite end of the spectrum. I might be sickly and frail but I can still help out, yeah? I think she worries I'll get hurt again if I try to even help carry the groceries. Still, thankful to have one parent who cared. I just wish she would do more for herself and not just others, she's a person with needs to.

Ah, guess I'm rambling again. That was probably irrelevant.

 

I don't have the strictest parents ever but they are mildly homophobic and constantly aggressive, insulting, and smother me in their image of a future I don't want for myself.

 

Now that I'm 18, they've eased down on the strictness but yeah, they were kind of crazy overprotective back then. They never let me out of the house so I spent most of my time on the internet and would even get mad that I spend too much time online. That's as strict as it gets though.

 

This exactly. I never pushed the limits at all.

However there have been a few times where my mom has made assumptions and punished me even though I didn't do whatever she thought I did. That's only happened once or twice though.

 

Yes. I had a difficult time growing up and I still have difficulties in dealing with my parents as a result of it. They still don't see what they did (and sometimes do!) wrong, even after all those years. They tried to change me and mold me to be who they wanted me to be. That didn't work out the way they wanted because I kept fighting to be myself. My younger sister didn't. I think my sister doesn't have the slightest idea who she really is. She acts like an exact copy of my mother. Which is proof in their eyes that they did raise me well and that I am the problem. I mean, look at my sister. Sigh. Anyway, my parents were always right. No discussion possible. No hugging. No talking about feelings either. I thought of suicide many times during my teens. In retrospect it's a miracle I'm still alive.

I forgot to mention my fathers outbursts of anger without any reason. Which were according to them my fault. After I left my mother told me my father didn't have them anymore. And I believed that. I really thought for a few years that I was the cause of his outbursts. Until I went to visit my parents and sister while he had an outburst... Sigh.

 

No. They were never strict, and luckily my sister and I turned out to be good kids. My mom once told me that she is surprised we turned out good, but happy.

 

Not particularly, no. That said, I didn't give them much reason to be strict. I was a quiet docile kid who did well in school and never got in trouble (not tooting my own horn here, it's simply fact). My brother was a bit more "adventurous", but even he rarely gave my parents reason to be upset (only occasionally being grounded for staying out too late). My parents enforced limits, but they were not overbearing and I always felt I could be casual with them. Now, as an adult, I can have friendly conversations with my parents that last hours--I'm unfortunate to be close to them and to feel I can come to them with just about anything.

 

They weren't really strict but there was never really anything to punish me for and no effective punishments if there were. I never left the house except for school, I read more than I watched t.v and the only thing I got in trouble for was bad grades. I don't understand the problem but they would get strict with me about grades which ended up in screaming matches and my grades still didn't improve. I think I needed extra help and I asked for it but never got it.

 

No. My brother and I had high expectations but little enforcement - it was only when we acted rudely, violently or in any other way immorally that we had a dressing-down, which was all the more effective because it was in contrast to our parents' normally gentle behaviour. There were clear boundaries but rarely was there discipline - I'm unsure of whether it was because we just weren't very rebellious children or whether it was because they were very effective in setting boundaries and sparing, tactical uses of discipline.

My dad's always relished fighting with me over little things as a proof of independence - talking back is something he taught me to do, not to avoid. My mother doesn't take that approach but she is generous (for the most part) in helping me out when I've screwed myself over through doing something she told me was a bad idea. For her, I think, using the humiliation caused by the loss of independence was the best tool of discipline and learning, rather than micromanaging or trying to force us to live in fear.

 

in a lot of aspect, my parents are not typically asian. they got so caught up in making a living that me and my brother kind of freestyle growing up. Though we are not spoilt if you're wondering. it's just that they let me choose my own education route, my own bed time, go wherever across the country for a day trip they don't mind. in a way they're like those new wave of lazy parenting. they buy my brother digital stuff when he whines and get a bit annoying, bit like a bribe...it is really lol. but throughout my upbringing I've known my parents as the best parents I could ask for, they're caring, never resorted to beating black blue with asian sandals or enforce any high ambitions like doctor or lawyer on me. they're very much supportive of what I do (as long as it makes a living obvi)

but I wish they can be more liberating in something else, uno like lgbt. but we can't have everything right?

 

Yeah, Dad was more laid back than Mum. Jesus.. She was very hard on my sister and I growing up. So yeah we were your typical pacific-islander family; church, school and 'family first' went hand in hand. I'm not saying that my upbringing was bad because it was good and I understand now because I was a naughty little shit growing up haha. I appreciate everything they sacrificed for us BUT I do not miss being punished or 'hidings' is what we called them.