what are your fetishes and why do you think you like what you do

When I was single, I liked my sex with women to take place in the shower. The reason wasn't water related so much as that I had an issue with the "mess" that girl-juices created. Therefore, the shower made things much better for me.

Women's navels. I couldn't tell you why, but it isn't breasts or hips or feet or anything like that.... but a woman's navel? Completely sexy.

Other current fetishes are those I share with my partner Gideon.

Dominance & Submission... although I don't consider this a fetish, but instead an integral part of our relationship, I understand many would consider it fetish. Gideon and I are both dominant personalities, but he is more dominant than I am. This transfers over into bed.

That said, ever since I met him I have reacted differently to him than anyone else I'd ever met. It took a while to understand I was reacting to his dominance in a submissive manner. This has created a unique dynamic between us where we are in a constant flux between D/s dynamic and an "equals" dynamic. In bed, this almost always turns distinctly D/s with me as the submissive, with the exception of the occasional urges that rise in me to take the reigns. With him... it has worked out perfectly, if creating somewhat of an unusual dynamic others often find unpredictable.

If (definitely NOT happening, but in the hypothetical) I were not with Gideon, D/s would probably still be a part of how I relate in sexual interactions with others, just as it was prior to my relationship with Gideon.... although back then I didn't have a name for it, and I am certain I would revert back to being the dominant party in any encounters.
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Violence is a big one between Gideon and I. Never in anger, and never unless both of us are in the right mindspace to make it hot, but we have been known to use violence as a form of foreplay. Sometimes just violence for violence sake, sometimes as a "take down" type of scenario. It creates an... intensity that we both enjoy.

Asphyxiation. Like the violence, this is Gideon specific. That said, I find his fist on my throat extremely hot... and I find his controlling my breath during sex not just extremely hot but one of the things at the very top of my list of favorites. It is about his control and dominance in the situation, and my trust in him.

I'm sure there are others, but I don't usually consider my preferences as "fetishes", so it's hard for me to pick them out.

 

I hope it all works out when you give it a go

 

And, of course, most people who have seen my posts know I have a thing for BDSM, androgyny, alternative fashion, x-rated animated art

 

For asphyxiation and other potentially fatal kinks, the trust is extremely important. Not just the trust, though, but also that the person you're giving that trust to is deserving of it as well as understands and appreciates the weight and risk of the activity.

With Gideon, he is so focused on me and my well-being, day in and day out, and cherishes my presence in his life so greatly.... I know he would never intentionally take things too far, and do everything possible to be sure nothing happens accidentally as well.

 

I hope that everyone gets the chance to find someone that's as good a match for them as Gideon is for me, but at the same time, I know I am extremely lucky.

 

When I met Gid, I was not interested in any way, shape, or form in having a relationship with anyone beyond (at most) a friends with benefits arrangement. Gideon changed that for me, although it took some time and convincing along the way to get me there. Prior to him, I had always wore the Dominant role in my encounters with both men and women. That submissive reaction I had to him was at first extremely baffling, and I ran from it for a bit, because it was... uncomfortable in a "vulnerability" sort of way. Fortunately, he didn't let me run very far. And we've been together over 9 years now.

 

Incidentally, in our relationship, Gideon has a few kinks as well. Such as liking to be bitten, and he enjoys seeing his marks on me (bruises, etc), usually obtained during that violence, or asphyxiation, or just through rough handling during sex. I, in turn, enjoy wearing the marks as they are much like how a teenager feels pride at wearing their partner's hickey, and also enjoy the pride in his gaze when he sees those marks on my skin.

 

Definitely!

 

Can you explain what you mean by "sub/dom bdsm"?

We see Dominance and submission as separate (but related) to BDSM.

I.e.: Dominance/submission is a dynamic. BDSM is an activity.

 

Many of our activities would be considered extreme bdsm, such as the asphyxiation, the "take down" as foreplay, etc. Some mental bdsm such as gratification delay and mental bondage (no ropes, but you better not move until he says so), etc.

We don't use a lot of toys/props such as ropes or floggers or things. Mostly? Whatever BDSM we incorporate is linked to sex, and our sex is usually so intense we rarely have the patience for the extra accessories. In my observation and experience, a lot of BDSM activity (and those participate in BDSM) don't associate BDSM with sex, and don't incorporate the two. Dabblers do, but those that are really into it don't seem to from what I've seen.

 

There are lots of different types of mental bdsm. There's the kind of things I describe, but that's just one type. Some take it to extremes (ie: one must ask permission to use the bathroom, eat, etc). Some go in the direction of degradation and humiliation, etc. Most of these we don't participate in, although I have met many who are. They're just not something that does it for us personally, yeah?