Maybe it is too soon . Maybe I am not ready for any of that, but I desperately needed a morale boost. A few days ago I signed up to an online dating site - dipping a toe in the water, I suppose - and looking for hope for the future. And you know what surprises me most? The amount of interest from women more than a decade, even closer to two decades younger than me. What is all that about? I am attractive enough for my age. But at the end of the day I am middle-aged. And these younger women are very pretty, but I feel almost old enough to be their mother and that feels creepy to me. Are all their profiles fake? Are they actually scammers? Of course the two women who I have seen who I think I might have genuine interest for and I tried to express an interest in are not interested in me, as they haven't replied. There is a further woman much closer in age who I might be interested in getting to know, but she is not out to anyone at all and, after she initiating interest with me and I replied, just chatting, seems to have run for the hills! How do I attract interest from more women close in age to myself, who are not too intense but not players either? I am bemused by it all.
Hi there. I recently came across this woman and her lesbian advice videos. They're not the most polished but she has some reasonable tips. In this one, she talks about online dating and one of the things she addresses is the age thing.
I was taking a look at an lesbian only online dating site and there were public profiles. I was thinking of joining. But something did not seem right. The top mentioned their age, but then in their actual profile, the member mentioned their age, and then it became obvious that they were showing profiles that were one, two or more years old. So, I thought, in two or more years from now, when I have probably found someone and am no longer an active member, do I want a site using my profile as click bait? Do these women want to be shown publicly long after they have ended their membership? Do I want to join a site that features members that joined years ago and are most likely inactive now? Really misleading, don't you think? So, that site is a no. Having made the mistake of signing up for a different site for six months (and with an auto renew policy that was not disclosed to me- I had to fight to get that auto renew $ returned to me, and it was returned) I found that the norm was to not get any response from any interest I expressed to other women. It really got me wondering what was so wrong with me? I tried improving profile, adding photos, reading all the advice about how to do a great profile. The only potential person I was to meet "forgot" to call me back because she feel asleep in the late afternoon. Well, there is a red flag. But I have since learned there are fake profiles, there are sites where they continue to put a lot of inactive on as active, that some real members do not even bother to read my profile, which was real clear about age range and location, and I stopped taking this lack of response personally. This site also gave points for contacting a lot of members, so I also got plenty of "throwaway" interests from other states, the wrong age, and nothing like the description of who I was looking for. On the other hand, women do meet other women online and find a lasting relationship. I know of one older woman who did just that. And I think it was a success because both of them asked each other a lot of questions and gave back answers. I am willing to try again, but not until I expand my circle of lesbian and gay friends in the area where I live. That is what I need to work on now.
Rvnt - where in California do you live? If you don't mind me asking? My area seems to have a lot of lgbt events. I don't know if it is viable to easily meet someone at those but is worth a try. I was asked to join a woman's softball team and the lady was super friendly. I hate softball, don't have a lot of time and my husband probably would have had a issue with it, but it seemed like a good place to meet someone. So much time spent practicing with people and they are social after games.
Rest assured, what your experiencing is not isolated to just woman, gay men also experience similar dynamics. My uninformed sense is the phenomenon has to do with younger people looking for a "father/mother figure" that they deep down felt might have been absent in their life. In your profile, you should consider being very specific about what your looking for. And if you are only interested in someone within your age range, just say so. I often see profiles that have comments such as "age range in or around my age but not less tha __ years." Or some other similar sentence, adjust as necessary.
