Since coming out to my parents, something my dad told me about, has stuck in my mind, and made me a little concerned. HOWEVER, I know that one cannot CHOOSE their sexuality. Allow me to elaborate. I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder 7 years ago. It's been an up and down rollercoaster and doesn't seem to be stopping any time soon. I'm also bisexual. My dad sat me down one evening after dinner and told me a little "story". He said, "[His colleague's name]'s brother was dead-set that he's gay. He lived with his partner, and they talked about getting married. Then he got diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He got the right treatment for it and today he's happily married - to a woman - and they have kids together. What I'm trying to say is, don't completely disregard this issue. A bipolar person's mind works differently than other people's minds, and it could influence a lot of life choices, not always for the better. Just keep that in mind." Well, it bothered me then, and still bothers me now. I don't want to find out somewhere along the road that what I thought was bisexuality, was actually just my bipolar mind tricking me into thinking I'm bisexual. I know this all sounds absurd, and I first fell in love with a girl in high school - a long time before being diagnosed as bipolar. I first came out in 2012, as lesbian, only to realize sometime later that I'm actually bisexual, not gay. Could my dad be onto something here? Is my attraction to women nothing more than a "loose wire" in my brain? I am known to be an over-thinker, and it's caused a lot of problems for me. I know I should just let it go, but I can't. I keep wondering, if all of this is, literally, just in my head. I haven't discussed the possibility with my psychiatrist but I think maybe I should talk to her about this and see what she says. This is driving me insane. How would you handle this if you were in my shoes?
NO. If that were true, wouldn't every bipolar person be straight? I've never seen any science linking the two, although it could affect a person's behavior. It's possible he was able to live a more "stable" life after that, but chances are, he's still a gay/bi man, just married and with kids. Sounds like your dad is trying to get you back into the closet. He might have the best of intentions in mind, but he obviously doesn't understand bisexuality, and plays into the stereotypes that we're some out of control nymphos who can't lead "normal" lives. I would stop listening to such "stories"...
I agree with gravechild, it's never been proven that one's psychological state directly influences sexuality. Sexuality is a completely separate aspect from that and no one's entirely sure what makes a person gay, straight, bi, etc. Don't listen to that kind of talk.
Probably he's bisexual, swinging a bit both ways. I hope though that he is happy with that women, and that he did it because he felt pressured into having that sort of life. Bipolar disorder is something a person is born with (unless caused by some brain trauma, dementia or some other brain event later in life) so I diagnosis is just putting a name on something that the person has always had. Sexual orientation is even more so set at birth, the brain is wired differently for the get go. Like me I'm 97-98% gay, but for some it's always been 100% one or the other, and for some their sexual orientation is more fluid over time. The only thing I'd say really correlates to bisexuality and going back and forth between being mostly into one or the other gender is borderline personality disorder. I have a cousin who has that, her persona and interests change by the year, one minute she's totally into guys, next one totally into women (she's currently married to a woman) but if she would gets a divorce it wouldn't surprise me if she found a boyfriend again. The only pretty much 100% correlation between sex and bipolar disorder is that the sex drive varies a lot depending in what state the person is in not what sexual orientation a person has.
I have well managed bipolar. My new gender therapist wanted to make sure I was stable from my psychiatrist before writing any documents. I couldn't be more happy or stable right now than I am.
