Am I the only one here who only believes in 2 genders?

I'm not sure how I feel about non-binary genders. I identified as non-binary for a while before realising that I was trans. I knew I wasn't comfortable as a female, but the idea of being a transgender male just seemed so strange and drastic. Honestly, even if there isn't any scientific backing, it's not hurting anyone. Whatever makes people happy is fine by me.

 

I wanted to like your post, but it won't let me. But I agree. People had the exact same feelings and annoyance (as well as hatred) towards gays before, just because they didn't understand.

I do fully admit, I don't understand much about it, but I don't condemn it or act/sound gruff and annoyed by it either. It's not hurting anyone, no one's forcing anyone to be non-binary, I don't understand the gruff annoyance about it. I think it'll take time for people to accept it the way it took (at least most) people time to, for the most part, accept gays. Even though that still has a ways to go.

 

I don't understand anything beyond male or female tbh. if you are offended by me referring to you as him or her, then sorry but that's how most people's brain are wired to. i do get why people get uncomfortable being refered the wrong gender (male/female) if they are transgender. i totally get that 100%. but non binary, i will never be able to relate.

 

I don't understand non-binary either, and believe a large portion of it is born out of gender roles and conflating gender identity for them. A feminine man is still a male and can identify as a male, like a masculine woman can partake in masculine roles and still identify as a woman. I do think transgender people are legitimate though, since it's a biological phenomenon and has been scientifically documented. It's not so much an issue of gender roles but physical sex/body for them.

Non-binary also seems to contradict itself very often; claiming gender roles are obsolete yet claim themselves as non-binary due to not fitting within specific, gendered boxes.

 

You're not alone

 

I think of gender the same way I think of sexuality. Everyone is on a spectrum and while most people are cisgender there are people who were born the wrong gender or people who don't fit either gender so prefer to be non binary. It kind of confused me at first but after looking it up and watching Degrassi on Netflix where they introduced a non binary character I think I have a basic understanding.

 

First off, I believe a lot of confusion could be erased if people stopped mixing up the term 'gender' with 'sex' as in biological sex.

There are only two biological sexes, male and female. Or 3, if you count intersex (hermaphrodism).

From my understanding, 'gender' isn't necessarily tied directly with a person's biological sex. It can be seperate.

For example, I know that genetically I am a biological female. Nothing will ever change this. However, I don't identify as female and nor do I as male. I don't personally feel like either one. I don't expect people to use certain pronouns. Nor do I have any that I prefer. I just go with it.

I hope this makes sense. I'm not used to trying to explain this to people.

 

It does, I wanted to thumbs up this post, but it won't let me

 

I believe that there are two genders, male and female, but that people can also be neither of them (agender), can only partially be one (demigender i believe). or can be a mix of the two (bigender). I also believe that it is possible for your gender to be fluid (genderfluid obviously).

 

I am undecided on whether or not nonbinary genders are valid. I am open-minded, but I need evidence. I feel like I, too, am amungst the few LGBT people who don't believe for certain that nonbinary is a thing. Whenever I ask for evidence, people say, "oho gender is a social construct". Well, maybe, depends on what gender even is. If you are to claim that being nonbinary is being transgendered, however, then no, that is not a social construct. Trans people are trans because of what is in their brains, not because of society. If they were born in any other society, they'd still experience gender dysphoria. So no, saying that gender is a social construct will not convince me that nonbinary is legit.
But, if you are not saying it is another transgender thing, and that it is based on social constructs, okay, fine, I'm still not entirely convinced. I will say this, you can be a masculine woman or a feminine man, and still be binary. Not all women feel exactly the same, not all men feel exactly the same. So don't think you aren't a man or a woman because you feel like maybe you are slightly different. Not all nonbinary people think that, but a lot of people claiming the title do.
Regardless of whether or not I'm convinced, I have no reason not to just respect people anyway. If you want to be called they, fine by me, I don't care.

 

How do you "feel" like a gender?

 

Look, honestly there are only two biological genders. You are either born as one or the other and you naturally produce one hormone or the other. But there are multiple genders regarding psychological preference, belief and/or physical and social behaviour, like I am biologically female but i prefer to be neutral because I find that i show both male and female characteristics in my overall behaviour. But people can believe what they wish, I have nothing against that.

