At least to me as gay man looking in, lesbians seem like a family, very supportive of each other and very in tune, like a big sisterhood. I imagine you could all climb into a kangaroo pouch together snuggle up and be comfortable eating fig newtons or some such other silliness. Gays guys on the other hand are much more divided and there is alot of animosity between the sub-groups, twinks, jocks, closet cases, flamers. Gay men seem like they are like teenage girls full of spite and very cliquish. Has anyone else noticed this? Lesbian's what do you think.
It's kind of funny because the way I've encountered gay men is a lot more like the way you describe lesbians. On the other hand I've seen two bar fights in my life--both all lesbians.
i'm thinking, could it be the feminine/bitchy traits that come with fem guys. i like to gossip sometimes with close friends, realising how bitchy i am, feel almost cliqué.
I only know one lesbo personally, she's a cop and she loves all women, skinny, fat, tall, short, black or white if they have a vagina she calls them sister. She loves them so much, that Im sure she has let hot girls out of tickets for oral favors. In fact in high school she would openly hit on my girlfriends and young teachers, my female family members. She's a good friend but boy is she a little horndog. Im closeted myself so my parnters and I are all very civil out of necessity, on the other hand the open gay men Ive met and watch all have big "personalities", which might contribute to the bitchy-ness.
The only lesbian I know is me and the only gay guy I know is my uncle. My sister on the other hand went to college and instantly became best friends with literally about ten gay guys. Her friends all sounded a little bitchy. My gay uncle is a huge gossip despite the fact I didn't know who he was talking about I heard all about how the was two gay hairdressers in the town and one was being repeatedly cheated on and everyone know except the one being cheated on. I didn't ask who everyone was. He seems to have a lot of gay friends who are all very different. He was an out gay in Ireland before it was legal
I think it depends, some are very community oriented, some are catty and very "you have to look and act a certain way if you want to sit with us" type of personality, or if you don't meet the physical standards of a lesbian, they'll assume you're bi or straight and confused. Even though I know alot of gay men, I haven't been to male gay bars or where there are groups of them together to see how they generally seem with one another. Most of them that I know are really nice, fun, creative, on top of things, but I couldn't say how they are with eachother.
I find that it depends on the person. I could not stand most of the lesbians I met in person, I'm sorry to say. They were very judgmental, were misandrist, biphobic, etc. Defined themselves by their sexuality WAY too much (I'm okay with talking about it, but they were so obsessed with lesbian "rules" that they questioned my sexuality just for liking a male fictional character. Keep in mind this was never in a sexual way). But I've also met a lot of nasty gay men too, so it depends on the person.
Such a good point, Ive noticed that is so common with gay guys,for me personally, gay is the last thing in a long list of what defines me. Who was the fictional character? Its so silly they would question you. Im way into pin-up girls, I have them hanging in my apartment framed, my calender's, stickers on my truck, and tattooed to my body, but that doesnt make me less gay. My avatar is Mary Elizabeth Winstead as a pin-up, because I think its gorgeous. People can be so silly sometimes.
Wow Reading these replies reminds me that with the exception of who we choose to be sexual with gay people are EXACTLY the same as straight people...
The gay people I know online are all super nice, and I find straight people hate each other plenty so, um, I really haven't experienced any of the wierd stereotypical "gay" things that people supposedly do...
i would argue that the sterotype of a gay man is to be a bit of a bitch and gossip with all his girlfreinds... u get differnet people in all groups i know some gay men to fit this bill and some who dont
I've said it before: pound for pound, your average lesbian can probably whoop your average gay man's *ss. I'm not sure, honestly. I'd like to say that men in general are a lot more "tribal" and independent, so you get more overt competition, whereas women are conditioned to "play nice". Like, they have the ego of men, but instead of getting into fist fights, it's more verbal sparring. The lesbians, well, they're bound together by being oppressed as women and sexual minorities, but there are cliques, too. It does seem lesbians pair together faster, and stay together longer. They prefer the suburbs to the city. Not sure if their relationships tend to be open or closed, but they seem to deal with cheating differently, too, compared to gay men.
It seems like a lot of you only seem to know stereotypical gay men/women. The only out-gay people I knew were surprisingly very far from anything stereotypical, it's as if they actively avoided the stereotypical traits. Most of the gay men I met were pretty laid back and on the masculine spectrum. Most of the lesbians I knew were also pretty calm, generally in between masculine and feminine. The only time I witness hostility among either of the groups is from watching TV shows/movies. They seem to always pick the most outlandish, sassy, over the top LGBT people they can find. They love selling those stereotypes to straight people.
Categorising or promoting generalisations of the lesbian and gay communities is very dangerous territory - especially when it comes to feminine gay men. Femininity =/= cattiness.