I don't know if this is normal but since 2010 I've had leaning towards White people in general. I've had more white friends/acquaintances than non-White friends/acquinatnaces. Let me point I'm not racist or bigoted. I'm a person of color(Hispanic). When I was a freshman in college, I attended a private college that was mostly upper class and White. I stood out because of being a Hispanic and lower class. I felt those were two strikes against me. I had a roommate during a summer camp before classes started at the college whom I developed some "crush" on. He was blonde, white, upper class. Something about him that I never really felt before. Maybe it was he didn't ask me about my socioeconomic background and saw me as me. And I took it as a sign of acceptance of sorts. And added to the equation we slept in the same room together for a few nights and talked. And there was that closeness. And we did hang out a couple of times once class started. And yeah we did become friends but it later went down the shit hole because of alcohol and drugs, but I won't forgot the closeness we had the first 2-3 weeks we had together as friends before the insanity of Greek Life, alchool, and drugs ruined things. We didn't have sex but I did have some brief fantasies about him. From that point forward I somewhat had preference etched in my head of White persons: Blonde, youngish looking, preppy to middle class, 18-22. And that has been the standard I've leaned towards 2010 though there has been exceptions to rule because last year when I was experimenting with my sexually with the hook ups with guys, I couldn't find blonde white guys to hook up with so I had lowered my standards down. It's hard to say if the experience of the encounters would've been different if they would've been blonde and white. I don't want to come off as an asshole and consider all the people I had hooked up with last year as inferior, because that would be harsh. I just ponder if it would've been different if they matched my preference. I'm confused why do I like white people who are blonde. Is it normal? Is it some internal racism blended with the White Supremacy in society? Am I a self hating Hispanic? Though I don't speak Spanish and talk more Angloized. I was raised in Hispanic American household where I did pick up in the Tex-Mex(Spanglish) from my parents' speech so I wasn't ignorant of Spanish. I'm just confused if I have internal racism because of society.
This sounds like you have been conditioned to think of a very specific portion of the population as better, which is definitely not healthy even if it is "normal". There would be nothing wrong with saying you aesthetically like tanned skin and dark hair but you specifically single out yourself as lowering your standards to seeing people who are not white with blonde hair.
Myclosetisfull said it all. It's okay and normal to have aesthetic preferences towards certain physical features or even towards specific ethnicities, but considering people that doesn't match your preference as a lower standard type of person gets on the edge of leaning towards racism.
With the hook ups I had of guys last year, they weren't all White and blonde. Most were minority. But I didn't dismiss them as inferior or insult with racial slurs. My standards of blonde and white because I thought it was too high. I'm trying to figure where my preference for white came from. It had to happen back in 2010 from the summer camp I was in with the blonde white guy I met and lived with for a few days. Did those feelings I had from him just bounce around a couple of years on different people that might remotely remind me of him? I'm not sure if that guy was gay or bi but I had an impression he was curious at the least because of some mannerism he acted around me and also he didn't seem interested in pursuing a relationship with females.
Our preferences are our own, just like our sexual orientation. We have the right to be attracted to who ever we wants and we shouldnt be looked down on for it, especially in the LGBTQ community. I am of mixed ancestry but identify most strongly as white and I have only been with or dated other white men. Im not ashamed of it, I dont care what people think of me, Im snobbish and look down my nose at most people anyway I would date an Asian, American Indian, Latino or Pacific Islander man if I saw one that was interested im me. I dont date or fuck protestants though. If you like fucking pretty white guys, do it. Dont care about being judged by others. Most people like to pretend that they are better than they actually are or above it all, and they are probably liars. Most of us see color have bias' to religion, race, nationality, political affiliation, or gender, but don't want to admit it.
You can't help what you are attracted to. I don't think it is racist at all really, because it is mostly subconscious. I mean, it might be a different story if you consciously make a choice like that. But really, you can't help it and its fine
Everyone here seems to be telling you to stick to your preferences but I don't know how many people are actually aware just how marginalized of a group LGBT is. It's to say that stating such preferences sometimes hurt us in the long haul. We're a small group our chances are skewed, especially for those that are already minorities within a minority group. You might want to expand those preferences by keeping an open-mind at tab. I try not to state racial preferences as that boxes my liking's and intimidates people who are not of that race, it's also to say what would happen if I kept an open mind to it? I increase my chances of securing a partner. Ultimately having preferences is normal, it's out of our control, it's how we choose to acknowledge our preferences, inform others about them and there-on consider those who do not fall within those preferred traits.
As long as these preferences aren't racially motivated, I'm not sure it matters who your preferences lean towards. But, as Sivert has pointed out, what matters is.... As long as you're not consciously excluding them from consideration (as you never know who that prefect match is going to be when you find them) then preferences are perfectly normal.
The preferences seemed to start up a lot earlier than 2010 now that I look back. I don't know if this is relevant but I somewhat had a borderline crush towards this guy from another high school I used to run against in distance track. He was slim and white and had curly hair and wealthy. I didn't have sex with him or anything nor did have sexual fantasies about him, I just thought about him somewhat in a platonic maybe romantic. Then I felt somewhat the same feelings towards his step-brother(he and him did distance track together) the following year somewhat. I mean, I didn't have fantasies about having sex with either guy but I had some feelings/thoughts about either one of those guys. It was more like platonic maybe some romantic. It wasn't about sex and I was young and sex wasn't on my mind at the time to be honest. Could those experiences had developed/shaped my psychosocial frame of my mind with regards to my own preferences? I don't want to label myself as "racist" because I don't see myself as "racist." I'm trying to piece together why I have a inkling towards whiteness.
As already said, you can't help what you're attracted to. Some people like dark hair, while others like light hair. As for race, it's nothing big, unless you instantly exclude everyone from a specific race. Me personally, I'm white(mostly) but I have always been attracted to Hispanics. I've dated black girls. But now I'm married to a white woman. Does that mean I'm no longer attracted to Hispanic people? No. If you're attracted to white people then that's just who you like. Just don't look down on someone because they're not white with blonde hair.