 

If I act more masculine or more neutral or less feminine, does this make less of a girl?

Because there are times where I act masculine, or wish to have a more masculine role in social interactions, but I still think I'm a girl.

Also, there are times I want to look more masculine as well, but I am always comfortable in my female body.

I'm not trying to invalidate anyone, but I'm trying to understand. Are these the feelings you have that make you not want to identify as a man or a woman? Or is it something else? I want to understand.

Again, I am not trying to invalidate anyone, and I'm sorry if I come off that way, I feel like I come off that way.

 

There's a difference btw expressing and identifying as.

Masculine, feminine, neutral and androgynous are all gender expressions, anybody of any gender identity can behave like that or be born like that.

people mistake wanting to express masculine , feminine, neutral or androgynous with wanting to be treated and perceived as a girl, boy or other gender identity. No , genderfluid people don't necessarily want to be treated as boys when they behave in a masculine manner.

Gender identities are culturally build over gender roles and stereotypes and gender expression (biological sex , behaviors , etc also makes a part here). if the masculine/man gender identity is built over masculinity (something that doesn't exist in nature, humans create words and give meaning to it , nature didn't tell us wearing blue was "masculine" , society said so), and the feminine/woman gender Identity based on what society calls feminine, then what stops gender identities like androgyne being built over androgyny and neutrois built over gender neutrality.


As I said , society dictates what's masculine, feminine, androgynous and unisex, society also invented gender identities, since gender Identities are not from nature but from humans, it's OK to be agender and not identify as anything, people shouldn't be forced to do anything, it's also OK to identify as a boy and not believe that clothing and behaviors are gendered and not follow society rules.


Many cultures had non-binary gender identities in the past though. Gender identities are not natural, they're constructed and reconstructed all the time, what was feminine yesterday, may not be today. you're the only one who can build your own identity, since it's so personal, nothing stops you from identifying as whatever you want or not, theoretically. gender identities doesn't make any sense, men doesn't, women doesn't, nbs doesn't, when people say nb identities are not valid... they're literally saying their own Identities have questionable validation.


And tbh if you go away back in time, masculinity, femininity, manhood, womanhood were concepts invented as an excuse to create an hierárquical class system in which weak assigned males at birth and people assigned females at birth were inferior and "less human"

 

So far as scientific evidence, that's almost impossible to "prove" at this time. There isn't a lot of research even on binary trans issues, and the idea of being nonbinary, while not new, seems to be something that has only recently reached the scientific community. I doubt there's more than one or two studies out there. Check back in a decade, maybe.

Secondly while I think non binary genders are legit, I do have a hard time grasping how someone could feel that way. Often the question is "how do you feel like a [gender]? I don't feel like [gender]!" ...well, I imagine they feel nonbinary in the same way binary trans folks feel male or female. Hard to explain, and hard to pinpoint what that feeling is... unless something is off between body and mind.

Yes, even cis folks have a gender identity. It's just not something you notice, in the same way you don't really notice, say, the bones in your arm, or your eardrum.... until something goes wrong and it isn't functioning properly. In my case, my gender identity is male, but unlike most guys, I'm aware of it.... because it doesn't match my 'female' body (aka "dysphoria"). In the case of a nonbinary person I assume it's a similar situation, but instead of going male or female, it has aspects of both or neither.

I think the difficulty I have understanding it is probably similar to the way a cis person can't really understand what it's like to be binary transgender. I can't even imagine how it feels to be a trans woman.. although it's easier for me to grasp since it's a similar "opposite" to how I feel.

 

I believe, personally, that we can't know everything. Science doesn't answer everything, it only provides the answers it is capable of producing at the present time. There's a lot we do know about the brain and the development of a baby in utero, and there's just as much we still have to learn. This is why i am open to things like transgender, bigender, etc. I'm not going to invalidate what someone genuinely feels just because i don't understand it because that's just who i am, and because i think science has a ways to go before we can claim to fully understand how the human body and brain develop and function. If that's how you truly feel, hats off to you for being in touch with yourself an i am going to respect that, that's my opinion on it.

 

So, obviously, sex and gender are different. Sex is used today to put people into two different categories, male and female, and refers to the reproductive roles they assume. (There is of course also intersex and other abnormalities of sex chromosomes, but the main two are male and female). Sex is also used to describe the physical and biological traits of people, such as genitalia, reproductive organs, et cetera. [1] [2] [3]

Gender, meanwhile, refers to the socially constructed beliefs that a culture has on how a certain biological sex should act and feel. Behaviour that is compatible with these expectations is called gender-normative, and behaviour that does not is seen as non-conformity. [2] [3] [4]

Gender identity refers to how a person identifies as a gender, and is expressed through their name, pronouns, clothing, hairstyle, and so on. Most people identify as male or female, but some do not fit into those two categories. Those that do not are referred to as non-binary or genderqueer. [1] [3] [5]

Non-binary or genderqueer individuals are people that do not identify with their assigned sex at birth, or with the binary understanding of gender. They do not see themselves as entirely male or female. Some genderqueer/non-binary people can think of themselves as both male and female (bigender, androgyne); neither male nor female (agender, genderless, neutrois), can move between identifying as different genders (genderfluid), and more. Those are just a handful of examples, because gender relies on the individual and how they feel. [1] [3] [5] [6] [7]

Sources used - American Psychological Association, World Health Organization, Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, Ontario Human Rights Commission, Human Rights Campaign.

Also; an easier source to see the APA's ideas on gender and sex.

 

I don't understand why a lot of people, especially and mostly cis people, feel the need share their opinions on gender without having a clue what they're talking about. "But there's only two genders, it's what we were told in second-grade biology1!!1!111!!" Just stop for a moment and think about it: Do you, as a gay or bi person, think a straight person should argue about your identity? Are they qualified to verify homosexuality? I certainly think straight people can - and should - listen and also talk to queer people, but they should not start making videos like "There's only one sexuality". Because that's easy to say as a straight person. And that goes for everything I could go out there and say that everyone is cis and bisexual because I was afab and identify as female and am attracted to my own and other genders. I could say racism doesn't exist because I'm not confronted with it as a white person. But I think you'll all agree that that's not true.

So if someone tells me they are non-binary, why would I feel the need to debate that? Don't they know best who they are? Why would anyone claim to be in a marginalised group? I think we all need to listen and accept that not everything is black and white or the way we learned. When I found out about non-binary people, I was confused but I decided to learn about it before forming an opinion. To listen to actual non-binary people. And I realised that actual biologists don't agree with the whole "there are only two genders"-mentality. I see no point in claiming that there are only two genders. There are still people who think homosexuality doesn't exist ffs! It's just sad how eager people are to dismiss other genders than male and female just because it complicates things. There have been non-binary people long before tumblr (or the Internet) even existed, there was just no label for them or other labels in certain cultures (like Two Spirits).

And coincidentally I just watched this amazing video by Kat Blaque, I suggest you check it out (and her whole channel while you're at it, she's amazing):

 

I wish I could like this post, but it won't let me. I agree with you though

 

I tend to agree with the OP in terms of their being two genders. I do not really talk about this, as someone else mentioned, to keep peace (it doesn't affect me enough to care to start arguments).

However, I feel "gender" is a convoluted subject. There's identity, expression, etc. I personally see it as more of an innate thing. Do you feel like a male or a female? Or which do you feel like the most? There is your answer. I don't know why it needs to be complicated. I identify as a male, but that is because I am XY in terms of my sex. I don't think I act particularly masculine or feminine. I don't believe you have to necessarily conform to traditional gender roles to be a male or female. If I wanted to, for example, wear makeup, that doesn't really invalidate me as someone who identifies as a man. It's me being feminine, yes, but doesn't mean I'm not a man.

I personally see it as you're either a male or female in terms of gender. I can understand people who identify as "agender," for example, since I feel that way a lot, but I think a lot of people may just be confused over the fact that you can be consistently one gender and express yourself as another gender from time to time too. The only thing that may make me uncertain is people who say they are both genders, and that it switches from time to time. I wouldn't know about that, but I'd sort of wonder if there was something lacking in that persons development of their identity as a teenager. Not that it's anything bad, just my thoughts.